Show Notes
Today’s episode comes from our Q&A series, where I respond to real parenting questions from listeners.
Andrea wrote in about the challenges she is experiencing with her 10-year-old daughter, whom she describes as a “gladiator,” strong-willed, determined, and often wanting things to go her way. While these qualities can become incredible strengths, they can also make family outings difficult when expectations change, transitions feel overwhelming, or disappointment leads to a meltdown.
With an upcoming trip to a theme park, Andrea wanted to know how she could prepare her daughter while also making the day enjoyable for the rest of the family.
In this episode, I share practical ways to set clear expectations before the outing, prepare for transitions, reduce potential power struggles, and create a flexible plan that supports everyone. Family trips do not have to become a battle. With thoughtful preparation and realistic expectations, you can help your gladiator child feel more secure while protecting the connection, fun, and enjoyment of the day for the entire family.
Jennifer's Takeaways:
Introduction to the Episode and Andrea's Question (00:00) Understanding Neuro Spicy Kids and Their Behavior (01:38) Managing Expectations and Pre-Planning (02:52) Divide and Conquer Strategy (05:23) Handling Overwhelm and Making Choices (07:59) Dealing with Tantrums and Leaving Early (11:43)
Meet Jennifer Kolari
Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.
Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.
Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.
One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
More from Connected Parenting
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As parents, we often act as a substitute frontal lobe for our children while their own executive functioning skills are still developing. We help them regulate emotions, remember what they need, organize themselves, solve problems, and make decisions. But sometimes, without realizing it, we can cross the line from guiding our children to doing too much of the thinking and problem-solving for them.
When one child in the family requires a lot of attention because of big emotions, tantrums, challenging behaviour, or constant pushback, it can quietly affect everyone else in the home. In this episode of "Connected Parenting", Jennifer turns the focus to the child who is often described as the “good child”. The one who rarely complains, follows the rules, stays out of trouble, and seems to make parenting easy.