Ashley I. & Naz: An Untold Bachelor in Paradise Soulmate Story

What if the key to a more connected life isn't deeper conversations with the people closest to you, but a little more chitchat with the people you barely know? Dr. Gillian Sandstrom is an associate professor in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex. Her research focuses on the benefits of minimal social interactions with weak ties and strangers, and on the barriers that stop us from connecting with each other. She is also the author of the latest book, Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life. Dr. Miriam sits down with Dr. Gillian to take small talk far more seriously than its name suggests. Defining small talk is no small feat, and Gillian explains why even she does not love the term. They get into her small talk origin story (a hot dog stand, a cupcake on the subway, and a dad who cannot stop talking to strangers), why we are taught "don't talk to strangers" and what that costs us, and why strangers can sometimes be better confidants than the people we are closest to. You will learn why our fears about awkward silences are often bigger than the silences themselves, how to reframe rejection, and what introverts can do to cope before and during conversations. Plus, Dr. Miriam's shares a tiny habit called "social savoring," that makes everyday moments of connection count. This one is for anyone who needs a reminder that every friend you’ve ever had was once a stranger. Pull up a chair, Office Ours are in session.

What happens when your best friend's life looks nothing like yours, and you spend a decade quietly admiring (and a little bit envying) each other? Meet Today's Peas: Brendan Chamberlain Simon is the guy who, by day, operates the Mars Rover at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. By night, he makes space-inspired music under the artist name Proud Father. Nick Perloff Giles is an indie pop artist known as Wingtip, with over 1 million streams, who is now working to reshape the future of jobs, small businesses, and transportation across LA. He also hosts the Fast Forward podcast. Together, they are living proof that you can have more than one identity and find meaning and connection through all of them. Brendan and Nick met 13 years ago at a mutual friend's birthday party in New York, where one tall tale made an instant impression. They share the story of how that night turned into a friendship, a DJ duo called Teen Dad, and eventually roommates in LA. They get into what it means to be inspired by a friend (and a little bit competitive), the "inversion" that happens when each of you envies the other's path, and what they learned from watching the grass turn out to be about as green on both sides. Dr. Miriam breaks down why men often connect side by side while women connect face to face, and why we all benefit from both shared activities and meaningful conversation. Plus, what it was like to move out of the home they shared and grow into independent adults, how curiosity keeps them close, and why fulfillment is a plant that constantly needs watering.

What if the friendship questions you'd never dare ask your group chat are the ones everyone is secretly wondering about? For our very first Two Peas Q&A, Dr. Miriam is answering your questions, sent in over Instagram, email, voice messages, her Friendly Advice newsletter, and conversations at events. Whether she's talking to college students, CEOs, or healthcare leaders, the same questions keep coming up. They feel deeply personal, but they're surprisingly universal: different lives, different jobs, different ages, same friendship questions. Is there a right time to have a hard conversation with a friend? What do you do when a friendship feels stuck in a rut? How do you handle feeling left out? And what's the best way to introduce two friends you just know would hit it off? Dr. Miriam gets into all of it. Plus, a rapid-fire Snap Pea round to get to know our lovely host a little better. This one is for anyone who has a friendship question they've been too nervous to ask out loud.

What does it take to stay best friends for twenty years, across three coasts, and a loss neither of you saw coming? Meet Today's Peas: Rory O'Malley is a Tony-nominated Broadway actor known for The Book of Mormon and Hamilton, and for co-founding the marriage equality nonprofit Broadway Impact. Jenny Kanelos co-founded Broadway Impact alongside Rory and the late Gavin Creel, mobilizing thousands of artists around marriage equality, before becoming a nurse at UCLA. Rory and Jenny met twenty years ago working on Happy Days: The Musical at the Falcon Theatre, and knew almost instantly they were meant to be friends. They talk with Dr. Miriam about the vulnerable year that cemented their bond (Rory getting sober and moving cross-country, Jenny losing the grandmother who raised her), the codependency that came with leaning on each other so hard early on, and the boundaries it took to become two whole people who still choose each other. They open up about building Broadway Impact with Gavin Creel during the fight for marriage equality, about losing Gavin to cancer and what his friendship taught them both, and about how Jenny's pivot from theater to nursing changed the way Rory sees his career, his marriage and his son. It's a conversation about twenty years of showing up, on opposite coasts and through the hardest days, for the person who still gets under your skin like nobody else can. Pull up a chair. This one is for the friend who becomes family. -- Your friendship questions deserve answers. Reach out at [email protected], on social media or, pick up the phone and call or text with your friendship story or questions at 615-PODLINE (That's 615-763-5463). Stay in touch with us: @thetwopeasonapod @miriamkirmayer www.miriamkirmayer.com -- Two Peas on a Pod is hosted by Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. Executive produced by Zoe Travis, Matthew Hoffman, Katya Kaminsky, and Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. Produced and edited by Podcast Nation (Producers: Madison Brit and Alesha Pannier, Audio Engineer: Miles Carter). Original music by Sarah Walk. Created by Zoe Travis and Matthew Hoffman. Two Peas on a Pod is recorded in Montreal and Los Angeles. Cover photo by Katya Kaminsky. Today's show contains information that is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This program is not a substitute for psychological or medical advice. Please seek out your own support and research as needed. Take care, friends. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if connection didn't have to be something you reinvent from scratch every single time? Gretchen Rubin has made a career out of asking one big question: what makes us happy? She's the bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies, Life in Five Senses, and most recently, Secrets of Adulthood, with millions of copies sold in over 30 languages. She hosts the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, co-hosts the advice podcast Since You Asked, and co-founded the award-winning Happier app. In today's Office Ours, Dr. Miriam and Gretchen dig into the science of habits and why joining or starting a group might be the most important connection habit you can build. Gretchen explains why relationships sit right alongside sleep and exercise as the foundation of a happy life, and why friendship was never meant to feel easy or natural, just worth it. They talk about how a group takes the endless planning out of seeing people, why repetition and shared interests (the more niche, the better) help acquaintances become real friends, and how to break out of the cycle of avoidance and into the cycle of approach. Plus, Gretchen shares the idea of the "exit ramp," which is deciding ahead of time how you'll know something isn't for you, so you can give a new group a real try without feeling stuck in it forever.