EP 07: Getting Our Trans Kids to Tell Us What's Really Going On

As parents, we like to believe that we know our child better than anyone. Maybe better even than they know themselves. But do we really?

For some parents, that’s one of the hardest things about making sense of a child coming out as transgender. They didn’t see it coming. How could they have missed something so huge?

Most parents suspect something is going on—but they just don’t know what it is.

When we recognize that something is off with someone we love, we might ask questions like: are you okay? Is there anything going on that you want to talk about?

Sometimes our loved one will tell us: yes, there is something. But most of the time, they usually say everything’s fine and then we go about our day worrying the way only parents and people with anxiety disorders can.

Sometimes we miss it altogether. Sometimes we see it and we're too afraid to ask.

So how do we get our kids to tell us what's really going on?

Today, we’re opening Camp Wild Heart with Brave Mom, Rachel. Rachel is the mother of 15-year-old Archie. Rachel and Archie have been on this gender journey together now for a few years—and they’ve experienced high moments and low moments along the way.

There’s no one way to parent any child. As Rachel shares, there are some ways that she and Archie have written the playbook for their family. And, in some ways, she’s had to grow as a mom in the process. So, I Have A Question: This interview with Rachel will probably bring up a lot of questions for you.

In the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD., will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work.

Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician. Check out the full episode to hear about:How it’s not only okay but important to ask hard, scary questions Why you and your child need to work together to determine what the playbook for support looks like How your support playbook is specific to your family—and it might look really different from other families—and that’s OK! Find out more about Dr. Linda Hawkins PHD.: Dr. Linda Hawkins at Widener

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Additional resources: childrensnational.org