Neuro-affirming Self Acceptance with Dr Emma Bede
Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes CunninghamShow Notes
Am delighted to be sharing this interview with the fantabulous Dr Emma Bede. We met online when we were both presenting at Online Events’ Living and Working with Neurodivergence Conference last year and she is SUCH a joy. SIGN UP FOR THE FREE NEWSLETTER AND GET MORE INFORMATION HERE Here are some of my favourite quotes from our conversation: “These are the structures I need to have in place. I think as someone with ADHD, I think if I think of that as like, ‘Come on, you’ve got to do this every day for the rest of your life,’ I just get angry.” ~ Dr Emma Bede “I’m not very good at forming habits. Things don’t become autopilot except for the really unhelpful things. I played Candy Crush once and I’m going to play it every day for the rest of my life. But for the helpful things, I’m never on autopilot, you know, I always need the reminders, the prompts, the visual cues, the apps, the habit trackers. But I’ve been gradually adding more and more things.” ~ Dr Emma Bede “I can’t do all of those things every day, but they go in waves and I’m getting better over time at noticing, oh, I’ve skipped a few days of this actually. And I quite kind of miss it and I want to come back to it. I want to feel how I feel when I do that thing and that might mean that I give up on something else a little bit.” ~ Dr Emma Bede “I’m saying to other people, ‘Well, that’s OK. That’s how your body works. That’s how your brain works. Let’s find a way to go with that. Let’s find a way to go with the rhythm of that.’ And then to walk out of the room and swear at myself for doing the exact same thing? You can only sustain that for so long.” ~ Dr Emma Bede “If you’re holding a screwdriver in your hand and everyone else is holding a spanner, you can sit there for years trying to use it as a spanner and it’s not going to work. But then you go, ‘Do you know what? This is a screwdriver. I cannot do the things that those people can do with their spanners, but screwdrivers can do amazing stuff. I’m going to go do some of those things!’” ~ Dr Emma Bede JOURNAL PROMPTS As you watch or listen to our interview, ask yourself: · Who can you be that honest with in your life? Advocating for your sensory needs while also loving and accepting them?· How can you be kinder to yourself when you meltdown? What will help you repair? Remember, the reparation allows deeper healing and connection than if you were to somehow magically become the perfect parent/partner/therapist etc.Let me know in the comments or by email – [email protected] le grá (with love), Eve CHAPTERS 0:00–1:54 Self-care without punishment: the paradox of acceptance and change 1:54–5:13 Welcome and introductions: Dr Emma Bede 5:13–13:02 Ideal vs actual self-care: ACT, gentleness, and finding a rhythm that works with ADHD/autism 13:02–20:06 Self-acceptance, perfectionism, and “acceptance permits change” (including the screwdriver metaphor and RSD moment) 20:06–28:21 Support systems and boundaries: co-regulation, humour, cats and spotting capacity before meltdown 28:21–33:06 Healing your Younger Self: reassurance, being more of you, and not being a “tribute band” 33:06–35:35 Where to find Emma, book mention and closing notes LINKS Emma Bede’s website: https://www.willowpsychology.co.uk/ https://thefeelbettereverydaypodcast for all episodes and more information https://selfcarecoaching.net for free resources (including Míle Buíochas Mondays), more information and to book a free telephone consultation for potential clients and supervisees (and for media enquiries or booking me for events). #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy #selfcareforAuDHD #selfcareforADHD #selfcareforautism #dremmabede #newpodcastepisode FULL TRANSCRIPT That paradox between that second, the Love [part of your framework] of “You’re perfect as you are, you’re wonderful.” And also, “Right, what are you going to do today? How are you going to make today better? How are you going to fix yourself?” And to have those two parts alongside each other. B
More from Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham
As we get closer to Samhain, the start of the Celtic New Year, original Hallowe’en and time where the veil between the worlds of the living and dead are said to be thinnest, it’s an especial delight to welcome the fantabulous Lisa Taylor. She shares her ideal and actual self-care, Self care and community care including some of the ways in which she (and you can too) protects her energy, connects with Spirit and stays grounded. What are your favourite ways to connect with your highest, truest, wildest, most joyful, brilliant and miraculous Self? Let us know and thank you for being here. le grá (with love) Ev3 #lisataylor #embodiedwellbeing #grounding #energymanagement #solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd CHAPTERS 0:00 Energy management and the nervous system 3:25 Lisa’s work in travel, design and wellness 4:52 Looking after your energy 10:51 Self-care, trauma and working for yourself 14:35 Creating a morning self-care routine 16:23 How sea swimming can help reset 21:06 Creativity, play and switching off from work 27:12 Community, retreats and collective care 34:30 The cardamom pod question 37:15 Advice to a younger self LINKS https://www.lisataylortravel.co.uk/ https://www.instagram.com/lisataylortravel/ https://www.instagram.com/luckylisat/ Transcendental Meditation https://www.tm.org/en-gb Vickie El-Rayyes https://www.dilligrey.com/ If you enjoyed this, check out: Episode 93: More Joy, Less Angst: Trauma-Informed Yoga for AuDHD https://solestosoul.ie/2026/01/13/more-joy-less-angst-trauma-informed-yoga-for-audhd-episode-93-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 99: Defy Dystopia! Energy Clearing Meditation for Trauma and AuDHD https://solestosoul.ie/2026/02/24/defy-dystopia-energy-clearing-meditation-for-trauma-and-audhd-episode-99-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 130: Wayward Women Co-author, Tracey Davies https://solestosoul.ie/2026/09/29/wayward-women-co-author-tracey-davies-episode-130-of-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham/ Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/ Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
I so loved talking to Sue Reed about her books, trauma recovery, late diagnosis of ADHD, graveyards, blackberries, nana naps, sea swims, trees and so much more. What part/s of your story have you been told others don’t care about? What might you be able to alchemise if you give yourself permission to care about it and trust that others will too? You can watch or listen wherever you podcast and access full transcript, show notes, links and more here le grá (with love), Ev3 #suereed #therewildingofmollymcflynn #authorlife #latediagnosedadhd #traumahealing CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to the podcast and meeting Sue Reed 04:10 From therapy to creative writing and The Rewilding of Molly McFlynn 10:14 Self-care, cold water and finding space to regulate 15:27 The importance of movement and learning to feel lovable 20:57 Addiction, trauma and understanding what happened 23:32 Finding your voice through writing and an ADHD diagnosis 27:13 From shame to self-compassion 30:57 Realising it wasn’t your fault 34:09 Learning to set boundaries 35:52 Finding community, connection and support 40:26 Throwing cardamom pods for Gill Castle 42:41 What Sue would tell her younger self 45:20 It absolutely was not your fault 46:22 Grounding and checking in with yourself LINKS RIPE Post-trauma badassery, unapologetic ageing, gardening as witchcraft, menopausal resurrection, van life joyrides, and neurospicy chaos. By Sue Reed
I’ve been sober (alcohol and drugs, mostly alcohol) since 2001. Quit smoking in 2001, too. Became vegan in 2017. And (drumroll) it’s nearly 7 weeks since I quit the crisps! In this episode, I share what may sound like a silly example of dorsal vagal (aka Freeze! with the Polyvagal Purrs approach – journal and planner coming soon!) numbing and yet it was challenging. I remember contemplating quitting crisps in 2008 doing my NLP master practitioner training but not wanting to be “crisp sober” so not going ahead. I hope this episode will help you untangle some of your own numbing go to behaviours and remember that you deserve better. le grá (with love), Ev3 HASHTAGS #iamjanedoe #polyvagalpurrs #sobriety #embodiedwellbeing #solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd CHAPTERS 00:00 Struggling to do what you mean to do 03:19 When behaviours help us feel safer 06:48 Learning to feel good in your body 10:12 Understanding your nervous system responses 12:18 Getting curious about what a behaviour is trying to do 14:03 Learning to love and care for yourself 15:55 Healing through community and support 18:19 How the body can teach us what we need 20:56 Sending love back to our younger selves 25:24 The cardamom pod question 28:43 The Body is Not an Apology (Sonya Renee Taylor) 30:26 Grounding and listening to what you need LINKS Sonya Renee Taylor: https://www.sonyareneetaylor.com/ Meggan Watterson: https://www.megganwatterson.com/ onlinevents: https://app.onlinevents.co.uk/ If you enjoyed this, check out: Episode 25: ‘My needs are high’ says Louise Lucas (formerly Brown), the delightful queer, neurodivergent therapist, supervisor and trainer https://solestosoul.ie/podcast-feed/my-needs-are-high-says-louise-brown-the-delightful-queer-neurodivergent-therapist-supervisor-and-trainer/ Episode 127: Compassion and Pandas with Louise Lucas: Episode 127 https://solestosoul.ie/2026/09/08/compassion-and-pandas-with-louise-lucas-episode-127-of-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham/ Episode 94: Neuro-affirming Self Acceptance with Dr Emma Bede https://solestosoul.ie/2026/01/20/neuro-affirming-self-acceptance-with-dr-emma-bede-episode-94-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 97: Movement and Meaning with John Wilson https://solestosoul.ie/2026/02/10/movement-and-meaning-with-john-wilson-episode-97-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 28: COOKING as self care? Psychotherapist and nutritional therapist Jayne Leonard has revolutionised my LIFE https://solestosoul.ie/podcast-feed/cooking-as-self-care-psychotherapist-and-nutritional-therapist-jayne-leonard-has-revolutionised-my-life/ Episode 42: On Inner Royalty with Jayne Leonard https://solestosoul.ie/2025/01/21/on-inner-royalty-with-jayne-leonard-episode-42-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 50: Neurodiversity Celebration Week with Jayne Leonard https://solestosoul.ie/2025/03/17/neurodiversity-celebration-week-with-jayne-leonard-episode-50-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 60: Jayne Leonard on food and mood https://solestosoul.ie/2025/05/27/jayne-leonard-on-food-and-mood-episode-60-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 48: Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze! Polyvagal informed self care for trauma and/or ADHD. With cats https://solestosoul.ie/podcast-feed/cattitude-purr-hiss-freeze-polyvagal-informed-self-care-for-trauma-and-or-adhd-with-cats/ Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/ Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
From dogs to isolated cabins, graveyards to comedy, late diagnosed ADHDer and Wayward Women co-author, Tracey Davies, was an absolute delight to chat to for episode 130 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. If you're a late diagnosed AuDHDer (autism and ADHD), autistic or ADHDer, did your school report cards help in the process? I only had one school report to hand over and it was very helpful. I hope you enjoy this episode and thanks again for being here. le grá (with love), Ev3
Am beyond delighted to share this conversation with the magnificent Mattia Maurée of AuDHD Flourishing. I can’t believe I’ve gone from literally sobbing on my kitchen floor a few years ago (when I came across their podcast when I was going through my own late diagnosis. Listening to all the episodes, I felt like they were inside my head) to sharing their ideal and actual self-care. Mattia shares their love of camping, awe-inspiring nature and more. le grá (with love), Ev3 #audhdflourishing #audhd #neuroqueer #lgbtq+ #mattiamauree CHAPTERS 00:00 Mattia on the restorative power of camping 04:03 Mattia created AuDHD Flourishing 07:45 Mattia’s ideal and actual self-care 11:07 Learning to listen to the body 14:05 Finding connection through nature and awe 18:08 Combining nature, movement and connection 19:21 The communities that help Mattia feel held 23:48 The power of group somatic work 25:10 Who Mattia would throw cardamom for 27:40 Sending love to a younger self 30:04 What Mattia needed to hear when they were younger 33:09 Grounding and listening to what you need LINKS https://www.audhdflourishing.com/ https://linktr.ee/mattiam https://www.patreon.com/mattia/about https://www.tiktok.com/@audhdflourishing https://www.youtube.com/@MattiaMauree https://www.rewilding.cc/ If you enjoyed this, check out: Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts https://solestosoul.ie/2025/11/04/community-as-self-care-with-elizabeth-potts-episode-83-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/ Episode 111: Survival for Sensitive Souls with Zeenat Ahmed-Peto https://solestosoul.ie/2026/05/19/survival-for-sensitive-souls-with-zeenat-ahmed-peto-episode-111-of-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham/ Episode 126: Trauma, AuDHD (autism and ADHD) and Your 9 Senses https://solestosoul.ie/2026/09/01/trauma-audhd-autism-and-adhd-and-your-9-senses-episode-126-of-the-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham-podcast/ Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/ Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads