Am I Overreacting? Was It Really That Bad? (S4 Ep.6)

What happens when you’re the one who always shows up, reaches out, and holds the family together — but the effort is never returned? This week, we hear from a listener who grew up as the parentified daughter: the reliable one, the helper, the one expected to sacrifice, stay quiet, and keep showing up. She left home to build a life of her own, eventually moving abroad and discovering a freedom she’d never known. But distance came with blame, and despite years of trying, she’s still the...

Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, your body learned to scan everything. The shift in tone, the sigh, the silence that means you’re in trouble. You got very good at spotting it, because your survival depended on it. This week I’m joined by my friend Kristen Carter, host of the I Have ADHD podcast, and author of the new book You’re Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships. To me, Kristen’s ...

You're fluent in everyone's emotional language except your own. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you probably have a PhD in reading other people. You can spot a shift in their mood, anticipate what they need, and know exactly which version of yourself keeps the peace. But what about your own thesis? What do you feel, want and need? The clench of your jaw when a friend cancels again. The lump you swallow down when a comment lands. The sting of resentment after yet another yes you did...

"It really made me feel like it was a kind of Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde kind of life." For two weeks of every month, Dr. Shubhangi Karmakar was thriving: studying medicine, completing a master's, and researching PMDD. The other two weeks of the month, they wanted to crawl out of their skin, and wondered what the point of it all was. In this episode, we talk about PMDD – premenstrual dysphoric disorder – a severe hormonal mood disorder. Dr. Shubhangi is a practising clinician, psychiatr...

A narcissistic parent hands their child a mirror. The child job is to hold it up and reflect back whatever the parent needs to see. Beside it, the parent paints a canvas and says: this is you. Selfish. Difficult. Ungrateful. Cold. Unlovable. None of that was ever you. In this episode, I pull apart what it means to grow up invisible. Behind the mirror and behind that ugly painted canvas, there's a blank one. It isn't blank because there's nothing there. It's blank because you...