What AuDHD Masking Feels Like in My Body

Do you ever feel that wave of avoidance with your ADHD, even with the things you genuinely want to do? Or, if something doesn't have a clear direction or maybe there are too many steps or it just isn't a rewarding task -- is it hard for you to start? I know these are some of the issues I struggle with when faced with getting started on many projects. It's known as having trouble with task initiation. If you’re a regular listener, you might remember an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women on the feed recently. Well, today I am excited to share another! It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today. The episode I’m about to play for you is about ADHD and avoidance. Dr. Monica Johnson, also known as Dr. J, helps us identify why our executive function has so much trouble with task initiation and why our ADHD does this. This is another episode that just shows why I love Understood.org so much. Dr. J offers up very accessible explanation about the "why" behind our ADHD and then moves right into what we can do when the avoidance happens. I know for me the avoidance can hit hard and it feels like trying to run fast but I'm stuck in slow motion. This episode is so incredibly helpful and also covers the emotional impact of how this affects us. For more episodes, search for “THE ADHD CHANNEL FOR WOMEN” in your podcast app or click here for more: https://lnk.to/adhdchannelforwomenFD!theaudhdboss

We’re doing something a little different today. I’m sharing an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women. It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today. The episode I’m about to play for you is called, “ADHD and living up to potential.”

If you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan—or think one might be coming—you may be wondering whether it's actually a chance to improve or whether your company has already decided it's time for you to go. In this episode, I talk with Vicki Yang, a fractional people leader with more than 20 years of HR experience, about what Performance Improvement Plans, or PiPs, are supposed to do, what they may mean for your job, and whether it's possible to come back from one. We talk about what can make a PiP more recoverable, warning signs that performance concerns may be escalating, what to know when you're asked to sign a PiP, and what to consider once you've been placed on one. We also dig into the experience of autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD employees—including vague expectations, unclear feedback, documentation, workplace accommodations, and the communication breakdowns that can happen long before someone reaches a PIP. Vicki also shares what managers can do differently, including giving clearer feedback, explaining what expectations actually look like, checking for understanding, and addressing problems before they reach the point of a formal performance plan. This conversation is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. Employment laws vary by location, and workplace policies and individual circumstances differ. For more information about Vicki: https://www.victoriayang.com/

Can you take a special interest or hyperfixation and turn it into a job? I never intended to become a vice president. It happened accidentally. When I look back at my career—from video production and broadcast journalism to social media, podcasting, publishing, leadership, and the work I do now—I can see how one interest kept leading to another. In this episode, I talk about how I used transferable skills to move from one kind of work into another, and how breaking down the things you do around a hobby, special interest, or hyperfixation can help you identify skills you may be able to use on a résumé, in a cover letter, or during an interview. I also talk about how discovering that I'm autistic and ADHD helped me understand my own career differently: the hyperfixations, the monotropism, and why I needed work that interested me and gave me energy. Because when you break an interest down into the individual things you're actually doing, you may find skills you can take with you into other kinds of work. Skills are skills. Check out the Drains and Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook

My AuDHD masked persona helped me succeed at work. The problem is, the more successful that persona became, the more I leaned into it—and now I’m trying to figure out how to let it go. In this episode, I talk about autistic and ADHD masking, the different personas I’ve created throughout my life, and how one of the strongest became my workplace persona. I look back at how I learned the language of corporate leadership, why that persona worked so well for me, what happened when my work and personal personas collided, and why it can be so hard for me to turn the work version of myself off. I also talk about growing up and adopting different personas long before I understood masking, my connection to Jim Carrey and The Mask, the difficulty of work social events, burnout, unmasking, and the question I keep coming back to: Did the same masking that helped me succeed also hold me back? At the same time, I still need masking. For me, it can be protective. So this isn’t about simply taking the mask off. It’s about trying to figure out the balance between safety, success, and getting closer to my authentic voice. If you’re autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD and have ever felt like you became a different version of yourself at work, I’d love to know if this feels familiar. You can also find my AuDHD Workplace Workbook, coaching, speaking, consulting, and more at: AuDHDBoss.com