
Show Notes
Today on the podcast we have Chris Rackliffe, also known as @crackliffe. He is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach, and author of the new self-help book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment—available exclusively on Amazon beginning November 19, 2024. Chris has worked with countless clients across five continents to help them heal their anxious attachment style and grow more secure, sharing everything he’s learned on his own healing journey—from how to integrate trauma and regulate the nervous system, to how to effectively communicate and set boundaries. With a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Miami—and an honorary Ph.D. in the “School of Life”—Chris has made it his sole purpose to help others find peace, perspective, purpose, and power through their trauma.
We discuss:
-Why it's important to know your needs for relationship health and satisfaction.
-How to identify and meet your needs.
-How to measure if your needs are being met within your relationship.
-Creating a balanced approach of give and take.
-When to stay or leave your relationship.
Contact and work with Chris:
Check his my website and TikTok!
Get your copy of his first book, It's Good to See Me Again, on Amazon now.
Contact and work with Jessica:
10 Week Attachment Coaching
Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
More from LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS
You know your attachment style and understand your triggers, but still fall into the same patterns. In this episode, I share personal experiences and relatable examples to explore emotional awareness versus emotional maturity, and how to move from explaining your reactions to pausing, communicating, and repairing.
Are you asking for too much or asking someone who can’t give you what you need? In this episode, we explore the difference between valid needs and unrealistic expectations, how to ask without pressuring, and when to accept someone’s limits or walk away. Your needs matter. So does their capacity.
What does your attachment style cause you to sacrifice in order to keep a relationship? In this episode, I explore how anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment can influence what we tolerate, give up, or mistake for “healing” in relationships, and how to tell the difference between healthy compromise and losing yourself. We’ll also explore one important question: What is this relationship costing me to stay? --> Work with me: Apply for 1:1 Attachment Coaching --> Go deeper: Join my What Would Secure Me Do? Substack for attachment exercises, prompts, and practical tools to help you build more secure relationships.
Dating after loving an avoidant can change the way you experience connection, chemistry, and even security. In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve learned personally and professionally about dating more securely—without letting old attachment patterns choose for you. Ready to go deeper with your attachment patterns? Learn more about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with me.
In this episode, I’m talking about what it looks like to date securely after loving someone with anxious attachment. We’ll explore how an anxious relationship can shape the way you experience closeness, independence, reassurance, and even another person’s disappointment—and how those experiences can follow you into future relationships. I also unpack the difference between healthy relational needs and emotional overdependence, where avoidant patterns may need accountability too, and how to stop carrying old relationship fears into new connections. Because healing isn’t about finding someone who needs nothing from you—it’s learning how to create interdependence, where you can love someone, honor their needs, and still remain connected to yourself. If you’ve ever wondered, “Was I abandoning myself, or was intimacy simply asking me to stretch?” this episode will help you begin separating the two—and come back to the question: What Would Secure Me Do?®