007: Interview With My Partner: A Personal Account On Navigating Our Queer Neurodivergent Relationship
Unshaming AuDHDShow Notes
In this deeply personal and insightful episode, Jes sits down with their partner of five years to have an open and honest conversation about what it's like to build a strong, healthy relationship as two neurodivergent and traumatized individuals. As an autistic ADHDer herself, and with her partner also being autistic and dyspraxic, they've navigated their fair share of unique challenges and triumphs in their relationship. From the unconventional beginnings of their love story, to learning to navigate each other's emotional landscapes, to dividing household responsibilities in a way that plays to their respective strengths - Jes and her partner pull back the curtain on the inner workings of their neurodivergent partnership. Listeners will gain valuable insights on topics like radical acceptance, emotional co-regulation, and the importance of open communication and trust. Jes and her partner also discuss how their past traumas and abusive relationships shaped their current dynamic, and the beauty that can emerge when two people are willing to be vulnerable and meet each other where they're at. Whether the listener is in a neurodivergent relationship themselves, or simply wants to better understand what that experience can look like, this episode offers a rare, unfiltered glimpse into the realities and rewards of loving someone who thinks a little differently. Jes and her partner share their story and the lessons they've learned along the way.
(description generated by otter.ai)
Links & Resources:
AuDHD Summer Camp:https://www.jesdiverges.com/audhdsummercamp Jes’s Website:https://www.jesdiverges.com Jes’s Email:[email protected]
Join My Email List:https://www.jesdiverges.com/newsletter Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jesdiverges TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@jesdiverges Substack:https://substack.com/@jesdiverges
Transcript Document:https://tinyurl.com/UnshamingAuDHDTranscripts
More from Unshaming AuDHD
In this episode of UnShaming AuDHD, hosts Jes Diverges and Javelin Laurence explore how neurodivergent individuals can avoid burning out while attempting to recover from or prevent AuDHD burnout. They unpack how traditional self-care or recovery practices often turn into rigid expectations that compound exhaustion and prolong recovery. The hosts define AuDHD burnout as a deep mismatch between demands and capacity, contrasting it with standard career burnout and highlighting severe impacts like skill regression. To catch approaching burnout early, Jes and Javelin share personal yellow and red flags, including apathy toward favorite hobbies, difficulty cooking, and heightened irritability. They discuss practical, low-demand strategies such as "no expectation days" and "task tiering" to safely lower life's difficulty volume and dismantle all-or-nothing thinking. Finally, the hosts emphasize radical acceptance, releasing artificial urgency, and honoring one's individual capacity without guilt or shame.
In this two-part episode, Jes and Javelin explore how growing up Catholic and evangelical (respectively) shaped their beliefs, and how they each found their way into witchcraft, tarot, and more expansive, queer-affirming spirituality. They talk about magic as “science we haven’t explained yet,” the power of placebo, talismans, and ritual, and why neurodivergent brains often thrive on phases instead of rigid consistency. Together, they unpack shame, “good vs bad person” thinking, capitalism, and the myth of being fundamentally broken—offering play, silliness, and wholehearted choice as deeply spiritual practices.
In this two-part episode, Jes and Javelin explore how growing up Catholic and evangelical (respectively) shaped their beliefs, and how they each found their way into witchcraft, tarot, and more expansive, queer-affirming spirituality. They talk about magic as “science we haven’t explained yet,” the power of placebo, talismans, and ritual, and why neurodivergent brains often thrive on phases instead of rigid consistency. Together, they unpack shame, “good vs bad person” thinking, capitalism, and the myth of being fundamentally broken—offering play, silliness, and wholehearted choice as deeply spiritual practices.
New co-host Javelin Laurence joins Jes to talk about all things hobbies as an autistic ADHDer. They discuss what makes a hobby a hobby, how auDHDers tend to interact with their hobbies (or not), and Javelin shares their three rules for sustainable, long lasting hobby-having.
In this episode, I dive into what I actually mean when I say “unshaming auDHD.” I discuss how shame is not an emotion, but a lens through which we learn to view ourselves. I also talk about where shame comes from, and how to acknowledge and work with it by developing a counteractive voice called a loving witness.