Show Notes
In this episode of Conversations with Kristi, Kristi is joined by Damian Porter, also known as The How Not To Die Guy, for a powerful, practical conversation about situational awareness, self-protection, bravery, and what it really means to prepare for unsafe situations.
With a background in the New Zealand Army, including Special Forces, policing in Western Australia, and over 15 years as a firefighter, Damian brings lived experience from high-risk environments - but what stands out most is his grounded, teachable approach to helping everyday people stay safer.
This is not a fear-based conversation. It’s a preparation-based one.
Kristi and Damian unpack why most people freeze in dangerous situations, how practice changes reaction time, and why “hypervigilance” isn’t the goal - awareness is. They explore how violence often arrives as a surprise, why ego can escalate risk, and how simple behavioural shifts - like using your voice, creating distance, or taking early action - can interrupt harm.
The episode also bridges their shared work in child safety and prevention. They discuss:
Teaching children to recognise unsafe behaviour
Practicing “emergency no” and using your voice
The power of situational awareness in everyday settings
How offenders rely on silence, compliance, and disbelief
Why most perpetrators avoid resistance and exposure
How bravery is a choice - not a personality trait
Damian shares practical frameworks for handling threats, from verbal deterrence to physical self-defence, while Kristi connects those principles to child protection, early warning signs, and empowering families.
Together, they reinforce a simple truth:
Preparation reduces panic. Practice reduces freezing. Bravery is chosen in seconds.
This episode is about building files in your brain - so if something ever feels “off,” you already know your next step.
Key Themes Covered
Situational awareness without hypervigilance
Why violence is often unexpected
The biology of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
Practicing responses before you need them
Using your voice as a deterrent
Creating distance and changing positioning
When force is legally justified - and when it isn’t
Staying alive, staying out of jail, and managing aftermath
Teaching children about safe and unsafe people
Domestic violence safety planning
Why ego escalates risk
Choosing bravery in critical moments
Why This Conversation Matters
Many people walk through life believing, “It won’t happen to me.”
But safety is not about paranoia - it’s about preparation.
Children benefit when adults model awareness and confident boundary-setting. Families are safer when they’ve had conversations about what to do if something feels wrong. Adults are more capable when they’ve mentally rehearsed scenarios before they occur.
This episode reminds us that:
You don’t have to live in fear. But you do need a plan.
And bravery isn’t about being fearless - it’s about choosing action when it counts.
About Damian Porter – The How Not To Die Guy
Damian Porter is a former New Zealand Special Forces soldier, police officer, firefighter, and long-time instructor in practical self-protection.
Through his platform, How Not To Die Guy, Damian teaches everyday people - including women, elderly individuals, parents, and children - how to:
Avoid dangerous situations
Recognise early warning signs
Use verbal deterrence effectively
Protect themselves when necessary
Understand legal considerations around force
His mission is simple: teach good people how to handle bad situations.
🔗 Website: 👉 https://www.hownottodieguy.com
📱 Instagram: 👉 @hownottodieguy
Damian responds personally to messages and inquiries.
Practical Support & Resources
If this episode has raised questions about child safety, boundary setting, prevention, or building safer family environments, Kristi offers trauma-informed education and practical tools for parents and carers.
🔗 Explore education and resources: 👉 www.kristim
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