129: HSPs & Complex Trauma Series: Holiday Tips for HSPs

Welcome to episode 2 of a brand new Women In-Depth series hosted by Lourdes Viado and Carmen Schmidt Benedetti. This series focuses on highly sensitive persons (HSPs) who have experienced complex trauma.

Lourdes and Carmen hope this discussion will help listeners get more clarity and understanding of the HSP's experience of and recovery from complex trauma. As HSPs themselves, Lourdes & Carmen are passionate about working with individuals with this trait and welcome your ideas and questions as we move forward.

Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada. She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients. She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 350,000x in 96 countries.

Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are 'good enough' and their needs and feelings matter

Topics discussed in this episode: Tips & suggestions for navigating the holidays and staying calm, centered & grounded (1:49) Specific to Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) (2:01) Everyone can benefit from ways to calm their nervous system (2:10) Also useful for navigating everyday life (2:21)

Clarification and definition of "trigger" or "triggers" (2:25) Use of the word can be upsetting (2:54)

Alternate words will be used to interchangeably describing the feeling of being emotionally charged by something that has happened (3:07) Alternatives: reactive, distressed, activated, emotionally charged (3:12) There is a need to prepare or respond in order to cope with whatever is happening to you effectively (3:52)

Boundaries as a framework for discussion (4:23) Time: having boundaries around your time When planning your time, be very clear from the start (5:14) Clearly communicate and set expectations (5:29) Setup cue words with partner to signal it's time to leave (5:53) Asking for time to make a decision (6:24) Building time to transition and decompress into your schedule (7:02) Lighten your schedule during the holiday season (7:35)

Boundary setting is a great skill for HSPs to learn (8:09) Will help you feel safe & in control (8:24) Will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed (8:24) Connection between feeling calm and centered and how well you are setting your boundaries (8:43)

Your body & your physical space (8:54) How much you allow yourself to take on in terms of your energy level (9:08) Self care is another essential skill for HSPs (9:53) Balancing nurturing and supporting others while honoring your needs (10:57) Being mindful of those around you and their energy and emotions (11:43) HSPs will mirror the energy and emotions of those around them, both positive and negative (11:47) Pay attention to clues that you are beginning to get overwhelmed (12:34)

Develop strategies to calm your nervous system when you are overwhelmed (13:18) Unplugging, turning off your screens, going for a walk outside (13:41) Diaphragmatic or belly breathing activates your relaxation system (14:02) Explore techniques which give your senses a break (15:17) Limiting alcohol,caffeine and sugar due to the intense effect they can have on HSPs (15:32)

Tips for events and traveling (16:02) Create smaller gatherings (16:03) Choose accommodations, ways of traveling, and locations that limit overstimulation (17:08) Develop a strategy for hugs and handshakes and communicate your preference to friends and family (17:43) Avoid hurt feelings and awkwardness in the moment (17:47)

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