Love By Design - The Six Ingredients For Thriving Relationships with Dr Sara Nasserzadeh

What really drives people to have affairs? Author of Affairs: True Stories of Love, Lies, Hope and Desire, Juliet Rosenfeld would say that affairs go way beyond what is immediately obvious in a relationship and that in some cases the probability of someone having an affair pre-dates even the relationship itself. Drawing from years of clinical work, Juliet explores affairs not simply as acts of betrayal, but as windows into the unconscious — into our histories, our unmet needs, our attachments, our fantasies, and the parts of ourselves we often struggle to understand. In this episode we are asking a deeper question: what is actually happening psychologically when affairs occur? We talk about why and how affairs force us to confront some of the most difficult truths about intimacy, love, dependency, desire, and the stories we carry about being chosen, rejected, wanted, or left behind. For some people, infidelity represents the ultimate betrayal. For others, it raises uncomfortable questions about love, longing, togetherness, loneliness; and what happens to us inside long-term relationships over time. Behind closed therapy room doors affairs show up in numerous ways, from couples trying to rebuild trust after betrayal, to those paralysed by guilt after crossing a line they never imagined themselves crossing; in the partners left questioning everything they thought they knew about their relationship and themselves; and adults who witnessed infidelity as children and are still trying to make sense of it. This episode examines the emotional complexity and complicated reality that sits beneath one of the most taboo subjects in intimate relationships.

What’s considered a normal level of testosterone? Is higher always better? And what does this all mean for our sexual wellbeing? In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Dr Ben Davis — private GP, specialist in men’s health and sexual difficulties, and sex and relationship therapist — for a nuanced and evidence-based conversation about testosterone. Together, we unpack the realities behind the stereotypes, exploring the role testosterone plays across different bodies, how it influences mood, libido, energy, erections and relationships, and why conversations about hormonal health need far more depth and understanding. We also discuss the rise in testosterone testing and therapy, what “normal” testosterone levels actually mean, the symptoms that might lead someone to seek support, and the importance of looking at sexual difficulties through both a medical and psychosexual lens. From performance anxiety and stress, to the role of social media and advertising on wellbeing, medications, lifestyle factors and desire fluctuations in relationships; this episode explores the complexity of sexual wellbeing and why there is rarely a single answer.

'Pro porn, pro sex, pro knowing the difference' is one of the many points that Cindy Gallop discusses when talking about how through gaps in good enough education, resources and conversations that pornography became many people's default form of sex education; and how Make Love Not Porn, the platform she's been working on for 17 years can help offer an alternative. In this episode Cindy holds the position that when shame, guilt, and embarrassment shape our understanding of sex, that this drives our sexual behaviours, and for many creates sexual dissatisfaction and the difficulties that many face in their sex lives today. She shares her experiences of how and why what she's created is different, and offers a challenge to the performative nature of so much sexual content that is readily available online. Make Love Not Porn is a human-created and user-led social sex platform which reflects the authenticity of human sex lives and diversity of experiences that people are actually having. Importantly a part of this is the visibility of communication, consent, and the realities of when sex doesn't go perfectly. She also shares the challenges related to the infrastructure around running a business like this, the limitations to raising funding and investment; and the barriers faced by those trying to create ethical, educational spaces in this landscape, and what it means to build something that challenges deeply embedded systems.

The topic of male sexual abuse and sexual harms is still a largely unspoken one, so where do victims and survivors go to get support? In this episode, I’m joined by Duncan Craig OBE founder of We Are Survivors, to explore a conversation that is so often missing—male experiences of sexual trauma, and the long shadow it can cast across identity, relationships, and sex. We talk about the gaps in support, the weight of shame, and why so many men live with these experiences in silence for years, often without language, visibility, or spaces that feel safe enough to speak. This isn’t just about what happens in the immediate aftermath of trauma, but about the lifelong impact—and what it means for survivors' relationships with themselves and others over time. We also go into the complexities that sit underneath this subject: masculinity, sexuality, consent, and the parts of the conversation that feel hardest to say out loud; and what good support and care for victims and survivors can look like when it's done well. Trigger Warning : This conversation contains regular reference to sexual abuse and trauma, and has references to self harm and suicide.

Why even in 2026 is sexual wellbeing still a missing part of the conversation when it comes to healthcare, treatment and recovery? In this episode, I sit down with psychosexual nurse specialist Lorraine Grover to explore sexual health beyond just symptoms, and to discuss why sexual difficulties and challenges are never just about the body. Lorraine talks us through how her work moves beyond the medical model and into the lived experience of patients navigating erectile dysfunction, cancer recovery, body image, and intimacy. With her career spanning from assisting on Viagra clinical trials in the 1990's, to working in prostate cancer care she shares how whenever someone presents with a sexual difficulty that she's never just treating a symptom, but looking at their context of relationships, identity, and emotional wellbeing. Lorraine also shares current medical treatments for erectile dysfunction and other sexual difficulties, and discusses how she explores multiple treatment options with her patients and encourages them to get to know their bodies in new ways and to consider their definitions and narratives about sex. Importantly she highlights why there are so many gaps in support for patients navigating sexual changes; and why so much is still left unsaid and unheard in the intersection of medicine and intimacy.