Show Notes
We will all grapple with trauma in some form. If you haven’t experienced it yet personally, then as a leader, mentor, friend, or loved one, you’ll be with someone who has.Drawing from my own recent experience, I want to share what I’ve learned from an event that rattled my nervous system. We'll all get shaken by life, and whether it’s a heated argument, natural disaster, or a dog attack (like mine), it’s important to work through that experience so that unprocessed trauma doesn't get lodged in our system, only to make a surprise appearance when we least expect or want it. Not coping with trauma can have significant consequences.I'm sharing my own response to a recent experience. I’m not a trauma therapist or coach. I took on a few practices to move past a jarring event and as of now, they seem to be working. I do give coaching clients contemplative, grounding and journalizing practices like the ones I describe in this episode. I hope it helps you like it has for me.If you or someone you know have experience trauma, please reach out to a professional.Here are a few of my insights: Help often appears where you’re not looking During the attack, I thought I was powerless and alone. I looked in one direction for help but it came from another. We all have our blind spots, assumptions and ways of seeing reality. We often need others to help us past our limitations. I was not alone. Trust in Others Who Care About You It takes time for the fight-or-flight chemicals to leave our bodies. Until then we may function 'just fine'. Yet our decision-making post trauma is compromised because our nervous system takes a while to settle. Having someone in your corner that sees reality more clearly and who is willing be straight with you is priceless. And you have to be open to listening. Make time to recuperate and reflect Take the time you need to heal and process the event. It’s likely you won't be on your game, so go light on work or take a complete break in order to give yourself the space to recover. While I didn't take days completely off, I went easy enough on myself to get my energy back and clear my head. Bodywork therapies like NetworkSpinal and Polarity Therapy helped me immensely, and journaling has been incredible as well. Breathwork, mindfulness and movement were also part of my healing. I also spent the evenings with a good novel! For further exploration:Network Spinal – search for a practitioner near youPolarity Therapy: https://polaritytherapy.org/Calm breath exercise – extended exhale https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNXKjGFUlMsandt=5sCalm breath exercise – bubble/box breathing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxayUBd6T7MThird-person journaling https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/dg/#:~:text=In%20the%20case%20of%20third,referring%20to%20ourselves%20by%20name.Telling Your Story May Be Good for Your Health https://h-i-v.net/spotlight/mental-health-month-2021 To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit:https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
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This series began with a conversation with my client, Jennifer Bartkowski, and we’re concluding the same way. Jennifer is the ‘very proud’ CEO of Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas. In Fall of 2022 we launched a multi-month, cohort- and practice-based leadership program: Reimagine Girl Scouts Leadership Academy. We’ve tracked the journey and interviewed subject matter experts in key content areas that we covered. Today we talk about the final results of the program and a few lessons learned. Here are a few highlights: The general structure of the program, including primary topic areas We share actual survey results in key areas as well as observations and impact they have seen on the team and organization as a whole. There were plenty of unplanned and unexpected positive results for the organization and individual participants during the program, and after. Jennifer provides her insights on how she’s seen her staff transform and what’s been happening on the inside since the program’s inception. We name some key structures we had in place that contributed to the smooth running of the program The importance of a mutually respectful relationship between client and consultant The impetus of the program was to develop the skills and attributes needed to accomplish the GSNETX mission and that seems to be happening! We’re launching another program with a few adjustments based on what we learned
We have constant demands on our attention, energy and time. If we don’t have strategies for staying focused on what is most important we will almost certainly lose the battle and succumb to distractions that leave us feeling depleted and frustrated. My friend and colleague, Dr. Chris Johnson has literally written a book on how to stay present. And me? I created a worksheet with strategies to help you get and stay focused. Here are a few highlights from our conversation: To guide your energy, attention and time ask, Who is the person I want to be? What is the impact I want to make? Pausing allows us to determine where our attention is, or is not Multi-tasking is not actually possible for our human brains We discuss a few simple (but not easy!) tactics and meta practices for navigating these demands Ask yourself, ‘Do I feel renewed? Do I feel regenerated?’ after time on Social Media We get distracted by what is easy rather than focus on what is important The importance of a ‘positive no’ We stay reactive and busy as a way to avoid being alone with our thoughts Admit it: the list is too long and you won’t get it all done (Burkeman’s 4,000 weeks) There are common places where we leak energy: other’s expectations, over committing, worrying
I’ve worked with a lot of organizations in my time as a coach and leadership consultant and the issue of trust is almost always at or near the center of concern. You’re never done building and nurturing trust. As one of my guests today quotes, “trust is the only thing that affects everything” (Stephen M.R. Covey). We gave it a great deal of air time in the Reimagine Leadership program. Jerry Magar and Lori Darley join me in today’s discussion and we talk about: Signs that trust may be missing in your organization There are defined behaviors that help build trust One way to think about trust is a combination of competence and character Trust-building can be tangible and pragmatic Breakdowns provide a great opportunity to create more trust What does it mean to have vulnerability-based trust?
When I ask experts in the leadership field what the most important attribute for effective leadership today is, I get some version of adaptability or agility. In other words, what is most important is that we’re able to read a context and shift our approach to meet circumstances and challenges with new thinking and behaviors. My guest today, Pam Boney, is so passionate about this that she created an assessment that displays our strengths and helps us know how and where we may need to shift to increase our effectiveness and feeling of fulfillment in life. The assessment is Tilt 365, and Pam is the company’s founder. We used this assessment in the leadership program that this podcast series is centered around. The program began with each leader studying themselves because self-awareness is foundational for our ability to manage our emotions and thus take effective, sustainable action. It’s also vital to our ability to coordinate well with others. So we take the Tilt assessment at the beginning. Because of the developmental nature of this assessment, each leader was able to define areas where they wanted to grow and then identify practices to help them get there. Rather than using labels, Tilt 365 is clear about our ability to shift, or Tilt, to meet new situations and work best with others. We take a walk around the Tilt model discussing: The four quadrants of the model: Spirit/Resilience and Head/Wisdom on the vertical axis and Heart/Humanity and Gut/Courage on the horizontal axis. Aristotle’s Golden Mean: all ‘virtues’ lie in the middle way between two extreme states: excess and deficiency. This has been popularized as ‘any strength overused becomes a weakness’. Oftentimes our fear causes us to move into the extreme states. The four profiles that each combine two of the quadrants: Impact/Change Catalyst combines the quadrants Spirit/Resilience and Gut/Courage Structure/MasterMind combines the quadrants Head/Wisdom and Gut/Courage Clarity/Quiet Genius combines the quadrants Head/Wisdom and Heart/Humanity Connection/Cross Pollinator combines the quadrants Spirit/Resilience and Heart/Humanity The model goes deeper and deeper into personas which give further nuance to why a Tilt style will be animated differently by different people Pam and her team have created offers for individuals and teams and ways to explore more fully how to better understand our strengths and how to develop towards agility.
As part of the Reimagine Leadership limited series, this is the first episode where we dig into content that we actually threaded throughout the program I developed for the Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas. Jim Fallon is an Executive Coach for The Conscious Leadership Group and a Strategic Advisor for many organizations. He spent decades as an executive for many organizations across various industries, which I feel results in a very grounded pragmatism in his approach. We talk about the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, and specifically about the organizing principle of the book: leading above and below the line. Here are a few highlights from our rich conversation: Jim’s wake up call and why he transitioned from CEO to Executive Coach and Strategic Advisor. The important distinction between content and context. Another Big Idea of the book: To Me, By Me, Through Me, As Me. A great description of Locating Yourself (above or below the line). The power, and necessity of accepting ourselves when we find that we are ‘below the line’ (which happens regularly for most of us). Jim does a walkthrough of the 15 Commitments with lots of context. Try the novel and playful approach for teaching others how to get the results you DON’T want - another way that CLG has made this content easier to take in. Jim gets vulnerable and provides a personal example of taking Radical Responsibility, which is Commitment #1.