Show Notes
When people give, they're not just transferring money. They're rehearsing a version of themselves. That insight, shared by my guest Cherian Koshy, cuts to the heart of why logical fundraising pitches so often fail, and why identity-driven communication changes everything. Cherian is the author of Neurogiving, a behavioral scientist, and one of the most original thinkers I've encountered on the question of generosity. His work applies neuroscience and behavioral science to the act of giving, and what he's uncovered reaches far beyond fundraising into every area where we try to move people. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I sit down with Cherian to unpack the science behind why people give, how identity drives every donation decision, and what organizations consistently get wrong when they treat the giving brain like a buying brain. Cherian introduces the concept of generosity decay, based on research by Dr. Katy Milkman at the Wharton School, which shows that a donor's generous impulse drops by roughly 50% within 30 to 45 days if not reinforced. He also explores how pairing identity reaffirmation with the identifiable victim effect can dramatically increase the likelihood of a second gift, and why the most important thing you can tell a donor is not "thank you for your donation" but rather "you are a generous person." What you will discover: Why the giving brain operates on fundamentally different principles than the buying brain, and how to communicate accordingly How generosity decay works, what causes it, and what to do in the critical window before it sets in Why thanking a donor for the transaction is the least effective thing you can say, and what to say instead to reaffirm their identity How compassion fatigue and psychological reactance work in the nervous system, and how to strike the balance between reality and hope in your messaging Why generosity is not just an act of giving but, as Cherian puts it, agency in action, a way humans reclaim a sense of control and meaning in uncertain times Learn more about Cherian Koshy: https://cheriankoshy.com/ Get Cherian's book, Neurogiving: https://neurogivingbook.com/ Order my new book, Inner Propaganda: https://innerpropaganda.com/ Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/
More from Inner Propaganda with Owen Fitzpatrick
Over 30 years as a therapist and executive coach, I noticed that almost every person I worked with explained their problems using one of two stories. Some saw themselves as the victim of everything happening around them. Others saw themselves as the villain, the reason everything kept falling apart. Both stories can feel completely true, and sometimes the evidence backs them up. The trouble is that the inner dictator only shows us the evidence that supports the story it wants us to believe. Each of us has been a victim, a villain, and a hero at different moments, which means we have more choice in the story we sell ourselves than we realize. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I explore the victim story and the villain story, how the inner dictator uses each one as a tactic, and how the arcs of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker show us what it looks like to move toward a hero story. I also share the five steps I have used with clients for decades to help them build a hero narrative and an antifragile identity. What you will discover: The two stories most people tell about their problems, and how to spot which one you are running Why being a villain is another way of being a victim How the inner dictator chooses evidence to make its narrative feel like fact The five As: awareness, agency, alternatives, adapt, and accept How Viktor Frankl's search for meaning and Nassim Nicholas Taleb's idea of antifragility can help you keep moving forward If you enjoyed this episode, check out my new book, Inner Propaganda, where I explore how the stories we sell to ourselves become the beliefs we buy into. It is packed with research, history, and practical tools to help you recognize your own inner propaganda and change the story. Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/ Order my book, Inner Propaganda: https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Propaganda-Leading-Through-Turbulent/dp/1646872444/
When was the last time you sat down with someone who sees the world very differently and listened to understand them? I believe the biggest problem in the world today is that we are not disagreeing effectively enough. Too often, we decide it is pointless even to try. Polarization, echo chambers, and media that amplify the most extreme voices have convinced many of us that the gap between "us" and "them" is too wide to cross. Research shows we consistently overestimate how extreme the other side is, and when we respond with shame and moral outrage, we often push people further away. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I explore why shaming backfires, what the rise of the Nazis teaches us about ignoring people's grievances, and why identity-protective cognition makes us reject views that challenge who we are. I also share a conversation with my guide in Afghanistan that tested my ability to disagree well, along with research on deep canvassing and what it reveals about how people change their minds. What you will discover: Why we overestimate how extreme the other side really is How shaming and moral outrage can create the very thing they oppose What identity-protective cognition means for every difficult conversation How the illusion of explanatory depth opens the door to more flexible thinking Why curiosity and respect give us the best chance of changing minds If you enjoyed this episode, check out my new book, Inner Propaganda. It explores how the stories we are sold by leaders, by the media, and by our own minds shape what we believe, and what it really takes to change hearts and minds in a polarized world. Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/ Order my book, Inner Propaganda: https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Propaganda-Leading-Through-Turbulent/dp/1646872444/
What if your competitors are wrestling with the same dilemma you are, and nobody is brave enough to ask? My friend Jess Pettitt, a Hall of Fame speaker and crisis advisor, believes this fear is keeping good organizations from doing better. In her new book, Doing Good Better, Jess adapts Maslow's hierarchy of needs for organizations. At the top sits outlasting the cycle: surviving recession, disruption, and crisis while staying true to your values. She argues that every mistake you have made prepares you to recognize the next one faster. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I explore with Jess why leaders fear admitting mistakes, the internal and external pressures behind that fear, and the two questions she asks leadership teams that reveal where they really stand. We also discuss the shareholder-versus-stakeholder debate, a protein loophole in the food industry, an oil refinery racing its competitors, and what it would take for AI leaders to agree on a shared off button. What you will discover: How organizations can climb their own version of Maslow's hierarchy Why past mistakes are preparation for recognizing new ones How internal and external pressure shape the decisions leaders make Why collaboration with competitors can create collective decisions that do good How to take back control of your own sense of urgency Jess' new book, Doing Good Better, is out now! I highly recommend it. Spread the word, and you can order it here: https://jesspettitt.com/doing-good-better-2/. Take Jess Pettitt's advisory survey: https://jesspettitt.com/advisory-survey Learn more about Jess: https://jesspettitt.com/ Exciting news: my brand new book, Inner Propaganda, is now available to buy in Ireland and the UK. In the book, I explore how our beliefs form, why they resist change, and how leaders can align what they do with who they are. You can now find it on https://www.amazon.ie/ and https://www.amazon.co.uk/. Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/
Whenever I feel anxious or down, a voice in my head speaks with complete authority. It tells me I'm a fraud, that I'm broken, that nothing I do matters. I call it the inner dictator, and I have named him Dick. Inner propaganda is how we convince ourselves of the ideas we hold. The stories we sell to ourselves become the beliefs we buy into, and the inner dictator is the voice that sells the darkest of them with total certainty. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I explore why recognizing the inner dictator weakens its hold, drawing on the persuasion knowledge model and my own experiences of propaganda in North Korea. I then go through the most common lines Dick uses on me, from "You're a freak" to "The world is so full of pain," and share how I talk back to each one. What you will discover: Why naming the inner dictator makes its messages less convincing How the change of meaning principle works inside your own mind Why your mood decides which evidence feels like proof Simple questions that expose the vague claims behind self-doubt How to judge a thought by its usefulness rather than its accuracy If you enjoyed this episode, check out my brand-new book, Inner Propaganda, where I explore how the stories we are sold by leaders, the media, and our own minds shape what we believe. Drawing on field research and stories from across history, it offers practical ways to take back control of your own narrative. Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/ Order my book, Inner Propaganda: https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Propaganda-Leading-Through-Turbulent/dp/1646872444/
If you have ever felt like you are not a good enough parent, partner, friend, or professional, you have met the inner dictator. It is a voice of absolute certainty that tells you the limits of your potential, and it can sabotage your chances of success. The belief "I am not good enough" is so vague and abstract that it is hard to pin down and easy to accept. It is a form of inner propaganda, a story your mind tells you to keep things simple and stable. In this episode of Inner Propaganda, I explore how to tackle this belief from every angle, drawing on my book, cognitive behavioral therapy, neurolinguistic programming, and mindfulness. I share the belief audit, a way to define what "good" and "enough" actually mean, and questions that test how much evidence sits behind the belief. What you will discover: Why "I am not good enough" is inner propaganda from the inner dictator The four questions of the belief audit How to define "good" and "enough" so the belief becomes specific and testable How to build an antifragile identity that turns mistakes into growth Questions that test how certain you really are, including rating your certainty from one to ten If you enjoyed this episode, check out my brand new book, Inner Propaganda, where I show how the stories your mind tells you take hold and share the tools you can use to challenge them. It draws on stories from history, the latest research, and everyday life to explain what leads us to believe what we do. Visit my website: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ Join my newsletter: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/newsletter/ Order my book, Inner Propaganda: https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Propaganda-Leading-Through-Turbulent/dp/1646872444/