Show Notes
Send us Fan Mail Most of us spend a lot of time worrying about things that haven't happened yet. We replay conversations, predict outcomes, and try to solve problems that may never arrive. In recovery, that kind of future-tripping can feel overwhelming because alcohol is no longer there to quiet the noise. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk about the connection between anxiety and control. They explore why the need to know how everything will turn out often creates more stress, not less, a...
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Send us Fan Mail Have you ever cared about something so much that you started to resent it? You keep showing up, taking responsibility, and doing what needs to be done. But when it feels like nobody else is putting in the same effort, something that once mattered to you can start to feel like a burden. This week on Sober Friends, Matt and Steve talk about a struggling Monday night AA meeting and the frustration that comes with trying to keep something alive. Steve shares why he feels responsi...
Send us Fan Mail Have you ever been enjoying something good, only to find yourself already worrying about when it's going to end? Maybe it's time with someone you love, a relationship that's going well, or a period in your life when things finally seem to be falling into place. Instead of enjoying what's happening, you're already preparing yourself for what you might lose. When Matt's son came home from college for the weekend, the excitement of having him home quickly turned into sadness abo...
Send us Fan Mail You had a plan for the day. Now someone needs you to drop everything, another arrangement falls through, and you’re scrambling again. At some point, one more change feels like more than you can handle. Matt shares a weekend that pushed him past his limit and how ADHD and autism affect his response to disrupted routines. Steve recognizes his own version: offering to help, then getting frustrated when it interrupts his plans. Both talk honestly about letting frustration build—a...
Send us Fan Mail What happens when you’ve stopped drinking, but your brain still wants guarantees? Matt and Steve talk about the need to research, plan, anticipate, and control what happens next — from work and money to cooking dinner and doing projects around the house. Underneath it is a harder problem: uncertainty. If you can figure everything out ahead of time, maybe you can avoid getting it wrong, wasting your time, or feeling like you failed. Recovery doesn’t make that instinct disappea...
Send us Fan Mail What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t figured out how to drink the right way? Suzanne Warye, host of The Sober Mom Life and author of The Sober Shift, joins Matt to talk about the exhausting work of trying to control alcohol, wondering whether you’re “bad enough” to quit, and realizing that you don’t need to hit someone else’s rock bottom before deciding drinking isn’t working for you. Suzanne also shares why traditional recovery language never quite fit her, how she mov...