Show Notes
Burnout, Work Stress, and Core Emotional Needs: Starting a New Unstuck Miniseries Lisa and Tanya, psychologist best friends behind Unstuck, introduce a new burnout miniseries after losing the audio of their first recording. They discuss burnout as defined by the WHO as an occupational syndrome from unmanaged chronic workplace stress, marked by exhaustion, cynicism or mental distance, and reduced effectiveness, while noting the term is now used more broadly and overlaps with chronic stress, tiredness, and depression. They consider Natalie Dawson’s argument that hard work alone doesn’t cause burnout if purpose and reward are present, but caution this can invalidate lived experience and shift structural workplace issues into individual “resilience” judgments. They outline the Job Demands–Resources model and Maslach’s six mismatch areas (workload, control, reward, community, fairness, values), linking these to schema therapy’s core emotional needs and how unmet needs activate “lenses” and SOS coping (submit, opt out, storm in). The series will cover self-sacrifice, defectiveness/shame, and unrelenting standards, framing burnout as also driven by life demands and resources.
More from Unstuck
ABOUT UNSTUCK Unstuck is the free weekly podcast from 2 Together, hosted by Dr Tanya Petersen and Dr Lisa Corbett, two psychologists and friends of nearly thirty years. We make schema psychology accessible, so you can understand the patterns that keep you stuck and do something about them.
ABOUT UNSTUCK Unstuck is the free weekly podcast from 2 Together, hosted by Dr Tanya Petersen and Dr Lisa Corbett, two psychologists and friends of nearly thirty years. We make schema psychology accessible, so you can understand the patterns that keep you stuck and do something about them.
Burnout: The “I’ll Do It” Trap - The Self-Sacrifice Pattern and How to Break It Lisa and Tanya, two psychologist friends, continue their burnout series by exploring the “self-sacrifice lens” from schema therapy: prioritising others’ needs over your own due to childhood patterns (being the responsible child, the “good” undemanding child, or modelling a self-sacrificing parent). They describe how unmet core emotional needs at work or home (secure attachment, expressing needs, boundaries, play, autonomy/competence) can activate this lens, triggering guilt, anxiety, and resentment, and leading to burnout through coping styles “SOS”: submit (over-accommodate), opt out (detach/scroll/substances/avoid), or storm in (become demanding/controlling). They suggest practical interventions via noticing and RESET: pausing before agreeing, tolerating guilt, doing a resentment audit, practising saying no and accepting help, and recognising when toxic systems may require escalation or leaving. Next episodes cover the defectiveness and unrelenting standards lenses.
Storming In: The Coping Style That Can Hijack Relationships (Schema Therapy SOS) Psychologists and friends Lisa and Tanya explore “storming in,” a coping style in their SOS series (after “submit” and “opt out”), and how it shows up across friendships, family, and intimate relationships. They describe storming in as fighting against vulnerability—often rooted in shame, inadequacy, envy, jealousy, or fear of abandonment—by becoming controlling, demanding, or socially aggressive, ranging from competence and taking charge to boundary violations, hot-and-cold behaviour, gossiping, and, at extremes, violence and exploitation. They discuss how storming in can seem helpful by restoring power, driving action, and supporting assertiveness, but can also destroy relationships through contempt, resentment, and subjugating others. Using the “lifeguard/healthy adult” and the RESET steps, they emphasise recognising urges, slowing down, identifying underlying feelings, owning one’s “stuff,” and communicating needs directly rather than acting impulsively or punitively.
Opting Out in Friendships: When Withdrawal Protects You (and When It Keeps You Stuck) Lisa and Tanya continue their SOS coping-styles series (submit, opt out, storm in), focusing on “opting out” in friendships as a form of avoidance that provides short-term relief but can worsen problems long-term; they note it applies to any relationship. They discuss recent weeks: Tanya’s recovery from hysterectomy and oophorectomy with exhaustion and forgetfulness, and Lisa’s difficult health week with Meibomian gland issues and increased worry. Tanya describes noticing Lisa “opting out” at dinner by mentally withdrawing into rumination, and they outline physical and emotional opting out (cancelling, letting friendships drift, being superficially present, withholding, or internally dismissing). They link opting out to unmet needs like safety, autonomy, and competence, discuss triggers such as social media comparison, social anxiety vs introversion, and burnout, weigh protective benefits versus costs (unrepaired ruptures, unasserted needs), and introduce using the “lifeguard”/healthy adult and RESET (Recognise, Exhale, Slow, Explore, Take one step) to respond intentionally.