The Terri Cole Show

860 The Father Wound–Boundary Connection Video

The Terri Cole Show

Show Notes

If setting a boundary feels like you're risking the whole relationship, your unhealed father wound might be why. When the person who was supposed to protect you didn't, you can grow up without the sense that you're even allowed to say no. In this episode, I'm walking through how the father wound shapes your boundaries, the different father archetypes and the specific boundary struggles each one creates, and why so many of us never learned we were allowed to protect ourselves in the first place. Whether your father was absent, critical, emotionally distant, abusive, unreliable, narcissistic, passive, or played favorites, those wounds can make certain boundaries especially difficult. It often comes back to the same things: learning to protect yourself, honoring your needs, and being able to disappoint other people without abandoning yourself. The best part of healing your father wound is that you don't have to keep going along to get along anymore.

Not sure if your father wound is affecting your boundaries? Get the journal prompts from this episode to uncover how your father wound may still be shaping your boundaries, relationships, and ability to say no. terricole.com/860

KEY TAKEAWAYS If your father didn't protect you, you may have learned you weren't worth protecting. That belief shapes your boundaries in adulthood. Different father archetypes create different boundary struggles: absent fathers make saying no feel like abandonment, critical fathers make you fear getting it wrong, narcissistic fathers teach you that your needs don't matter. Pleasing, being compliant, achieving to belong — these are the opposite of having healthy boundaries. They kept you safe as a child, but they're not serving you now. You'll never build the life you want if it's built on self-abandonment. You don't need your father's permission or participation to heal your father wound. This work is for you.

I wrote an entire book to walk you through this work. Pre-order Father Wound and get access to a free 3-hour virtual retreat with me. fatherwoundbook.com

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