Conversation w/ Ronald Rolheiser: Restlessness, Giving Your Death Away, Dealing With Anger + the Power of Fidelity
The Intentional Fatherhood PodcastShow Notes
In this episode, we sit down with Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, one of the most trusted and influential spiritual voices of our time, and someone whose work we deeply admire and return to often. A Catholic priest, theologian, and author, Fr. Rolheiser has spent more than 50 years teaching and writing about prayer, vocation, and the interior life, helping countless people understand how God meets us in ordinary, everyday faithfulness.
Now 78 and a cancer survivor of more than a decade, Fr. Rolheiser reflects on this current stage of life and what it means to finish well. Drawing from his framework of getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, he shares wisdom shaped by experience, suffering, and surrender, reminding us that the way we die is the spirit we leave behind.
Much of the conversation centers on restlessness, particularly in midlife. Fr. Rolheiser explains that our restlessness is not something to eliminate but a sign that we are “built too big for this world.” Rather than escaping it, he invites us to listen for what God may be teaching us through it, especially as fathers learning to integrate spiritual life with ordinary responsibilities.
We also explore ideas from his book, Domestic Monastery, where daily obligations — alarm clocks, mortgages, and kids’ schedules — become monastic bells calling us to faithfulness. Parents, he says, don’t raise kids; kids raise parents. The episode closes with reflections on surrender without passivity, responsibility without control, righteous anger, and the quiet power of fidelity. His final encouragement is simple and enduring: stay with your commitments, just show up for prayer, and trust that God is at work in your staying.
Ronald Rolheiser: Website + Books (New Book: Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years)
Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA
Family Age Chart PDF Download
Scripture Mentioned: John 21:15-19, Mark 15:37 + John 4:21
Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Finding God at Home by Ernest Boyer Jr. + Naming the Whirlwind by Langdon Gilkey
Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.
Intentional Fatherhood Website
Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on Instagram
Watch + Subscribe on YouTube
Intentional: Website + Instagram
Justin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram
More from The Intentional Fatherhood Podcast
This is the episode we were nervous to record. Justin admits greed might be a blind spot, something he’s still in the middle of figuring out. So instead of teaching, we asked some revealing questions and answered them honestly.
Our Seven Deadly Sins series continues with gluttony: the desire to consume beyond what we actually need. That certainly shows up at the table, but also in our scrolling, shopping, and substance consumption. Gluttony is sneaky and easy to dismiss, and since your metabolism can hide both your sins and your virtues, it can go unnoticed for a lifetime. So this conversation is really about the heart. Are you eating to delight in God's creation, or to cope? Or a better question might be: What do you reach for when you're hurting?
As we continue our series on the seven deadly sins, we pivot to the more outward, consumptive sins: lust, greed, and gluttony, specifically focusing on lust in this episode. Pornography often comes to mind first, but it's only one of many ways lust can show up in our lives. Since most of us have heard plenty about what not to do, we start with a better question: what is sex actually for?
We don't usually call it envy. We call it "just being honest," or "I'm not jealous, I just wish things were different." But envy is sneakier than that. It's a refusal to be content with the life God actually gave us, and it shows up as comparison, insecurity, gossip, and pushing people out. This week continues the Seven Deadly Sins series with a hard look at where envy starts, why it hurts the person feeling it most, and how to fight it with the one thing strong enough to counter it: love.
Anger might be the quintessential sin of fatherhood. It's the one that shows up at bedtime, in the car, in the moment a kid won't listen for the fifth time, and it's the one our kids are most likely to watch us model and then repeat.