Quick Spoon: What are we rewarding?

What happens when the work that has shaped your identity begins to change? How do you keep hold of a sense of self in a world built around performance, comparison and high expectations? And how do we support each other when life brings experiences that are difficult to talk about at work? In this episode of People Soup, I'm joined by Chris Rodgers-Wilson, who spent much of his working life as a professional ballet dancer, performing with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. These days, his work brings together psychology, coaching and supporting dancers as they navigate their careers and life beyond the stage. Chris takes us back to the moment a five-year-old boy watched Romeo and Juliet on VHS and was completely transported by the dancing, storytelling and music. That early fascination eventually took him to the Royal Ballet School in London and a career on stage. But this conversation goes well beyond ballet. We explore the pressures of high performance, the challenge of comparing ourselves with others, and the difficulty of holding on to our sense of self when we don't get the opportunities we hoped for. Chris reflects on the sudden loss of his mum, the experience of grieving while continuing to perform, and the extraordinary importance of the people who saw him, trusted him and helped him through. We also talk about perfectionism, knowing when it's time to move on, and how a moment on stage as Romeo helped Chris recognise that he might be ready for a new chapter. And Chris leaves us with a thought-provoking perspective on practice and performance: what if practice isn't simply preparation for the next performance, but a daily process that shapes who we become? In this episode, we explore: Finding your calling — and what happens when you lose touch with it. The pressures of high-performance environments and the trap of comparison. Maintaining a sense of identity when success depends partly on other people's judgements. Grief at work, and why the people around us matter so much. Perfectionism, high standards and the different expectations we place on ourselves and others. Recognising when you've reached a meaningful peak and are ready to move on. Building a new professional identity after a major career transition. Why daily practice can be about much more than preparing to perform.

When we're under pressure, it's easy to get pulled towards whatever feels easiest or most attractive right now. Put off the difficult conversation. Take the path of least resistance. Go for the quick win. But what if our values could help us see beyond what's tempting us in the moment? In this Quick Spoon, I share a short exchange with Dr Ryan Kemp about the importance of values — both in addiction recovery and in the workplace. Ryan highlights the role values can play, and I reflect on how they can give us a glimpse of the longer-term picture, rather than simply following the easiest option. Our values can remind us of the kind of person we want to be and what we're trying to move towards. So here's something to try. The next time you notice you're tempted by the short-term option, pause and ask yourself: What matters to me here in the longer term? A short reflection on values, choices and how we want to show up at work. This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction. Listen to the full conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Listen to the first part of my conversation with Ryan Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn

Can people be honest with you when things aren't going well? In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp reflects on why honest conversations about addiction depend on having an established, trusting relationship. He makes a point that applies just as much to managers as it does to professionals working with people experiencing addiction. If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, how likely is someone to admit that they're struggling? And this isn't about lowering expectations or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about creating the conditions in which people can speak honestly, even when the subject is uncomfortable. So here's something to try. Think about someone you manage or work with and ask yourself: Am I creating a relationship with this person where they'll share the difficult stuff with me? And what small step could I take in that direction? A short reflection on trust, honest conversations and the relationships we build at work. This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction. Listen to the full People Soup conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Listen to the first part of my conversation with Ryan Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn

What happens when the immediate becomes more important than the longer term? In Part One of my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, we explored how addiction can compress a person's experience of time — making the immediate reward feel much more compelling than what might matter further into the future. In this second part, we take that idea into the workplace and the wider culture around us. Ryan and I talk about the impact of addiction at work, the way drinking can become normalised, and how organisational cultures can reinforce short-term thinking and behaviour. We explore what happens when we're constantly rewarded for immediate results - quarterly numbers, annual targets, bonuses and quick wins - and what that might mean for relationships, psychological safety and the longer-term health of organisations. We also talk about something more practical: how can managers respond when someone is struggling with addiction without excusing harmful behaviour? For Ryan, the starting point is relationship. If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, people are unlikely to have honest conversations about difficult things. Compassion, vulnerability and trust create a different possibility. We finish by talking about values — and how reconnecting with what matters can help people move beyond the immediate and begin to see a longer-term direction again. People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Listen to the first part of my conversation with Ryan Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn

Sometimes the things we reach for to make ourselves feel better can also stop us from finding out what's really going on. In this Quick Spoon, I reflect on an observation from Dr Ryan Kemp about our culture's focus on the immediate — "now, do it, enjoy it, live for the moment." That got me thinking about what we do when we've had a difficult experience. We feel stressed, so we distract ourselves. We feel frustrated, so we vent. We feel uncomfortable, so we do something that takes the edge off. And sometimes that's exactly what we need. But what if the relief gets in the way of the reflection? What if we never quite get to ask: What is this experience trying to tell me? So here's something to try. The next time you find yourself looking for some immediate relief, give yourself a little space before you reach for it. What might I learn if I stayed with this for a little while? This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp about addiction. 🎧 Listen to the full conversation: When the Future Gets Smaller: Dr Ryan Kemp on Addiction People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use. If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful. Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human. Transcending Addiction by Ryan Kemp Connect with Ryan on LinkedIn