Show Notes
Today's guest is... me. At a young age, I learned that I was loved for what I did, not for who I am. For the vast majority of my life, I've been driven by not being enough, always working to validate my existence and prove my worth through something external. That program gave me accomplishments I once only dreamed of. But nothing on the inside ever quite filled up. You have that inner critic too. And if you're like me, at some point in your journey, after trying to fill the emptiness inside with something outside yourself, you get tired of living this way and want to change. But you're scared to, because the old wiring is strong, and some part of you believes that letting go of it means losing your drive, becoming stagnant, going soft. In this episode, I make the case for how you can win without hating yourself by changing, or even letting go of, the inner critic you built to protect yourself, the one that once served you well, but that you've started to question today. Expect to learn how the inner critic forms, why accepting him matters more than fighting him, how to shift your relationship from judge to playful coach, the power of giving him a name, why laughing at him is the final boss of this journey, the difference between self-critiscism and self-reflection, why shame isn't helpful, how self-compassion actually increases motivation rather than killing it, and why loving yourself on the way to something great means you don't have to choose between the two. Through my own story, and the 300+ people I've coached through the same shift, you'll walk away with real insight and real tools for how to win, without hating yourself along the way. Enjoy. Get a 140-page workbook with evidence-informed tools that will make your life instantly better https://usa.beggiolafs.com/subscribe Get Unlock, the conversational cards that transform connections: https://shop.lydia.so/products/unlock Learn more about Dr. Olafsson's story and work: https://usa.beggiolafs.com/ Get in touch in the comments or head to: Instagram: thedrolafssonpodcast Email: [email protected]
More from The Dr. Olafsson Podcast
Richard Ryan is a professor at the Institute for Positive Psychology and Education at the Australian Catholic University, a clinical psychologist, and one of the most cited scientists in the world. Have you ever achieved something, only to realize it wasn't really yours or something you even wanted to keep doing? According to Richard, you might have been driven by introjected regulation: inadequacy, shame, or fear dressed up as ambition. That kind of controlled motivation can absolutely make you successful. But there's a better one - autonomous motivation - that makes you successful and fulfilled. Expect to learn the three universal psychological needs that make you thrive, how to support the autonomy of the people in your life, and why it's essential for their motivation, success, and well-being, why you don't have to be driven by shame or lack to become successful, the real cost of performing your life instead of living it, what's quietly wrong with optimization culture, the type of motivation that best predicts both short- and long-term success and well-being; why the popular advice to "f*ck motivation, just be disciplined" gets it wrong and much more. Get a 140-page workbook with evidence-informed tools that will make your life instantly better https://usa.beggiolafs.com/subscribe Get Unlock, the conversational cards that transform connections: https://shop.lydia.so/products/unlock Learn more about Dr. Olafsson's story and work: https://usa.beggiolafs.com/ Get in touch in the comments or head to: Instagram: thedrolafssonpodcast Email: [email protected]
Cory Richards is a keynote speaker, former professional athlete, and author. You hear all the time about reinventing yourself. What if that's not about becoming someone new, but becoming more of who you really are, underneath the fear, the old programming, and the stories you tell yourself? Expect to learn why you should stop lying to yourself and others, how to build a purpose beyond your job title, how relieving your secrets destroys shame, how to be honest without being a dick, how to deal with feeling not good enough, how to feel your emotions authentically without letting them consume you, the skill of authoring the story of your life, why you should choose a partner that feels like home, how to close one chapter of your story to write the next, and much more. Get a 140-page workbook with evidence-informed tools that will make your life instantly better https://usa.beggiolafs.com/subscribe Get Unlock, the conversational cards that transform connections: https://shop.lydia.so/products/unlock Learn more about Dr. Olafsson's story and work: https://usa.beggiolafs.com/ Get in touch in the comments or head to: Instagram: thedrolafssonpodcast Email: [email protected]
Blaine Anderson is a dating coach and matchmaker. Being in love and being loved is arguably the best feeling in the world. But finding that one person seems to be a complex task. And is it even about finding - or simply becoming someone worth choosing? Expect to learn the most common mistakes men make when looking for a partner, why you shouldn't wait to build your life or pursue your goals just because you're single, why you should skip the dating apps and get out of the house, why you should become more interesting, how to approach women, what women actually want in a man, what men seek in women that they shouldn't, how to know if someone is interested in you, when to grit and when to quit when pursuing someone, whether vulnerability is fluff or a strength, how women can increase their likelihood of getting approached, when to ask the big questions while dating, what contributes to a successful long-term relationship, and much more. Get a 140-page workbook with evidence-informed tools that will make your life instantly better https://usa.beggiolafs.com/subscribe Get Unlock, the conversational cards that transform connections: https://shop.lydia.so/products/unlock Learn more about Dr. Olafsson's story and work: https://usa.beggiolafs.com/ Get in touch in the comments or head to: Instagram: thedrolafssonpodcast Email: [email protected]
Today's guest is... me. You never really know someone until you know their story - here is mine, from being a football player in Iceland to a psychologist in Los Angeles, and everything in between. It's been a wild journey, to say the least. When I was about 27, I secretly wished for a harder life, where I got tested. I learned that you should be careful about what you wish for, since by far the toughest years of my life were when I stopped playing football, left an 8-year relationship, lost a family member, and left my whole life, packed my bags, and moved to LA. Expect to learn why I stopped playing football, why my relationship ended, how it felt leaving everything in Iceland and starting from scratch, how it feels when life doesn't make sense, the role of resilience in hardships, the road less traveled, the pain of authenticity, how I've consistently turned my pain points into my purpose, and much more. Get a 140-page workbook with evidence-informed tools that will make your life instantly better https://usa.beggiolafs.com/subscribe Get Unlock, the conversational cards that transform connections: https://shop.lydia.so/products/unlock Learn more about Dr. Olafsson's story and work: https://usa.beggiolafs.com/ Get in touch in the comments or head to: Instagram: thedrolafssonpodcast Email: [email protected]
Dr. Nicholas Epley, PhD, is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago and a leading expert on the science of social connection. Social connection is vital to our happiness, health, and meaning. And many of our best connections first start with a conversation with someone who once was a stranger. What if your fear and pessimism are preventing you from not only feeling better, but possibly meeting your future best friend, business partner, or wife? Expect to learn why talking to strangers is vital for our well-being, why humans are terrible at forecasting, how fear and pessimism are preventing us from talking to strangers, why we should make a choice to talk either way, why talking to strangers is a more positive experience than you might think, how overfocusing on competence instead of warmth is making you insecure, why our personality is not fixed but depends on our choices, why you should act more extroverted, why people crave meaningful conversations over small talk, how to talk with strangers and make those conversations meaningful, how much to share versus listen to someone, if physical attractiveness matters when it comes to talking to strangers, and much more.