From Resentment to Reconnection: What to Do When You Start to Hate Your Child
Calm the Chaos ParentingShow Notes
Episode 44: In this raw and emotional episode of the "Calm the Chaos Parenting Podcast," we confront a deeply unsettling yet not uncommon sentiment among parents: the feeling of resentment, and even hatred, towards one's child due to extreme behaviors. Tamara shares her heart-wrenching journey from being at the brink of hopelessness, struggling with her child's dangerous behaviors, to finding a path towards understanding, healing, and reconnection. Faced with daily challenges that pushed her to the edge, Tamara's story is a raw look into the emotional turmoil that can engulf a family. This episode is an open discussion about the dark thoughts and feelings that many parents navigate in silence. We explore the transformative power of empathy, patience, and tailored strategies that honor our children's uniqueness, aiming to shift from conflict and resentment to a place of love and connection. Discover how embracing a compassionate and neuro-affirming approach can open doors to reconnection and healing, not just for the child, but for the entire family. Tamara's insights and the strategies shared in this episode offer hope and practical advice for parents feeling trapped in a cycle of frustration and despair, guiding them towards a future where they and their children can thrive together. Join us as we delve into this sensitive topic, offering light to those in the shadows of parenting's toughest moments. Key Highlights: The Weight of Resentment: Tamara opens up about the intense emotional toll of her child's behaviors, from physical aggression to disruptive actions, that led to feelings of resentment and despair. Breaking Point: The critical moment Tamara realized traditional strategies were not enough, highlighting the need for a different approach to address her child's complex needs. Breath as a Bridge: Discover how Tamara used simple breathing techniques as the first step towards regaining control, reducing meltdowns, and reconnecting with her child. Creating a Safe Space: Learn about the emergency and safety plans Tamara implemented to manage and mitigate dangerous behaviors, ensuring safety for the entire family. Empowerment Through Planning: Insights into how proactive planning and understanding her child's need for predictability led to significant behavioral improvements and reduced stress. The Power of Support: Tamara emphasizes the importance of building a supportive community, both within and outside the family, to navigate the journey from resentment to reconnection. Transformation and Hope: Reflecting on the journey from fearing her child to finding joy in their relationship, Tamara shares the profound changes in her family dynamics and personal well-being. This episode offers a raw and honest look at the challenges some parents face in raising children with extreme behaviors. It provides practical strategies, support, and hope for those feeling lost, reminding us that change is possible with understanding, patience, and the right resources. Additional Resources: 🆓7 Days to Less Chaos Workshop: Discover A New Way To Parent Even The Most Challenging Kids 7daystolesschaos.com 📚 "Calm The Chaos" Framework: Explore our comprehensive approach to managing extreme child behavior at calmthechaosbook.com. ✨ Success Stories: Be inspired by transformation stories from our community at calmthechaosworkshop.com/stories. 👉 Stay connected for more insights and support in your parenting journey: 🔹YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CalmTheChaosParenting 🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calmthechaosparenting/ 🔹 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/calmthechaosparenting Calm the Chaos Parenting is dedicated to offering parents the tools and strategies needed to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children with compassion and empathy. 🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode dedicated to fostering understanding, connection, and balance in your family life!
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Episode 57: Are you worried about your child struggling with organization, planning, and time management as the new school year approaches? In this episode, we dive into these challenges and provide practical strategies to support your child’s success. In this insightful episode, Dayna Abraham sits down with Seth Perler, an executive function coach who specializes in helping students navigate the demands of school and life. Together, they discuss why kids often feel overwhelmed by school, common challenges during the back-to-school season, and how parents can better support their children’s development. This episode is packed with practical tools and strategies to help parents foster their children’s skills with empathy and understanding. "Executive function skills are crucial for a happy, healthy, and successful future. By understanding and supporting these skills, we can better help our children thrive." - Seth Perler Key Takeaways: [00:05:00] What Executive Function Is: Seth explains what executive function is and why it’s crucial for students. [00:09:00] Common Back-to-School Challenges: Discussing common challenges kids face when going back to school, related to executive function. [00:18:00] Can't vs. Won't: Understanding the difference between "won't" and "can't" in kids' behavior and how it impacts executive function. [00:20:00] The Role of Parents: The importance of parents managing their own reactions and how to support children without doing everything for them. [00:23:00] Backing Way Up: Seth talks about the importance of breaking tasks down into micro skills and scaffolding them to build executive function. [00:28:00] Practical Tools: Practical steps and tools parents can take to help their children build executive function skills. [00:30:00] Relationship and Attachment: The importance of relationship and attachment in helping children with executive function struggles. [00:34:00] Asking for Help: Encouragement for parents to seek help and resources to support their children’s development. [00:36:00] Final Advice: Seth’s message to parents: focus on doing the deep inner work and view parenting as a continuous study. Additional Resources: Seth Perler's Website: Discover more about Seth's work and resources to support executive function skills. Executive Function Summit: Join the summit for in-depth insights and strategies from top experts. Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you. Free Parenting Style Quiz: 📝 Take this FREE quiz to discover which of 4 different parenting styles you have. Remember, you’ve got this! 👉 Check out my Social: YouTube: Calm the Chaos Parenting Instagram: Calm the Chaos Parenting Facebook: Calm the Chaos Parenting "Calm the Chaos Parenting" is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children. 🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode! calmthechaospodcast.com
Episode 56: Are you struggling to understand why your child exhibits big behaviors like yelling, hitting, or biting? In this episode, we uncover the reasons behind these actions and provide practical strategies to help you navigate them. In this insightful episode, Dayna Abraham sits down with Krysten Taprell, a psychologist with over 20 years of experience and author of "Guidance from the Therapist Parent." Together, they discuss the normalcy of big behaviors in children, what these behaviors communicate, and how parents can better manage their own reactions to support their children effectively. This episode is packed with practical tools and strategies to help parents navigate challenging behaviors with understanding and compassion. "When we recognize that big behaviors are a form of communication, we can better support our children through their most challenging moments." - Krysten Taprell Key Takeaways: [00:00:00] Understanding Big Behaviors: Big behaviors like yelling, hitting, and biting are normal and communicate a child's inability to cope with overwhelming situations. [00:02:00] Krysten's Background: Krysten shares her journey as a psychologist and the inspiration behind her book. [00:04:00] Misconceptions About Big Behaviors: Addressing common misconceptions and helping parents understand the root causes of challenging behaviors. [00:06:00] Managing Parental Triggers: Importance of parents managing their own reactions and triggers to help their children effectively. [00:09:00] Tools for Staying Calm: Practical tools for parents to remain calm, including breathing techniques and self-reflection. [00:11:00] Building Connection: Strategies for building a strong connection with children, even after challenging behaviors. [00:16:00] Handling Behaviors in the Moment: Tips for managing big behaviors in real-time and the importance of taking breaks. [00:18:00] Setting Boundaries: How to set and enforce boundaries while maintaining a compassionate approach. [00:20:00] Practical Tools from the Book: Exercises and tools from Krysten's book to help children manage anxiety and big emotions. [00:22:00] Final Advice: Krysten's message to parents: your child is doing the best they can, and so are you. Additional Resources: Guidance from the Therapist Parent: Discover practical tools and strategies from Krysten Taprell's book to help navigate big behaviors in children. Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode, one baby step at a time? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you. Free Parenting Style Quiz: 📝 Take this FREE quiz to discover which of 4 different parenting styles you have Remember, you’ve got this! 👉 Check out my Social: YouTube: Calm the Chaos Parenting Instagram: Calm the Chaos Parenting Facebook: Calm the Chaos Parenting "Calm the Chaos Parenting" is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children. 🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode! calmthechaospodcast.com Remember, you’ve got this!
Episode 55: In this episode, Dayna Abraham chats with Julie Redmond, host of the Mom Made Plans podcast. Julie shares her journey from feeling overwhelmed to creating non-negotiables that help her navigate motherhood with more ease. They discuss the importance of identifying personal needs, practical strategies to make time for yourself, and how these changes can positively impact your parenting. Key Takeaways: Identifying Survival Mode (00:01:00): Julie shares her experiences with twins in the NICU and the realization of living in survival mode. She emphasizes the importance of savoring moments despite the chaos. Gradual Changes Over Time (00:03:00): Discussion on how small, incremental changes and consistent efforts can lead to significant improvements in parenting and self-care. Understanding Non-Negotiables (00:05:00): The concept of non-negotiables and why it’s crucial to determine and prioritize a few core needs that recharge you. Balancing Needs with Parenting (00:09:00): Practical tips for reconciling personal needs with the demands of parenting, especially when dealing with challenging behaviors. Practical Strategies and Habit Stacking (00:12:00): How to integrate self-care into daily routines through habit stacking and creative scheduling. Setting Realistic Expectations (00:18:00): Adjusting expectations to make non-negotiables achievable and avoiding perfectionism. Empathy and Awareness (00:21:00): Using self-awareness to better understand and meet the needs of your children, fostering a more empathetic approach to parenting. Additional Resources: Mom Made Plans Podcast: Listen to more practical tips and strategies for easier mom life. Calm the Chaos Book: Need help getting out of survival mode, one baby step at a time? Grab a copy of the roadmap designed for you. Calm the Chaos Program: Want more support and hand-holding as you reclaim your energy and create more space for you and your family? Join us in our Full Program (only open twice a year) Remember, you’ve got this! 👉 Check out my Social: YouTube: Calm the Chaos Parenting Instagram: Calm the Chaos Parenting Facebook: Calm the Chaos Parenting "Calm the Chaos Parenting" is a podcast offering parents practical tools and strategies to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent children. 🎧 Follow us on your favorite platform so you never miss an episode! calmthechaospodcast.com
EPISODE 54: In this episode, Dayna Abraham chats with Gwenna Laithland, the hilarious and insightful author of Momma Cusses and TikTok sensation. Gwenna shares her personal journey from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated to becoming a responsive parenting advocate. They discuss the realities of parenting, the importance of handling big emotions, and practical strategies to improve parent-child relationships—all while keeping your sense of humor. Key Takeaways: Gwenna's Turning Point (00:00:00): Gwenna shares a powerful and relatable story about a moment of realization that led her to change her parenting approach. She discusses her transformative moment and the search for relatable resources that helped her along the way. Navigating Early Parenting and Survival Mode (00:02:00): Gwenna discusses her initial years as a parent, dealing with survival mode, and the challenges of having a newborn, highlighting how she managed those early struggles. Mindset Shifts (00:12:00): The importance of moving past labels like "gentle parenting" and embracing a style that fits your family's unique needs, and how these mindset shifts can transform your parenting approach. Handling Big Emotions (00:18:00): Gwenna explains the Big Feels Loop De Loop, a method for recognizing, regulating, and reasoning through big emotions. She provides practical tips for handling these big emotions effectively. Co-Regulation and Personal Strategies (00:22:00): Various co-regulation techniques and personal stories that illustrate practical applications, demonstrating how to help children manage their emotions through co-regulation. Critiquing Traditional Advice (00:29:00): Gwenna addresses common criticisms and misconceptions about modern parenting techniques with her trademark humor, offering a fresh perspective on traditional advice.
Episode #53: In this heartfelt episode, Dayna sits down with Joann, the founder of No Guilt Mom, to delve into the pervasive issue of mom guilt. Together, they explore where this guilt comes from, why it affects so many mothers, and most importantly, how to overcome it. Joann shares her personal journey from feeling overwhelmed and guilt-ridden to finding balance and joy in motherhood. This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you release guilt and step into your power as a mom. "When we're able to release the mom guilt, we can step more into our power as women and make such a change in the world." - Joann Key Takeaways: [00:00:00] Joann's Background: Joann discusses her upbringing and how she initially viewed motherhood based on her parents' sacrifices. [00:01:00] Introduction by Dayna: Dayna introduces Joann and the topic of mom guilt, highlighting the common struggle of balancing self-care with parenting duties. [00:02:00] Joann's Story: Joann shares her career journey from TV and film to becoming a teacher and eventually founding No Guilt Mom. [00:04:00] The Root of Mom Guilt: Joann explains how societal expectations and personal upbringing contribute to mom guilt. [00:06:00] Breaking Free from Guilt: Joann's experience with postpartum depression and how therapy helped her release unrealistic expectations. [00:08:00] Impact on Children: The importance of demonstrating self-care to children and breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice. [00:10:00] Recognizing Triggers: Identifying the thoughts and stories that lead to feelings of guilt. [00:14:00] Holding Boundaries: Joann shares a personal story about holding boundaries with her daughter and managing guilt. [00:17:00] Embracing Discomfort: How to sit with uncomfortable emotions and let them pass. [00:23:00] Connection Without Guilt: Redefining what it means to connect with your kids and the power of micro-moments. [00:30:00] The Role of Self-Care: Why prioritizing your own needs is crucial for both you and your children. [00:38:00] Practical Steps: Joann’s journaling techniques to understand and manage guilt, and how self-compassion can transform your parenting experience. [00:42:00] Final Advice: Joann’s powerful message to mothers struggling with guilt.