Should I Keep My Chastity Streak?, Why Does Virginity Sound Holier Than My Marriage?, and Is Sex Okay When We Feel Maxed Out? | ACW395

This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascension’s Alto!

Questions answered this episode: I have four kids, ages 10 and under. We as humans are made body and soul, and our bodies are made to express loving connections to one another. I lean towards gentle parenting—hugging my kids often and holding their hands when they fall asleep. Sometimes I feel guilty because there isn't enough of me to go around. I feel like the older ones should need less physical touch as they grow up, yet they still yearn for it. I don't want to baby my kids, but I don't want to shun them. How can I parent in a way that balances how we are made, body and soul? In the last two years, I've had a deep crisis trying to return to Christ after living in sin. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I believe in Catholic Church teachings and marriage, but I feel stripped away from this beauty. This thorn in my flesh forbids me from waiting for someone God will send. Priests choose celibacy, but my other choice feels like hell. Can you understand my pain? It brings anger toward God and difficulty trusting Him. Hearing about the theology of the body feels like a knife crossing my heart. What answer exists for pain so big and misunderstood as disobedience? I've embraced being single as a gift from God for years. After recent events in my life, I thought I would be called to single life for another few years and was very excited. However, I've just met someone I feel a strong pull to and peace about dating. I love being single and have trouble giving it up. I believe this man is a gift from God, but am I allowed to remain single if I wish? How do you have the courage to say yes to dating for marriage? What are some benefits of marriage?

Questions answered this episode: My mom is going to design the glass windows of a church dedicated to the Sacred Heart. Can you explain the theology of the Sacred Heart of Jesus? I'm in my late 20s, married with two young kids, and grew up with 10 siblings. My mom was very worn out, their marriage suffered, and they were not able to be there for me. I've forgiven my parents and appreciate their generosity, but my own births and pregnancies have been hard. Isn't it better for my family and community if I'm thriving as a person and present to others? I would really like one or two more babies, but to see a loose end date for this intense, demanding period of my life. Is that okay, or is it selfish to put my health and well-being over potential children? I am older than my boyfriend, 1.4 years to be exact, and we're taking discernment seriously, having been dating almost two years. My being older has caused tension. My boyfriend's parents did not have a healthy Catholic marriage, and his mother is older than his father; I feel like he's projecting that relationship on ours. Though I am in engineering, my dream is to be a full-time homeschool mom should we get married. A priest recently asked my boyfriend, "How can you expect her to submit to your leadership when she's older than you?" Now that comment is causing my boyfriend reluctance and doubt.

Questions answered this episode: Learning to see the world through TOB lenses has given me such clarity and rest. My question today is about holiness. Could you explain what holiness actually is? I come from a Protestant background, and growing up, the word holy was reserved for God alone. It seemed using that word to describe other people, like Mary and the saints, in some way was an attempt to put them on the same level as God. Could you help me understand what it means to call someone holy and how that differs from God's holiness? I'm a 35-year-old woman. I'm single and really have no prospects for dating. I have a fear that I'm running out of time to have children. This makes me very sad. Any advice for having trust in the Lord's plan for my life? How does one separate a priest from Christ and from the graces we receive through the priest? When I have received a grace through a priest, I've found something in me grasping. I am happily married and love the priesthood, but on one level, it moves me to a greater love for our Eucharistic Lord, while on the other hand, there's perhaps something disordered in me that clings to the priest. This is further complicated by an experience where I wounded a priest due to lack of discretion. Now, when I have experiences of grace linked to a priest, I spend too much time examining my motivations and fearing self-deception, hoping you might shine some light.

Questions answered this episode: I have a little girl, about 5 months old, and I was visiting a friend with a baby boy the same age. While visiting and playing with our babies, we both at one point pretended to eat our babies' feet, cheeks, and legs, and were talking about how we just wanted to eat them. And we really meant it! Obviously, we don't want to do our babies harm, but there is something in us that just wants to eat them. What is that desire? I'm a devout practicing Catholic, conflicted over contraception in marriage. We have three children already, yet the idea to continue to have more children because church teaching is contraception is not allowed makes me feel like there's a gun to my head. I despise the idea of sinning against God using contraception, yet to continue to have children would leave us in financial ruin and reduce how much time my wife and I can spend with each child. Simple abstinence doesn't make sense to me within marriage, and natural family planning doesn't necessarily work without a regular period. Clearly, most Catholics must be using contraception. I am so conflicted. Please help. How do marital union and climax give us a glimpse of heaven and eternal ecstasy with God? How do single people experience this foretaste of the feast to come? Are we SOL?