086 From reels to real life: how breaking one bad habit gave me back 6 hours a day
The Exploring Introvert with Mariella Franker, PhDShow Notes
Breaking a Bad Habit: An Introvert's Journey from Social Media Exhaustion to Mindful Language Learning Ever found yourself doom scrolling through social media when you're exhausted, only to feel more drained afterward? As an introvert and certified habit coach, I discovered one day that I was spent 6 hours on Instagram reels. It was a wake up call! What started as a way to "relax" turned into a vicious cycle of exhaustion and procrastination. In this video, I'll share my personal experience and the science behind breaking a bad habit. You'll learn: Why the 21-day habit building rule is actually a myth (but can still be useful!) How to use the science of habit loops to transform your habits A practical example of how I replaced social media doom scrolling with more productive activities Why consistency matters less than you might think
If you're an introvert struggling with energy management and finding yourself caught in unhealthy habits, this video will show you how you can start to change that. Plus, discover how I went from 6 hours of reels to learning Spanish, getting better sleep, and feeling more accomplished at the end of each day. This isn't just about breaking a bad habit - it's about creating sustainable changes that work with your energy needs as an introvert. Subscribe for more insights on habit building, energy management, and productivity strategies specifically designed for introverts.
--- 00:00 This month I dove into habit formation and breaking a bad habit 00:43 My experiment to stop doom scrolling on IG reels 01:41 When relaxation turns into a bad habit 02:53 Truths and myths: How long before a habit become automatic and how important is consistency really? 03:15 Three elements of habit building: CUE - BEHAVIOR - REWARD 04:30 What’s the 21-day rul? 07:30 You don't need to repeat a habit every day for it to be effective 07:49 Even though it's a myth, the 21-day rule can still be useful 09:07 How important is it to be consistent? 10:47 breaking a bad habit: replacing doom scrolling with language learning 14:03 What can you learn about habit building from this? --- 🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert Letters: https://go.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe 📍 Visit my website: https://www.thefrankermessage.com/ 🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker
More from The Exploring Introvert with Mariella Franker, PhD
Unexpected news this week. For this Sept update, I'm coming live to you from Suriname after hearing that my father is ill. When you're a cross-cultural introvert and you live abroad, these situations are tough.🧭 Sign up for Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe 📍 Visit my website: thefrankermessage.com 📧 Email me: [email protected]) 🔗 Find me on LinkedIn or Instagram: @mariellafranker
In this intimate monthly update, I'm sharing the evolution of my coaching practice and this podcast as we head into summer. While I'll be taking a podcast break in August, I'm excited to continue working with clients and developing new programs that better serve our community of thoughtful explorers. Last month's Habit Building Basics taster sessions revealed how powerful it is when introverts build habits aligned with their natural energy patterns. We explored the fundamental differences in how introverts process information internally before sharing ideas with others, and how this understanding can transform our approach to creating sustainable habits. As an introvert myself, I'm currently in what I call the "connecting the dots phase" with my business - that nervous energy when you sense things coming together in your mind, but can't quite articulate them clearly yet. This reflective process takes time and can feel frustrating, but it's essential to honor this uniquely introvert way of processing and integrating information. After months of careful reflection, I've clarified my mission: I help cross-cultural introverts build sustainable habits so they can grow and find fulfillment in their careers without exhaustion or guilt about how they spend their time. My focus is now specifically on supporting introverts who navigate multiple cultural contexts - whether you're working in multicultural environments, have relocated internationally, or professionally engage with diverse cultures. I've worked with literature scientists amplifying marginalized voices, diplomats transitioning between countries, and academics adapting to new cultural settings. The habit-building approaches I teach are designed specifically for the introvert mind, recognizing our need for deeper processing time, meaningful connections, and sustainable energy management. By working with your Natural Advantage® rather than against it, you'll discover how to create lasting habits that support your growth without burnout. The podcast will return in September. In the meantime, you might see new content formats as I experiment with different ways to serve this community. Thank you for being part of this journey. Remember that as introverts, our strength lies not in forcing ourselves into extroverted systems, but in creating thoughtful practices that honor our unique processing style. Connect with me via email, Instagram, or LinkedIn before the next episode. Have a wonderful summer of exploration! #IntrovertHabits #CrossCulturalIntroverts #HabitBuilding
Hi there, explorers! This month has been all about getting things ready for the Habit Building Basics Tasters that are happening next week. Most of my time working hours has been going towards that. You can sign up here: https://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics On a personal note, we're doing some small renovations and it's pretty messy in our home. Our son has a tent going on in the living room, he calls it his secret laboratory... My son and I are also participating in the five-kilometer, four-day walk (avond 4 daagse). It's a big thing in the Netherlands. 5 km is a lot for a little kid – it takes us about 2 hours. But it’s actually a lot of fun and the whole neighborhood comes out, people stand along the sidewalks to give candy to the kids and cheer you on. Today is the last night, wish us luck! Instead of our usual monthly update, we’re revisiting a previous episode this time. I’ve been talking to a lot of people about Building a Second Brain(BASB), the book by Tiago Forte. This is a topic that a lot of people are interested in. It's one of the most popular episodes of the Exploring Introvert, so this topic is definitely going to come back! Let’s revisit the previous episode where I tell you all about Tiago Forte’s system and maybe it can give you some ideas of how BASB could be helpful to you.
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Too busy or too tired? Here are 4 habits to stay sane.Here’s a question that I get all the time: what habits do you focus on when things are really hectic and you have no time?This month has been just that, so I thought I’d take you on a walk today and we can talk about it. What has made this month so hectic is that I’ve taken on a project that I knew from the start was going to be a difficult project. It involves a lot of different people and there’s a lot of emotions and even some conflicts. I decided to take it on because I know that I’m the right person to help right now. But it’s a difficult situation and I knew really early on that this project was going to take a lot out of me. Now, if you’re working in a team or organization, you may not always be able to pick your projects. So maybe you’ve been in a similar situation where you have a project where you immediately know that it’s going to be hard. What can you do to still do a good job and keep your sanity at the same time?Come with me on my walk today and we’ll talk about 4 habits to keep your sanity in hectic times.00:00 Habits for hectic times00:49 Tricky project this month01:34 4 habits to keep your sanity with a difficult project02:19 Accepting that it's going to cost more energy03:18 Habit #1: how to set boundaries05:05 Habit #2 & #3: process and recharge07:07 Habit #4 Peace of mind habits09:17 Focus on what's most meaningful---🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe📍 Visit my website: thefrankermessage.com🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker