ADHD & Sleep

Why does ADHD so often stay hidden in girls until puberty, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more? Why does ADHD so often go unrecognised in girls until adolescence, why can puberty make previously manageable difficulties harder to navigate, and how can parents tell whether it’s “just hormones” or something more? In the first two-guest episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Dr Sally Cubbin, Consultant Psychiatrist and Founding Member of the UK Adult ADHD Network, alongside Gillian Johnson Shakespeare, Author, Illustrator and ADHD Coach, co-authors of the newly published Women and ADHD book. Together they explore how adolescence shapes girls’ sense of identity, their friendships, their changing bodies and the expectations they absorb about who they’re supposed to be. They discuss: 🔍 Why girls get missed: a picture built around boys, and the MOPP cluster of masking, overcompensating, perfectionism and people-pleasing As Sally puts it, “the absence of an obvious problem or an obvious difference doesn’t mean there’s an absence of ADHD.” 🌊 What puberty changes: oestrogen and dopamine, irregular cycles, disrupted sleep and developing at a different pace from friends 🏠 Fine at school, falling apart at home: why girls can appear to be coping at school but fall apart as soon as they get home 🎭 The cost of masking: how years of trying to fit in can affect identity and self-esteem leaving you feeling “invisible to oneself” 👭 Friendships, fitting in and rejection sensitivity: why finding friends you can be yourself with matters so much ⚠️ Shame and hidden risks: internalised criticism, greater vulnerability around boundaries, alcohol and disordered eating, and why assessments must consider the whole person. 💡 Diagnosis as a turning point: relief, sometimes grief, and finally an explanation. 🤝 How parents can help: keep scaffolding, swap “why isn’t the homework done” for curiosity, choose your moments to talk (such as long car journeys), co-regulate, and permission to “cope ugly”. Puberty can be a challenging time for any girl, but for girls with ADHD, it can bring additional difficulties that aren't always easy to recognise or understand. This conversation explores what parents can look out for, and how we can better support our daughters through these important years, with curiosity rather than judgement. Further resources & links Women and ADHD by Dr Sally Cubbin & Gillian Johnson Shakespeare: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Women-ADHD-Puberty-Menopause-Beyond/dp/147214982

How does growing up with undiagnosed ADHD shape your life and what happens when you finally get answers? In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Laura Mears-Reynolds, diagnosed with ADHD at 38, host of the ADHD AF podcast and founder of the ADHD AF Plus charity. Laura tells her story of shame, burnout and survival, sharing how her fierce sense of justice led her to build a grassroots movement providing real-life peer support for adults with ADHD across the UK. 🧶 The penny-drop moment: how a friend's diagnosis shattered the “naughty little boys” stereotype, prompting Laura to recognise her own ADHD traits and realise: “If you’ve got it, I’ve definitely got it”. 🔥 From chaos to “dumpster fire”: perimenopause, three-year waiting lists, escalating crises and the devastating point where Laura felt “I was done”. 💊 Diagnosis and the day after: being told she had “severe combined” ADHD and waking up the following morning with a glimmer of hope, realising, “I don’t have to hate myself today”. 👧 Childhood through an ADHD lens: constant anxiety, rejection sensitivity (RSD), insomnia and being labelled “disrespectful” for leaving GCSE coursework until the last minute, despite agonising over it all night. 🎭 Girls, masking and minimising: how gender expectations, people-pleasing and trying not to be “a nuisance” can contribute to ADHD going unrecognised in girls and women. ⚖️ Justice sensitivity and ADHD: why Laura challenges the idea that ADHD is a “superpower”, exploring how her fierce need for justice has both challenged her, and fuelled her advocacy for others. 🐆 Building ADHD AF and the Leopard Print Army: from responding to podcast DMs at 4am to creating a community through body doubling, national meet-ups and the ADHD AF Plus charity, which now provides over 17 free peer support groups across the UK. As Laura puts it, “It’s about us, by us, for us”. Laura's honesty about the challenges of living with undiagnosed ADHD, the impact of shame and the power of finding community, provides a conversation about reframing how we understand ourselves, finding hope and recognising that we don't have to navigate the ADHD journey alone. If you’ve ever felt “too much” or like you’re failing at “adulting”, this episode will help you see yourself, and your children, through a more compassionate lens. Further resources & links: ADHD AF Community Information: https://www.adhdafplus.org.uk/peersupport

How does perfectionism show up across ADHD, from childhood to adulthood, and what impact can it have on self-worth, motivation and mental health? In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by Dr. J. Russell Ramsay - a clinical psychologist, author of Once I Get Started, and co-founder of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania. Drawing on decades of clinical work and research, he explains why perfectionism is the dominant thinking pattern he sees in ADHD, how it drives challenges such as procrastination, avoidance, and emotional overwhelm - and crucially, what parents of ADHD kids can do to support them. They discuss: 🔍 What Perfectionism Really Is: the different ways it shows up in ADHD such as having “unrelenting standards” and "all‑or‑nothing thinking" 🧠 The Difference Between Front-End vs Back-End Perfectionism: needing to be “in the right mood” to start something vs not submitting work that’s “good enough” ⏳ Procrastination, Emotions & Comparison: exploring the impact of the “Frankenstein” comparison where we build a fictional impossible standard from what we see of others 👦How Perfectionism Develops in Children the impact of negative messaging, subtle criticisms like “see, you can do it!" on a “good day”, and the compounding effect of giving up quickly when things get hard 🤝 Body Doubling & Practical Workarounds: the power of using another person’s presence to get started on a task and stay on track 💪 Self-Worth, Self-Trust & Parenting Differently: the impact on children of separating their worth from performance or grades, plus the importance of noticing their effort, not just the outcomes This episode is a must-listen for parents of ADHD children with perfectionist traits. You’ll walk away with a new lens on your child’s challenges, plus concrete scripts, mindsets, and strategies to reduce shame, ease homework battles, and help your child trust themselves again. Further resources & links Find out more about Dr J Russell Ramsay: https://www.cbt4adhd.com/about/

How can understanding ADHD through a female lens, especially as a late‑diagnosed mum, change how we see ourselves and support our daughters? In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Kate Moryoussef, host of the ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast, author of The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit, and a Women’s ADHD Wellbeing Coach. Kate shares the story of her late diagnosis at 40 (alongside her then 9-year-old daughter), how ADHD showed up across her life, plus why sport, self-compassion, and the right environment can make all the difference for girls and women with ADHD. They discuss: 💡 Kate’s lockdown diagnosis: spotting ADHD traits in her daughter whilst homeschooling, being dismissed with “anxiety” by her GP, and the huge relief of receiving a “very strong combined ADHD” diagnosis. 📚 Viewing childhood through an ADHD lens: the school reports that “had it all written there”, being the “good, quiet” girl between two diagnosed ADHD brothers, the impact of masking, and how undiagnosed ADHD in girls is still missed today. 🚺 Gender and the emotional cost for women: people‑pleasing, RSD, anxiety, hormones, PMDD/PMS, postnatal struggles, and perimenopause. 🏃‍♀️ Sport, movement, and "energy in motion": why physical activity provides crucial regulation for ADHD brains, the important value for girls, plus the surprising link between ADHD and elite sport. 🏡 The neurodivergent home: trying to support ND kids while managing your own ADHD, capacity, and boundaries; plus letting go of the “perfect mum” myth. 🫶 Self‑compassion and small sustainable steps: how an ADHD diagnosis becomes an identity shift, how using this understanding can help us redesign life and model regulation for our children, plus the value of taking “little small steps each day” 🎙️ Diagnosis, curiosity, and learning: how understanding herself led Kate to create a platform that supports thousands of other late-diagnosed, mid-life women If you're learning about your child's ADHD, while quietly wondering about your own, this conversation is for you. You'll come away with language to better understand yourself, practical ideas around movement, sport and regulation, and a little more compassion for yourself as a parent. Most importantly, you'll know you're not alone. Further resources & links Listen to Kate’s podcast: ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/adhd-podcast

How do you fight for the SEND support your child is legally entitled to, within a system that’s underfunded, obstructive, and about to be reformed? In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Douglas Hamer, a specialist SEND solicitor with expertise in special educational needs and disability law, alongside his owb lived experience of ADHD and autism. Douglas specialises in EHCPs, SEND tribunals, specialist placements, EOTAS, and judicial review. They explore the ITV SEND Whistleblower Investigation, the upcoming SEND White Paper reforms, and what all this actually means for families struggling to access the support their children so desperately need. Together they discuss: 🎬 ITV Whistleblower: What Really Happened? Unpacking the allegations of Local Authority staff obstructing the EHCP process, avoiding paper trails, and “playing games” with families. 🚫 The Reality of Systemic Failure: how squeezed budgets, high staff turnover, and a “dehumanising culture” create delays, frustration and complete denial of support for so many families. ⚖️ Overwhelmed or Just Unlawful? When Local Authority behaviour crosses the legal line, and why accountability for their inaction is so weak. 🧱 The “Brick Through the Window” Moment: the importance of fighting for minority rights, and why we need more supportive MPs raising SEND issues in Parliament. 📜 Upcoming Reform: what the proposed White Paper could change in practice including EHCPs, ISPs, and Specialist Provision Packages; plus the potential impact on appeal rights and school choice. 🧭 What Parents Can Do Right Now: strategies such as maintaining a paper trail, staying calm in written communications, and why independent EP reports are so powerful. 🌱 Holding On to Hope: Douglas’s message to exhausted parents about persistence, pragmatism, and empowerment through knowledge. If you’re battling for an EHCP or school placement and feel like you’re meeting resistance getting the right support for your child, this episode will validate your experience, explain what is allegedly going on behind the scenes, and provide concrete practical steps you can use today to move the process forward for your child. Please note Douglas was in his office when this episode was recorded, so you will hear typing noises in the background. Glossary: ABAS-3 https://www.pearsonclinical.co.uk/en-gb/adaptive-behavior/Adaptive-Behaviour-Assessment-System-%7C-Third-Edition/p/P100009113