Holmes' Cinema Clues CrossOver Edition: Parenthood with Cinema Agents Dan & Stephanie

Cross Over Month with Holmes' Cinema Clues with Dr. Temple Grandin

Many times after the identification of an autistic of ADHD partner the couple wants to start couples' work but are you really ready? We go over these 10 things found in Uniquely Us to see if the couple, both partners, are ready to do couples' work. From this blog written by Dr. Stephanie & Barb are you ready? https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/post/are-you-ready-for-marriage-work-10-things-to-consider This list comes from Uniquely Us https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/uniquelyus To join Dr Stephanie's groups: https://www.holmesasr.com/womengroups To work with Barb: https://bg-hc.com/

As we continue this month's conversations about Attachment to God, Self & Others, JTG has guest Dr. Jim Wilder as they discuss Dr. Wilder's books Solution of Choice & Passages of Men. Today, the "Guys" talk with Dr. Jim Wilder based on concepts from Other Half of Church, Passages of Men & Solution of Choice.

Today on Neurodiverse Christian Couples, Dr. Stephanie Holmes is joined by guest co-host Jenilee Rachel, filling in for Dan, for a conversation with Kimberly June Miller, MTh, LMFT, co-author with Dr. Alison Cook of Boundaries for Your Soul. Together, they explore Internal Family Systems (IFS) from a distinctly Christian perspective. IFS gives us language for understanding the different “parts” of ourselves—the protective parts, wounded parts, critical voices, fears, and responses that can sometimes seem to compete for control. Kimberly discusses how this framework can be integrated with Christian faith, helping us approach those parts with curiosity and compassion rather than shame or condemnation while inviting the presence and leadership of God into the places within us that need healing. Boundaries for Your Soul describes this as learning to develop healthy internal boundaries so that overwhelming thoughts and emotions can be heard and understood without being allowed to take over our lives. Kimberly June Miller, MTh, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, speaker, retreat leader, and founder of Leading Wholeheartedly, a ministry devoted to helping Christian leaders cultivate healthy inner lives. Before becoming a therapist, Kimberly served as a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Harvard University. She holds graduate degrees in theology and clinical psychology and is Certified and Level 2 trained in Internal Family Systems Therapy, with additional training in Imago Relationship Therapy, Gottman, and Prepare-Enrich. Her work specializes in the integration of psychology and spirituality and in helping people recognize that difficult emotions and internal conflicts do not have to be enemies—they can become places where God meets us and transformation occurs. Kimberly's books: Boundaries for the Soul Spiritual Wellness Bible Additional information from Kimberly Not all meaningful connection is human-to-human. On the IFS Talks podcast, Sarah Bergenfield reminds us that many autistic individuals experience deep connection—to animals, objects, places, or sensory rituals—not as a trauma response, but as a natural way to feel grounded and connected. For some on the spectrum, a dog, a blanket, a favorite tree, or even a familiar texture offers a steady, anchoring presence that helps them feel safe and settled. In IFS, we honor each part’s wisdom—and for some, connection with the other-than-human world is exactly what brings regulation, joy, and wholeheartedness. Dr. Stephanie adds that IFS has been researched as helpful for ASD/ND; IFS is helpful for all neurotypes!

Today as we have been talking about rupture and repair and attachment, we need to discuss boundaries, which Dr. Curt Thompson calls "limit setting necessary ruptures." Key points from Dr. Stephanie and Barb's discussion on what boundaries are and are not: Core ideas 1. Ruptures are inevitable in relationships. 2. Not every rupture should be repaired in the same way. 3. A boundary can create a rupture without being wrong. 4. “No” is part of healthy development and maturity. 5. A boundary is about my participation, not controlling you. 6. Boundaries are not punishment. 7. Love and unlimited access are not the same thing. 8. Forgiveness, trust, and reconciliation are different things. You can forgive someone without immediately restoring access or trust. Trust is rebuilt through consistent behavior, and reconciliation requires movement from both people. 9. One person cannot create mutual repair. You can tell the truth, apologize, forgive, release vengeance, and remain open to change, but you cannot: o repent for someone else, o make them tell the truth, o make them care about their impact, o create mutual trust while they continue violating it. 10. Repair requires changed conditions, not simply good intentions. 11. Patience is not passivity; hope is not denial. 12. Sometimes stepping back is the appropriate response to rupture. 13. Being fully known includes having your “no” known. 14. Healthy attachment doesn't mean fusion/enmenshment 15. Jesus modeled love with limits. Please look up the Being Known Podcast, Season 11 Dr. Curt Thompson does an entire series on Ruptures and Repair, and not all ruptures are repairable! Want to work with Barb? https://bg-hc.com/ Need a consultation for next steps? https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/contact-us Searching for a show or host or topic in the podcast? https://ndcc-podcast.com/