Dopey 607: The Life and Times of a Crust Punk, Anarchist, Country, IV Tweaker -n- Junky Super Star - Benjamin Tod
Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug AddictionShow Notes
Timestamps: 01:12 — Oro Recovery 02:29 — Welcome; finally getting Benjamin Tod on Dopey 04:46 — Knicks November merch, a stiff neck, and listener mail Approximately 06:00 — Luke’s letter: dabs, concentrates, research chemicals, and cravings 09:32 — Surrender, listener stories, and Mountainside 11:46 — Eric’s voicemail: gasoline huffing in eighth grade 14:08 — “What if we put gas in the bong?” 16:30 — Dave remembers his first powerful dab experience; LICR 18:53 — Matt celebrates three years sober and remembers his intervention 21:16 — From rejecting AA to embracing recovery; Joe B Patreon comments Approximately 28:30 — Recovery Unplugged 30:37 — Benjamin Tod interview begins; happy birthday, Ben Croxton 32:57 — Songwriter first: Nashville roots and the meaning of “outlaw” 35:03 — George Jones, Waylon, and favorite autobiographies 37:29 — Growing up in Tennessee and protecting family privacy 38:25 — Childhood trauma, the streets, and early drug use 40:40 — Drinking young; how trauma shaped the path 42:23 — Nine years off the needle doesn’t mean the work is finished 44:29 — Feeling spiritually unsettled and recognizing old patterns 47:16 — Exploring step work and accepting help 49:19 — Boundaries, mentorship, and the circle of recovery 51:47 — Access to drugs as a young teenager 52:52 — Crack, temptation, and growing up evangelical 54:55 — Rebuilding faith outside the version of Christianity he inherited 57:19 — Spirituality, accountability, and wanting to be a better father 59:41 — The pain of changing when others won’t acknowledge the past 01:02:04 — Between GG Allin and Bob Dylan: Benjamin’s musical roots 01:04:27 — Books, self-education, and falling in love with crust punk 01:06:48 — Freedom, autonomy, and responsibility within the traveling scene 01:11:34 — His first train-riding mentor and meeting Abby the Spoon Lady 01:13:52 — Seeing fellow street musicians succeed; his first freight-train trip 01:16:02 — Freight-car terminology and the dangers of riding 01:18:25 — Hiding places, rough rides, and Dave’s imaginary pillow car 01:20:29 — Locomotives, railroad travel, and how rare riders actually are 01:22:50 — How surveillance and changing street culture transformed the scene 01:25:16 — The railroad worker who helped them get home 01:27:25 — Why the same journey would take longer today 01:29:13 — Nicholas Riddle, memorial tattoos, and life as a traveling addict 01:31:12 — Kicking between cities and withdrawing around migrant work 01:33:33 — First heroin experience at sixteen in Denver 01:35:48 — Trying to act normal after using heroin 01:38:23 — Scoring around the country and the misery of missed shots 01:40:38 — Why meth became his priority 01:42:57 — The illusion of control and the damage to his music 01:45:01 — A meth-fueled panic attack opening for the Devil Makes Three 01:46:59 — Capital Murder, Ben and Christian, and his first bands 01:49:02 — Why punk, country, and hip-hop belong to the folk tradition 01:50:44 — The Clash, Joe Strummer, and refusing to follow the scene 01:53:09 — Ashley leaves; a marriage buried under lies 01:55:27 — A desperate crisis and Ashley’s boundary 01:57:01 — Making I Will Rise in the middle of everything falling apart 01:59:24 — Songs as prayers; Rita the puppy and the beginning of change 02:01:49 — Clearing land, living in a camper, and rebuilding trust 02:04:14 — Alcohol blackouts, touring chaos, and deciding to stop drinking 02:05:49 — Gradual change, emotional release, and learning how to cry 02:08:08 — His approach to sobriety, setbacks, and shame 02:10:34 — Treating yourself like a friend; This or That begins 02:12:27 — Stones or Beatles, hobo or crust punk, Willie or Johnny? 02:13:19 — Fatherhood, Ashley, and wrapping up the interview 02:15:41 — Custom Stickers, sock designs, and Spotify comments 02:18:05 — Joe B feedback, Howie, and Ryan’s audio update 02:20:29 — Credits and closing thoughts 02:21:58 — Benjamin Tod: “Using Again” 02:24:23 — Young Jake from West Virginia introduces his
More from Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
Timestamps: 01:18 — Wednesday Wild Card: discovering Weezer years later 03:42 — Music, spirituality, and accepting the path you took Approximately 05:15 — Nat Kingsley’s voicemail: “Scarfy” goes looking for drugs in rehab 08:28 — The debit card, the PIN, and the heroin delivery that never arrives 10:53 — Nat gets kicked out; Dave remembers his own rehab tennis-ball incident 13:20 — Hidden needles, black tar heroin, and a sobriety anniversary shout-out 15:34 — Listener comments: Keith, Trey, relapse, and finding community 18:03 — Famous people in meetings and more reactions to Keith’s episode 20:04 — Sean Murphy interview begins 22:24 — How the Russell Brand appearance connected Sean and Dave Approximately 25:00 — My Friend Weezer and Sean’s photography career 27:17 — Photographing the Beastie Boys while falling off the wagon 29:39 — Borrowed “props,” a blackout, and almost losing the photographs 31:58 — A missed flight and Sean’s “angel of death” reputation 34:23 — Early drugs, rock ’n’ roll, and the babysitters’ stash 36:26 — Seeing the world through pictures before becoming a photographer 38:50 — An abusive father, family history, and becoming a dad 41:14 — Surfing Hawaii, stealing car stereos, and Mom going undercover 43:38 — Orlando, ecstasy, and the beginning of the rave years 45:58 — A college refund scam leads to the class that changes his life 48:10 — The darkroom moment: “This is what I’m gonna do” 50:31 — Sean’s first photograph and a teacher who sees his potential 52:50 — A chance encounter leads toward Boston 55:15 — Moving with no plan, a stolen Nikon, and photography school 57:39 — Cocaine, restaurant work, and trips to the Limelight Approximately 01:05:00 — San Francisco’s Phoenix Hotel and the early rock scene 01:08:01 — Riding a Vespa to the cocaine dealer between tables 01:10:20 — Surface magazine opens the door to shooting musicians 01:12:37 — Photographing Tricky and meeting Shane MacGowan 01:14:57 — Driving Shane through San Francisco in a battered Volkswagen 01:17:16 — Meth dealers and moving into a loft above a porn studio 01:19:38 — Daddy L, the downstairs studio, and the meth connection 01:22:01 — Photography, porn work, and unexpected friendships 01:24:26 — Heavy drinking, stimulant binges, and the move toward Los Angeles 01:26:47 — Tears for Fears and the shoot that opens up a new life 01:29:10 — Arriving in LA: palm trees, the Chateau Marmont, and career momentum 01:31:31 — Ahmet Zappa, stunt photography, and a lasting friendship 01:33:55 — Cocaine and a frightening medical episode 01:35:59 — A frantic drive to get medical help 01:38:23 — Sean recalls the conversation he used to justify switching to meth 01:40:42 — “I love you, but when you drink I fucking hate you” 01:42:42 — Arriving drunk at his first AA meeting 01:45:03 — An unexpected sponsor; early sobriety and the Slayer assignment 01:47:25 — Relapsing on vodka while waiting in Slayer’s limo 01:49:49 — Blackout driving and an arrest near his AA meeting 01:52:16 — Jail, consequences, and the aftermath Approximately 01:57:00 — Police follow Sean toward the MADtv studio 01:59:25 — Surrounded at the studio gate: a mistaken-identity stop 02:01:51 — Another police raid; marriage and family life unravel 02:03:53 — Unreliability, meth, and meeting a sober biker at a club 02:06:14 — The sponsor who won’t stop calling; frightening parenting memories 02:08:37 — Checking into treatment in Florida 02:11:01 — Weezer’s Red Album shoot and functioning through addiction 02:13:23 — A storefront home and a dangerous man in the backyard 02:15:45 — The RV guest who won’t leave 02:18:08 — Cry Help, immediate relapse, and bizarre rehab drug talk 02:20:32 — Irish Mike makes the Doctor’s Opinion finally click 02:22:54 — A sponsor with very little time offers a different way forward 02:25:07 — Plan C: the sober house that changes Sean’s life 02:27:19 — Fast step work, service, costumes, and a house full of misfits 02:29:40 — A surrender flag and the chicken story 0
Time Stamp Notes: | 00:00 | Opening music | | 01:21 | Oro Recovery | | 02:41 | Welcome, meeting Joe, and Mandy’s Tool concert voicemail | | 05:05 | Acid kicks in—and the guy beside Mandy has his penis out | | 06:25 | “You got a license for that?” / DopeyCon merch | | 08:44 | Harold’s Anchorage story: shooting meth while in heroin withdrawal | | 11:09 | Mountainside wrap-up, BetterHelp, and Patreon comments begin | | 13:29 | Betty reactions, signs from Chris, and LICR | | 15:50 | More Patreon comments: trauma, spirituality, and the missing voicemails | | 18:08 | Workit Health / Mackie’s recovery update from Montana | | 20:31 | Recovery Unplugged / transition into Joe’s interview | | 22:56 | Meet Joe Belmonte of Stronger Body, Stronger Mind | | 25:18 | How Dave and Joe connected over recovery | | 27:35 | Disclosing heroin addiction / growing up on Long Island | | 29:40 | Buying his first bong with a fake ID | | 31:53 | First high, angry music, and Papa Roach | | 34:15 | His parents’ divorce and using drugs to shut off feelings | | 39:03 | Music, working out, and escalating drug use | | 41:24 | Turning anger into intensity / paying for drugs | | 43:50 | A police officer father, Catholic school, cocaine, ecstasy, and Xanax | | 46:15 | Webster Hall all night, construction work all day | | 48:38 | Shoplifting and his first DWI | | 51:05 | Falling in love with blues | | 53:28 | Losing his license, getting kicked out, and moving in with Grandpa | | 55:51 | College, court-mandated treatment, and accepting addiction as his future | | 58:17 | Pawning music equipment / eleven years without a sober day | | 01:00:46 | Falling in love on ecstasy | | 01:03:10 | Stealing Rokus and Fire Sticks across Long Island | | 01:05:36 | A $1,500–$2,000 daily pill habit and mounting arrests | | 01:08:02 | Busted at Walmart | | 01:10:27 | Grand larceny and the introduction to heroin | | 01:12:53 | Heroin stamps, court, and the stigma of dope | | 01:15:20 | Crossing the line from pills to heroin | | 01:17:44 | Learning to inject / addiction gets darker | | 01:20:05 | Living in his car while his girlfriend stays down the block | | 01:22:27 | Family boundaries, speedballs, and stealing from friends | | 01:24:48 | His father finds an interventionist / treatment marketing discussion | | 01:27:01 | Meeting Louie: the first recovering heroin addict Joe had met | | 01:29:23 | Totaling the car he lived in / agreeing to treatment | | 01:31:51 | Pregnancy, treatment, and planning “one more run” | | 01:34:20 | The overdose, waking in the hospital, and severe leg injuries | | 01:36:42 | “Where is she?” / learning his girlfriend and their unborn baby were gone | | 01:39:07 | Uncertainty about walking again / finally accepting help | | 01:41:36 | Grieving in early recovery and returning to fitness | | 01:44:03 | Rebuilding, estrangement from her family, and relapse | | 01:46:28 | Cold copping heroin after nearly three years sober | | 01:48:54 | COVID and another relapse | | 01:51:07 | Trying to party “normally” / starting his fitness business | | 01:53:32 | The business grows while addiction returns | | 01:55:54 | Losing the relationship and getting deeply involved in recovery again | | 01:58:22 | Fatherhood, meetings, sponsorship, and training Dave | | 02:00:38 | The Tin Man / “I don’t want to overcome” | | 02:02:53 | Joe hates the Beatles / living with grief | | 02:05:14 | Introducing the new Dopey Fitness Challenge | | 02:07:26 | Burpees, consistency, and Dave’s workout complaints | | 02:09:31 | Challenge recap, interview wrap-up, and Spotify comments begin | | 02:11:59 | The Betty debate: remorse, judgment, and recovery | | 02:14:20 | More listener reactions and encouragement | | 02:16:48 | Final comments, credits, and Toodles for Chris | | 02:19:06 | Closing music |