Healing Toxic Shame: The Real Reason You Feel Not Enough

How do you know if you should leave your partner or work on the relationship? When relationship conflict keeps repeating, it can be difficult to tell whether you're with the wrong person or whether childhood trauma, emotional triggers, and unresolved attachment wounds are affecting the way you connect. In this episode of Becoming Untriggered, Lavinia and Andrew discuss how childhood trauma affects adult relationships, why partners trigger each other, and how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can create a cycle of pursuing, withdrawing, defensiveness, and recurring arguments. They also explore how your parents' relationship patterns can shape your expectations of love, why having children can intensify relationship problems, and how unresolved emotional wounds may influence the way you communicate with your partner. 🚨Important: Working on your own triggers does not mean accepting abuse or unsafe behaviour. Emotional and physical safety matter when deciding what to do next. 00:00 How to Know If You Should Leave Your Partner 03:15 Things That Intensify Relationship Conflict 08:30 Considering Separation: What It Can Reveal 15:30 How Childhood Wounds Affect Who You Choose as a Partner 20:00 How Couples Can Break the Cycle of Relationship Conflict 24:25 How Your Parents' Relationship Shaped Your Expectations 31:10 Questions to Ask Before Deciding to Separate 👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast – Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-past Andrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coaching Book a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session – 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert 📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.net https://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer

What does it really mean to be a present parent? And what does your child actually need from you to feel seen, heard, safe, and connected? In this episode of Becoming Untriggered, Lavinia and Andrew sit down with their daughter to explore respectful parenting from a child’s perspective. They talk about building a stronger relationship with your child, understanding their individual needs, what helps children feel safe enough to talk to their parents, and why presence and connection often matter more than having the “perfect” parenting strategy. Learn about parental wounds, emotional regulation, repair after parenting mistakes, and why it’s never too late to do your own inner work and become a more present, connected parent. 00:00 Respectful Parenting From a Child's Perspective 01:00 Can Parents Repair After Making Mistakes? 05:00 What Do Children and Teenagers Actually Need? 12:00 How to Understand Your Child's Emotional Needs 17:00 How to Create Emotional Safety for Your Child 26:00 Parenting Isn't One-Size-Fits-All 33:00 Is It Ever Too Late to Become a Better Parent? 36:00 Teaching Children Emotional Intelligence Through Role Modeling 👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast – Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-past Andrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coaching Book a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session – 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert 📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.net https://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer

How honest should you be in a relationship? Is honesty always the best policy, or can telling the truth sometimes create conflict, hurt or even threaten the relationship? In this episode of Becoming Untriggered, we explore whether you are showing up as the same person in every area of your life, or whether old patterns, fear of rejection and the need for safety have taught you to become someone different depending on who you're with. Should you tell your partner everything about your past? How much should you share about who you were, the things you're ashamed of, and the experiences that shaped you? And when does being honest create deeper trust and connection, versus when do you need to process something for yourself before bringing it into the relationship? 01:45 – Honesty vs. Safety: Should You Always Tell the Truth? 04:25– Should Parents Tell Their Children the Truth? 06:25 – Should Your Children Know About Your Past? 10:50 – How Childhood Trauma Affects Honesty in Relationships 13:25 – How to Build Safety and Trust in a Relationship 20:35 – Becoming Your Authentic Self Can Feel Scary 24:50 – Should You Tell Your Partner Everything About Your Past? 29:25 – Can Telling the Truth Actually Hurt Your Relationship? 👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast – Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-past Andrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coaching Book a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session – 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert 📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.net https://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer

Many people struggle with anxiety, emotional numbness, chronic stress, people-pleasing, or self-sabotage without realizing the root cause may be repressed emotions carried since childhood. Using Dr. David Hawkins' Map of Consciousness as a guide, we unpack why some emotional states keep us feeling stuck while others create greater peace, creativity, resilience, and emotional freedom. You'll learn how childhood trauma, repressed emotions, and core emotional wounds influence your nervous system, mental health, relationships, and even chronic stress. We also share practical ways to begin releasing stored emotions through conscious awareness so you can stop living from old survival patterns and move toward lasting emotional healing. 02:30 – Why Shame and Guilt Are the Most Destructive Emotions 05:25 – How Childhood Trauma Creates Lifelong Shame 08:00 – How to Release Shame and Repressed Emotions 11:15 – Understanding Apathy vs Neutrality 16:00 – Why Anger and Grief Are Necessary for Healing 20:00 – Anxiety, Fear & Childhood Trauma: What's Really Happening? 24:30 – Can Repressed Emotions Cause Physical and Mental Illness? 29:05 – How Your Emotional State Affects Parenting & Relationships 👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast – Resources: Dr. David Hawkins' Map of Consciousness: https://www.sgibinc.com/wp-content/smush-webp/2024/06/SGBI-Web-768x728.jpg.webp Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-past Andrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coaching Book a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session – 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert 📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.net https://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer

Are you raising an entitled child, or are deeper emotional wounds being triggered beneath the surface? In this episode, Lavinia and Andrew explore how childhood trauma shapes parenting and why many of our strongest reactions to our children's behavior have less to do with them and more to do with our own unresolved experiences. If you've ever felt triggered by your child's behavior, struggled with emotional regulation as a parent, or wondered how to break unhealthy family patterns, this conversation offers a compassionate and practical perspective on raising emotionally healthy children while healing yourself in the process. 01:15 – Authoritarian vs Permissive Parenting 02:10 – What Emotional Safety Really Means for Children 03:30 – Why Parents Struggle to Accept Certain Behaviors 08:20 – Childhood Trauma, Emotional Baggage & Parenting 20:00 – Why Criticism Damages Self-Worth 22:00 – Authentic Behavior vs "Bad" Behavior 26:00 – Attuned Leadership: A New Parenting Model 👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast – Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-past Andrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coaching Book a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session – 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert 📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.net https://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer