Readings in Complementarity | Grimké Books Vol. I

Jesus said that apart from him we can do nothing, and prayer is what you do if you actually believe it. Yet a pastor can go years without praying and no one would ever know, because the sermons still get written and the schedule still gets kept. So why do so many Christians, pastors most of all, treat prayer as filler, a last resort, or a guilt trip? This week, the profs call prayerlessness what it is, take on the Reformed habit of explaining away “you have not because you ask not,” weigh whether posture matters, and offer practical counsel for young Christians and prayerless pastors alike. SKIP AHEAD.(00:00) Coming up...(00:21) Intro(01:28) No One Thinks They Pray Too Much(05:28) “Lord, Teach Us to Pray”(08:58) Prayer as a Stage Transition(10:15) Three Reasons Most People Pray(13:15) Prayerlessness Is a Sin(17:00) Spurgeon’s Boiler Room: Fact or Preacher Story?(21:10) The Van That Wouldn’t Start(23:54) C.S. Lewis on Small Prayers(25:43) The Reformed Sovereignty Hurdle(28:06) Sounding More Like Schleiermacher Than Calvin(32:01) Must Every Prayer Say “If It Be Your Will”?(37:54) Kanye and “My Will Be Done”(39:37) In the War Room, Never on the Battlefield(43:26) Prayer Cloths and Magic Spells(46:44) Does Posture Matter?(53:28) Advice for Young Christians(56:58) Prayer Partners and Praying on the Go(1:01:13) Advice for Prayerless Pastors(1:04:22) Spurgeon: “Keep Up the Prayer Meeting”(1:07:26) Outro QUESTION OR TOPIC SUGGESTION?✦ https://grimke.org/topics THE GRIMKÉ PODCAST.All Episodes: https://grimke.org/podcast IN THIS VIDEO.Bryan Laughlin — Chancellor & CEO (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/bryan-laughlinDr. Doug Logan Jr. — President (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-loganJoe Holland — Dean (Grimké College)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/joe-hollandDr. Doug Ponder — Academic Dean (Grimké Seminary)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-ponder MORE FROM GRIMKÉ.Grimké Seminary — Training Pastors and Planters in, by, and for the Church✧ https://grimkeseminary.orgGrimké College — Practical Biblical Studies for Every Christian✧ https://grimkecollege.orgGrimké Europe — For the Church in Europe, Hosted in Liverpool, UK✧ https://grimkeeurope.org SUPPORT GRIMKÉ.Want to support the work of Grimké Seminary?✧ https://grimkeseminary.org/give/ FOLLOW US.✧ YouTube — https://youtube.com/@grimkeofficial✧ X — https://twitter.com/grimkeseminary✧ Instagram — https://instagram.com/grimkeseminary✧ Facebook — https://facebook.com/grimkeseminary

In 1965, when one in four black children was born out of wedlock, it was called a national crisis. Today it's seven in ten, and the silence is deafening. So how did marriage become optional, and who will lead the way back? In Volume III of the Grimké Review of Books, Delano Squires of the Heritage Foundation joins the profs to discuss his new book, The Vanishing Black Family: why slavery couldn't destroy the black family but welfare and feminism undermined it from within, why you can't sow Snoop Dogg and reap the Huxtables, and why rebuilding the home starts in the church. SKIP AHEAD.(00:00) Coming up...(00:22) Welcome: Delano Squires(05:50) How the Book Came About(07:32) Equity in Every Structure Except Family Structure(10:04) Slavery Deformed the Black Family, But Didn't Destroy It(15:02) Two Cultural Shocks: Welfare and Second-Wave Feminism(16:37) "You Trade a Man for The Man"(19:09) "Marriage Is for White People"(21:05) Rejecting Destructive Media(23:10) You Can't Sow Snoop Dogg and Reap the Huxtables(26:22) Everyone Has Access to the Village Idiot(28:31) Where Do We Start to Rebuild?(30:41) The Four Houses: Church, School, State, and Art(31:05) Black Liberation Theology: A Barrier to Family Reconstruction(32:37) BLM vs. the "Western-Prescribed Nuclear Family"(37:37) The Church Is the Most Important House(39:20) "Bigger Government or Better White People"(41:22) The Iron Triangle(44:46) Don't Outsource Your Moral Agency(47:49) "Ain't No Santa Coming Here"(50:58) The Moynihan Report vs. The Vanishing Black Family(54:28) Six Obstacles to Family Revival(56:45) Reasons for Hope(59:34) Right Message, Wrong Audience(01:04:15) The War Room vs. the War Zone(01:09:46) 77% Have Cohabited: What Pastors Are Facing(01:12:38) Birth Control at 18, IVF at 38 MENTIONED WORKS.(00:49) The Vanishing Black Family by Delano Squires(34:50) The Cross and the Lynching Tree by James H. Cone(50:03) "West India Emancipation" (speech) by Frederick Douglass(51:07) The Negro Family: The Case for National Action by Daniel Patrick Moynihan READ FIRST.Squires, Delano. The Vanishing Black Family: How Welfare and Feminism Made Marriage Optional and Children Vulnerable. New York: Sentinel, 2026.✧ https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593852672 FURTHER RECOMMENDED READING.Moynihan, Daniel Patrick. The Negro Family: The Case for National Action. Washington, DC: Office of Policy Planning and Research, U.S. Department of Labor, 1965.✧ https://www.dol.gov/general/aboutdol/history/webid-moynihanSowell, Thomas. Black Rednecks and White Liberals. San Francisco: Encounter Books, 2005.✧ https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594030863Steele, Shelby. The Content of Our Character: A New Vision of Race in America. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1990.✧ https://www.amazon.com/dp/0312049501Steele, Shelby. White Guilt: How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era. New York: HarperCollins, 2006.✧ https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060578629Williams, Walter E. Race & Economics: How Much Can Be Blamed on Discrimination? Stanford: Hoover Institution Press, 2011.✧ https://www.amazon.com/dp/0817912452 QUESTION OR TOPIC SUGGESTION?✦ https://grimke.org/topics THE GRIMKÉ PODCAST.All Episodes: https://grimke.org/podcast IN THIS VIDEO.Delano Squires — Director, Richard and Helen DeVos Center for Human Flourishing (The Heritage Foundation)✧ Bio: https://www.heritage.org/staff/delano-squiresDr. Doug Logan Jr. — President (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-loganBryan Laughlin — Chancellor & CEO (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/bryan-laughlin MORE FROM GRIMKÉ.Grimké Seminary — Training Pastors and Planters in, by, and for the Church✧ https://grimkeseminary.orgGrimké College — Practical Biblical Studies for Every Christian✧ https://grimkecollege.orgGrimké Europe — For the Church in Europe, Hosted in Liverpool, UK✧ https://grimkeeurope.org SUPPORT GRIMKÉ.Want to support the work of Grimké Seminary?✧ https://grimkeseminary.org/give/ FOLLOW US.✧ YouTube —

The way you dress says something about you whether you like it or not. Scripture has a category for respectable apparel and a warning about the two ditches on either side of it, and yet a generation of Christians has been taught that clothes are neutral, that the Lord looks on the heart, and that any standard of dress is legalism with a pocket square. So does it really matter what you wear? This week, the profs make the case that dress is a discipleship issue—the biblical category of respectable apparel, the two ditches of ostentation and slovenliness, the poverty and missional objections every pastor reaches for, and why there is no golden era but there are still golden things worth recovering. SKIP AHEAD.(00:00) Coming up...(00:27) Welcome Back: Bow Ties, Beards, and the Conference Elevator(02:16) Today's Topic: How Should Christian Men Dress?(05:31) The PhD Seminar Experiment: Plaid vs. Pleated Slacks(08:09) Pajamas in Public and the Limits Nobody Can Deny(09:02) Two Identical Résumés, Two Very Different Men(12:32) Feminine and Masculine Dress (15:58) The Brilliant Student Who Rolled Out of Bed(18:02) Does the Bible Actually Talk About Clothes?(19:46) Two Ditches: Ostentation and Slovenliness(22:42) This Is About Grown Folk Being Grown(25:28) The Viral List of Dad Tips — and the Backlash(29:24) The Bruce Jenner Argument(34:08) A First Date, Stonewashed Jeans, and Running Shoes(36:29) Easier to Change the Clothes Than to Change the Man(39:22) Objection #1 — The Poverty Argument(41:52) Nike Tech, Quarter-Zips, and Changed Behavior(45:25) Objection #2 — "You Can't Reach Them Unless You Look Like Them"(50:25) The Young Men Who Were Simply Never Taught(51:37) Discipleship, the Pageant Room, and Tying a Tie(55:29) Three Verses Every Pastor Should Sit With(57:57) The Tuskegee Dress Code Controversy(1:01:48) No Golden Era, but There Are Golden Things QUESTION OR TOPIC SUGGESTION?✦ https://grimke.org/topics THE GRIMKÉ PODCAST.All Episodes: https://grimke.org/podcast IN THIS VIDEO.Bryan Laughlin — Chancellor & CEO (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/bryan-laughlinDr. Doug Logan Jr. — President (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-loganJoe Holland — Dean (Grimké College)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/joe-hollandDr. Doug Ponder — Academic Dean (Grimké Seminary)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-ponder MORE FROM GRIMKÉ.Grimké Seminary — Training Pastors and Planters in, by, and for the Church✧ https://grimkeseminary.orgGrimké College — Practical Biblical Studies for Every Christian✧ https://grimkecollege.orgGrimké Europe — For the Church in Europe, Hosted in Liverpool, UK✧ https://grimkeeurope.org SUPPORT GRIMKÉ.Want to support the work of Grimké Seminary?✧ https://grimkeseminary.org/give/ FOLLOW US.✧ YouTube — https://youtube.com/@grimkeofficial✧ X — https://twitter.com/grimkeseminary✧ Instagram — https://instagram.com/grimkeseminary✧ Facebook — https://facebook.com/grimkeseminary

Scarcely one man in a dozen in the pulpit talks like a man. Spurgeon said that in the 1800s, and today the one who still does is the man everyone calls abusive. The Bible's dominant image for leading God's people isn't manager, life coach, or feel-good chaplain—it's shepherd, a kingly word for a man who leads, feeds, guards, and knows how to say no. So what does true shepherding actually look like, and why has it become a cultural heresy? To open Season 3, the profs take up the crisis of pastoral leadership—the four kinds of people sitting in every congregation, why goats get tolerated and wolves get put out, how to spot a hireling before the wolves show up, and why raggedy shepherds always make raggedy sheep. SKIP AHEAD.(00:00) Coming up...(00:20) Welcome Back: Season Three Kicks Off(02:05) Today's Topic: True Shepherding(03:05) We Are in a Shepherding Crisis(03:46) "Shepherd" Is a Kingly Word(06:06) Ezekiel 34 Isn't About Who You Think(07:43) Christ the Chief Shepherd and His Under-Shepherds(10:23) "That's My Pastor" — The Man in the Suit(12:51) More Than a Physician of Souls(15:57) Grocery Store Owner or Father at the Stove?(20:11) The Word "No" Is Not Abuse(21:01) Authority Is Basic Christianity(23:45) The Real Epidemic Is Passive Shepherds(27:53) Don't Wait for a Crisis to Teach This(30:40) Raggedy Shepherds Make Raggedy Sheep(35:23) Outsourcing Counseling Is a Gross Failure(37:41) "God Has Given Christianity a Masculine Tone"(40:55) "Scarcely One Man in a Dozen Talks Like a Man"(43:17) #1 — Sheep: Imperfect, But They Follow His Voice(51:12) "Gentle as a Nursing Mother" — The Objection Answered(53:25) #2 — Goats: Folly, Not Malice(57:10) #3 — Wolves: Malice, Camouflage, and Division(1:01:49) Goats Are Tolerated. Wolves Are Not.(1:04:13) #4 — Hirelings: Self-Serving Cowardice(1:08:12) LeBron, Giannis, and Pastoral Tenure(1:10:27) You Will Give an Account for These Souls(1:12:44) Outro: Stay the Course QUESTION OR TOPIC SUGGESTION?✦ https://grimke.org/topics THE GRIMKÉ PODCAST.All Episodes: https://grimke.org/podcast IN THIS VIDEO.Bryan Laughlin — Chancellor & CEO (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/bryan-laughlinDr. Doug Logan Jr. — President (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-loganJoe Holland — Dean (Grimké College)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/joe-hollandDr. Doug Ponder — Academic Dean (Grimké Seminary)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-ponder MORE FROM GRIMKÉ.Grimké Seminary — Training Pastors and Planters in, by, and for the Church✧ https://grimkeseminary.orgGrimké College — Practical Biblical Studies for Every Christian✧ https://grimkecollege.orgGrimké Europe — For the Church in Europe, Hosted in Liverpool, UK✧ https://grimkeeurope.org SUPPORT GRIMKÉ.Want to support the work of Grimké Seminary?✧ https://grimkeseminary.org/give/ FOLLOW US.✧ YouTube — https://youtube.com/@grimkeofficial✧ X — https://twitter.com/grimkeseminary✧ Instagram — https://instagram.com/grimkeseminary✧ Facebook — https://facebook.com/grimkeseminary

Jonathan Edwards wasn't run off over his doctrine—he was run off because he mishandled one sensitive case. Botch organizational leadership and you can tank your church, get fired, and make a lot of people miserable on the way out, no matter how faithfully you pray, study, and preach. So what does faithful organizational leadership actually look like, and where do pastors most often get it wrong? For the Season 2 finale, the profs count down the 12 organizational leadership issues they work through with pastors most—delegation that's really just abdication, the authority too many men are too scared to use, the bylaws you'll wish you'd read six months before you needed them, the yes-men who gave the world Jar Jar Binks, and more. SKIP AHEAD.(00:00) Coming up...(00:29) Welcome Back: The Least Organized Intro Ever(03:10) Today's Topic: Organizational Leadership(03:50) Jonathan Edwards Got Fired Over This(05:26) Pastoral Leadership vs. Organizational Leadership(07:04) "Manage His Household Well" — The Bible's Own Leadership Language(12:30) Should Christians Plunder the Egyptians?(16:41) Grimké Support Break(17:15) #1 — Delegation (and the Michael Scott Problem)(20:37) Isolation vs. Abdication(26:32) The Four Rules of Delegation(31:49) #2 — Time and Schedule Management(33:15) Pastors Are Spiritual First Responders(37:15) #3 — Developing Leaders and Future Elders(39:21) From New Convert to Elder: On-Ramps and Off-Ramps(45:34) #4 — Character Before Skill(48:03) But Character Isn't Enough Either(50:57) #5 — Communication and Conflict(54:45) Make the Call or Have the Meeting(56:53) #6 — You Must Exercise Authority(1:01:35) When Good Authority Goes Bad(1:03:14) #7 — Know Your Constitution and Bylaws(1:09:44) #8 — Risk Mitigation (Or: Don't Be a Fool)(1:12:19) #9 — Tiered Leadership: Don't Succeed Into Failure(1:17:20) Sedan Church, Minivan Church(1:18:30) #10 — Faith and Planning (Nehemiah 4)(1:22:38) #11 — Relationships and Clear Metrics(1:27:07) #12 — Be Careful Who You Keep as Advisers(1:27:56) Flatterers, Yes-Men, and How We Got Jar Jar Binks(1:32:22) Outro: The Best Idea Wins QUESTION OR TOPIC SUGGESTION?✦ https://grimke.org/topics THE GRIMKÉ PODCAST.All Episodes: https://grimke.org/podcast IN THIS VIDEO.Bryan Laughlin — Chancellor & CEO (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/bryan-laughlinDr. Doug Logan Jr. — President (Grimké)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-loganJoe Holland — Dean (Grimké College)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/joe-hollandDr. Doug Ponder — Academic Dean (Grimké Seminary)✧ Bio: https://grimkeseminary.org/doug-ponder MORE FROM GRIMKÉ.Grimké Seminary — Training Pastors and Planters in, by, and for the Church✧ https://grimkeseminary.orgGrimké College — Practical Biblical Studies for Every Christian✧ https://grimkecollege.orgGrimké Europe — For the Church in Europe, Hosted in Liverpool, UK✧ https://grimkeeurope.org SUPPORT GRIMKÉ.Want to support the work of Grimké Seminary?✧ https://grimkeseminary.org/give/ FOLLOW US.✧ YouTube — https://youtube.com/@grimkeofficial✧ X — https://twitter.com/grimkeseminary✧ Instagram — https://instagram.com/grimkeseminary✧ Facebook — https://facebook.com/grimkeseminary