The Friends We Make In Grief

When Nina's mom, Shawn, was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, everything changed - and rapidly. Nina, who was in her mid-twenties, stepped into a caregiver role, learning to navigate medical appointments, medications, and the realities of her mom's declining health while also trying to deepen their connection. In this conversation, Nina reflects on how facing the reality of her mom's death brought them closer, allowing some of the barriers in their mother-daughter relationship to come down. As Shawn's ability to speak diminished, Nina discovered that connection doesn't always require words. They shared time, music, and even moments of laughter. Nina also talks about the unpredictable nature of grief, the unexpected moments that bring her mom to mind, and the signs that help her feel connected, from a perfectly timed collection of soup photos to bald eagles appearing in unexpected places. A year and a half after losing her mom, Nina has learned that grief doesn't simply vanish - but neither does joy. To learn more about Dougy Center's peer grief support groups for young adults, visit www.dougy.org

From an early age, Ami Baio was curious about death and grief. As a game designer and the creator of Pink Tiger Games, she eventually turned that curiosity into Proof of Life, a conversational game about death, grief, and talking about what matters most to the people in our lives. In a professional and personal overlap, as Ami was finishing the game, her father was dying of cancer. Ami's relationship with her dad had changed dramatically over the course of her life. After her parents divorced when she was five, she and her father became separated from each other, and their relationship was complicated for many years. In 2010, Ami reached out to apologize for the distance she had created between them and to acknowledge the effort and love her father had put into their relationship. Years later, her father offered an apology of his own. When he became ill, Ami and her siblings found themselves navigating the uncertainty of his cancer diagnosis while her dad remained determined to live. Conversations about death were difficult, but Proof of Life eventually gave the family another way to talk, laugh, remember, and connect. Ami also shares what it was like to be with her dad when he died, the playlist he created for his own funeral, the waves of grief that followed, and the unexpected ways music, memories, humor, and even dancing have helped her stay connected to him. In this episode, we talk about: Two powerful apologies between Ami and her father Making Proof of Life while her dad was dying Using a game to open conversations that were otherwise difficult to have Being with her dad in the final days and at the moment of his death The playlist her dad created and the role music played in his final days The waves of grief that followed his death Finding room for joy, silliness, and fun in the midst of grief Staying curious about the people we love — even when we've known them our whole lives Ami Baio is the creator of Pink Tiger Games, which makes conversational games designed to bring people together through curiosity, connection, humor, and reflection. Follow on IG - https://www.instagram.com/pinktigergames/?hl=en

In this episode, we talk with Kelly and Miguel Cervantes about their daughter Adelaide, who lived with epilepsy and complex medical needs. Kelly and Miguel share what it was like to parent a child who couldn't speak or move but who still made her preferences known – including smacking her brother when she was done playing and loving anything by Frank Sinatra. They talk about the very different roles they occupied during Adelaide's life: Kelly as a full-time caregiver who became fluent in her daughter's medical world, and Miguel, who moved in and out of that world while performing eight shows a week as Alexander Hamilton in Chicago.

Sometimes grief and how it shows up is obvious. Other times we might not recognize our experience as grief until something shifts our perspective. This was true for Juniper Wong, MSW, LICSW, a therapist who specializes in supporting those who are grieving through self-compassion, mindfulness, somatic experiencing, and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Juniper shares how caring for her father during the final weeks of his life changed her understanding of grief, sparking a recognition of how much of her own life had been shaped by the loss and grief passed down her family line. Becoming a mother led Juniper to see connections between her own fears and those of the women in her family line, fears that were rooted in loss. She describes using meditation, movement, writing, and even imagined conversations with ancestors as ways of making sense of what she was carrying. All of these personal experiences with grief inform the work Juniper does to help others name and work with their grief - including Happy Hour for Sad People, a monthly gathering through Grounded Grief in Portland, Oregon, where laughter, dark humor, tears, and connection can coexist. We Discuss: Recognizing how grief often underlies other challenges like anxiety and depression How caring for a dying parent can transform a relationship The grief that can surface when someone no longer has the energy to keep it buried Ancestral grief and the losses we may carry without knowing their origins Ambiguous loss and "the loss that doesn't get a funeral" How pregnancy and motherhood opened up a new understanding of family grief Rituals for staying connected to people who have died Making room for laughter and dark humor alongside grief Creating less traditional spaces for people to gather around loss Follow Juniper on IG - https://www.instagram.com/iamjuniperwong Substack - https://substack.com/@juniperwong Grounded Grief - https://www.groundedgrief.com/

When Frank Flores's younger brother Marcelo died suddenly at 23, Frank found himself in an unfamiliar role: identifying his brother's body, navigating paperwork, and figuring out how to bring him home to the U.S. from Mexico. There was little room for grief. Instead, Frank went back to work - and then worked even more. Five years later, Frank's father died during COVID. Once again, grief was crowded out by the bureaucracy of death: bank accounts, debts, paperwork, family responsibilities, and the messy, exhausting task of untangling a life after death. Frank describes this as a "mountain of paperwork stacked on top of our grief." It took years for Frank to recognize how staying busy prevented him from being with his grief. That realization eventually became part of the inspiration for FamiliaLista, a bilingual resource designed to help people organize the information family members need if someone becomes unable to speak for themselves—or after they die. In this conversation, Frank talks about the deaths of his brother and father, the pressure he felt to be strong for his family, cultural discomfort with talking about death, and how he's making more space for grief. He also shares his hope that preparing for death can be understood not as morbid or inviting death, but as an act of love. We Discuss: Frank's relationship with his father and younger brother, Marcelo Being responsible for identifying his brother's body and bringing him home The logistical work that can accompany sudden death The different experiences of an unexpected death and an anticipated death The pressure to be strong and "fix" things for other family members How grief can change and evolve over many years Cultural beliefs and taboos around talking about death The importance of preparing for the practical realities of death Frank's creation of FamiliaLista as a way to help families navigate those realities Reframing end-of-life preparation as an act of love Follow FamiliaLista on IG - https://www.instagram.com/familia.lista