Show Notes
In this episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts sit down with Mike, a Patreon supporter and recovering addict, for a raw and deeply personal conversation about addiction, identity, mental health, and what it really means to rebuild a life from the ground up. Mike shares how, despite growing up in a loving and financially stable home, he struggled internally from a young age with bullying, low self-worth, and a constant feeling of not fitting in. As an adult, he was diagnosed with autism, which helped him understand years of masking, people-pleasing, and difficulty regulating emotions — all of which fed into his addiction. Mike I got clean on the screen Mike’s substance use began socially with alcohol and escalated when cocaine entered the picture during nights out and London work culture. What started as confidence and connection gradually became compulsion, secrecy, and isolation. He describes the shift from “fun” to needing drugs just to feel normal, using alone, lying about money, and living a double life that eventually led to the breakdown of his marriage. At his lowest point, overwhelmed by shame and consequences, Mike believed suicide was his only way out — a crisis that ultimately forced him to admit the truth and ask for help. Mike I got clean on the screen He entered recovery during COVID through Zoom meetings, throwing himself into the program with willingness, service, and connection. But his journey wasn’t linear. Mike speaks openly about multiple relapses, including one he hid for two years while continuing to claim clean time. The emotional weight of that dishonesty led to anger, relationship damage, and mental instability. When the truth finally came out, he reset his clean date and describes the relief of honesty as a turning point in his recovery. Mike I got clean on the screen The episode also explores Mike’s mental health struggles. After a suicide attempt involving medication, he was hospitalized and later diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) alongside autism. With treatment, medication, and a deeper understanding of his emotional patterns, he now recognizes how mental health and addiction intertwine — and how recovery requires addressing both. Mike I got clean on the screen Now one year into an honest stretch of recovery, Mike explains what’s different this time: in-person meetings, active step work, full transparency with his sponsor, a small but strong support network, and a willingness to prioritize healing over relationships and comfort. He talks about finding joy in ordinary life — home, routine, connection, and helping newcomers — rather than chaos and nightlife. Recovery, for him, feels like being “born again,” not in a religious sense, but as a complete reset and chance to live with integrity instead of performance. Mike I got clean on the screen This episode is a powerful reminder that addiction is about far more than substances. It’s about identity, shame, mental health, and the courage to tell the truth. Mike’s story shows that relapse doesn’t have to be the end — but secrets will keep people stuck. With honesty, community, and willingness, change is possible.
More from Addicted to Recovery
We’re back. After nearly four months away, we’re finally back behind the microphones — and there’s a lot to catch up on. In this episode, we talk honestly about what’s been happening in both of our lives over the summer and why taking a break from the podcast was something we both needed. A big part of the conversation is Chris opening up about his relapse after almost five years clean. We talk through what led up to it, the warning signs that are much easier to see looking back, how his recovery programme had slowly slipped, and the dangerous thinking that followed when using again didn’t immediately send his life into chaos. We also talk about Max’s experience over the last few months. Life on the outside is good — family, work and plenty to be grateful for — but internally, that familiar feeling of discomfort had started creeping back in. We discuss our shared tendency to look for external things to change how we feel internally, and what happens when we stop doing the things that keep us grounded. It leads us into a really honest conversation about ego, complacency, perfection, family, sponsorship, meetings, Step 10, connection and the importance of continuing to work a programme even when life is going well. We also share what’s been happening in our lives away from recovery — weddings, family, work, new opportunities and everything else that’s happened during our time away. Finally, we explain what the future looks like for Addicted to Recovery. We’re changing things up, taking the pressure off and returning once a month, allowing us to focus on the conversations and guests that made us fall in love with doing the podcast in the first place. It feels good to be back. Max & Chris Addicted to Recovery
In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, Max and Chris sit down with Gab — a former talent manager whose gambling addiction spiralled into a devastating double life involving secret debts, celebrity clients, court cases, and eventually prison. Gab opens up about the hidden reality of compulsive gambling, from the early warning signs as a child to chasing losses through the night, gambling away hundreds of thousands of pounds, and living in complete mental torment while trying to maintain the appearance of success. He shares how addiction became his escape, his comfort, and ultimately the thing that nearly destroyed everything. The conversation dives deep into: The similarities between gambling addiction and substance addiction Living with secrecy, shame, and obsession The emotional toll of chasing losses How recovery began through honesty and therapy The reality of prison after addiction-fuelled fraud charges Why addiction is so often misunderstood by society Alongside Gab’s story, the hosts also announce an important new chapter for the podcast as Addicted to Recovery moves into a seasonal format to prioritise balance, recovery, and sustainability moving forward. A raw, honest, and deeply insightful episode about addiction, consequences, recovery, and hop
In this honest and deeply relatable episode of Addicted to Recovery, the boys sit down with returning guest Chris to explore what recovery really looks like beyond the meetings. Two years on, Chris opens up about life with a growing family, the daily challenge of applying recovery principles at home, and the constant tug-of-war between selflessness and self-centered thinking. From isolation and intrusive thoughts to relationships, parenting, and the struggle for presence, this conversation gets real about the messy middle of recovery. Together, they unpack: Why family often gets a “different version” of us than the outside world The role of fear, control, and emotional sensitivity in addiction Intrusive thoughts, escapism, and the addict’s tendency to catastrophize The importance of service, presence, and small daily actions How recovery evolves over time through experience, not perfection With humour, vulnerability, and brutal honesty, this episode shines a light on the internal battles that don’t disappear when the substances do—and the tools that help navigate them. If you’ve ever struggled with being present, battled your own thoughts, or wondered why you react the way you do, this one will hit home. 🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.
In this powerful episode of Addicted To Recovery, the hosts sit down with Greg, a close friend and recovering addict, to explore his journey through addiction, trauma, and long-term recovery. Greg shares how a devastating accident—shattering his heel after a fall—became a turning point in his life. With over a dozen surgeries, chronic pain, and uncertainty about his future, he was forced to slow down and fully commit to recovery. What could have been a breaking point instead became a foundation for growth, resilience, and spiritual connection. The conversation dives deep into: Navigating recovery through physical pain and injury The mental battle of uncertainty and fear Managing prescribed medication in recovery Building integrity, trust, and self-awareness The realities of long-term sobriety (not perfection, but progress) Finding purpose, peace, and connection in everyday life Greg also reflects on major life milestones in recovery, including marriage, fatherhood, and rebuilding relationships—proving that transformation is possible with commitment and support. This episode is an honest, raw, and inspiring look at what it truly means to stay clean, face life head-on, and grow into a better version of yourself.
In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts sit down with John, who returns two years after his first appearance to share what’s changed—and it’s nothing short of remarkable. Now nearly four years clean, John opens up about rebuilding his life from the ground up: becoming a full-time father, working in drug and alcohol services, and even being invited to Buckingham Palace for his contributions to the recovery community. The conversation dives deep into: Life in recovery and the reality of “life on life’s terms” Overcoming grief after losing his son and finally finding acceptance The challenges of parenting, relationships, and responsibility in sobriety Letting go of old behaviours like ego, anger, and pride The power of the 12-step program, service, and spirituality John’s story is raw, honest, and ultimately hopeful—a testament to what’s possible when someone fully surrenders and commits to change. “From crack house to Buckingham Palace in four years.” If you’re struggling, in recovery, or supporting someone who is—this episode is a must-listen.