Show Notes
From the Very First Try to Six Months In Some women come to this decision with a clear plan. Alex came with a deadline: if I'm still single at 30, I'm doing it on my own. She hit 30. She went to Bali to celebrate. She came home and got her AMH checked. It was on the lower end of normal. That was enough. What followed was three years, a recruited known donor in Victoria, two early miscarriages, a laparoscopy that found stage two endometriosis she never knew she had, multiple egg retrievals across a bulk bill IVF clinic in Queensland and then their full service program, unexplained implantation failure, a double embryo transfer that finally worked, and a pregnancy spent anxious and cautiously hopeful. All while working full time in a state manager role in child protection — and parenting a 16-year-old foster daughter who has lived with her for the past three years. Ollie was born on the 23rd of January via planned caesarean — except the plan didn't go to plan. Nineteen attempts between the cannula and the spinal tap, a previous spinal surgery that made anaesthesia almost impossible, a general anaesthetic she didn't want, and a best friend waiting outside the theatre. He was out and detached from the anaesthetic in under four minutes. He had some trouble breathing, went briefly to special care, and eventually came up to Alex's room that night. He is now six and a half months old. He has a cow's milk protein allergy requiring prescription formula. He has been to Canberra, Bali and Darwin and is heading to Europe next month. He sleeps through the night. He gets his morning cuddle from his big sister before he's even properly awake. And Alex calls him a unicorn. This is a two-part episode — Part 1 covers the journey to 25 weeks pregnant, Part 2 picks up from birth to now. In this episode:
Working in child protection and becoming respite carer to two children at 21
Her 16-year-old foster daughter who now lives with her full-time — and the younger one who comes every fortnight
Deciding at 30 to stop waiting — AMH results, initial fertility investigations, and the decision to try a recruited known donor first
Finding her donor on Facebook: the legal agreement, the counselling, the interstate coordination, and why doing it properly mattered
Getting pregnant on the first try — and an early miscarriage
Nearly 12 months of home insemination with two early losses, a referral to an early miscarriage specialist, insulin levels treated at a lower threshold, and metformin
Moving to a bulk bill IVF clinic in Queensland — out-of-town scans in Adelaide, flying up for retrievals and transfers, three bulk bill cycles
Stage two endometriosis found during a laparoscopy — no symptoms, no history, discovered during an egg retrieval
Moving to the full service program: 16 eggs, six or seven embryos, and still unexplained implantation failure
Genetic testing the embryos — half weren't chromosomally normal, three tested normal
A double embryo transfer (one tested, one C-grade untested) — one took. She'll never know which.
Early pregnancy with anxiety, a suspected ectopic, a bleed at 5 weeks, a night in hospital
A gender reveal, a boy, and a dad who is very excited about his first grandson
Ollie arriving at 38 weeks via general anaesthetic — 14 cannula attempts, 9 spinal tap attempts, and a best friend waiting outside
Ollie in special care, feeding journey, and the lactation consultant who gave Alex permission to formula feed
Cow's milk protein allergy, prescription formula, and why Alex now advises every pregnant woman to bring a tin to hospital just in case
Circadian rhythm sorted by two weeks, sleeping through the night by six weeks, napping properly from three months
Bali at four months — what worked, what didn't, and the five-dollar porter who changed everything
A 16-year-old who gets Ollie up every morning, takes the backseat in the car, and saves her wages to buy him presents
Keeping one-on-one time
More from No need for Prince Charming
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The Plan Always Had a Next Step Claire always knew she'd be a mum. She told her mum at 18 that if she didn't find someone, she'd do it on her own. Her mum said she wouldn't need to. Claire filed that away and thought: well, if I do, I'm fine with it. At 30 she decided she was financially ready, had ticked off enough of her travel list, and started. She didn't make a big announcement. When she eventually told people, nobody was surprised. What followed was not the quick journey she'd hoped for. A pre-existing endometriosis diagnosis from 19 sent her straight to IVF with her doctor at Monash IVF Bondi Junction — no IUI, no mucking around. But what nobody had picked up was that Claire had a thin endometrial lining — a four or five, when the transfer window needs a seven to ten. Medicated cycles were cancelled last minute. PRP (platelet-rich plasma) treatment was tried repeatedly. There was no clear reason why. The Mirena she'd had in was the best guess. The first IVF cycle itself went beautifully — 12 eggs, 12 fertilised, five AA-grade embryos. And then none of them worked. She went through all five. Two of the transfers resulted in early losses at five weeks. She didn't know yet that she'd got COVID during her injections cycle. She still wonders. Second cycle. New protocol. PGTA testing this time. Four embryos. And then — right as she was preparing for her next transfer — she was caught in the NSW donor audit. Her overseas donor had been over-allocated to NSW beyond the state's family limit. The clinic emailed: we don't know if you'll be able to use this donor anymore. Possibly ever. She had just had a miscarriage. She had no next step for the first time in the entire journey. It was, she says, almost as hard as the losses. A solo mum she'd never met found everyone affected, organised them, told them who to email and what to say, and kept going until the clinic made an exemption. Claire had two vials of sperm left and was permitted to continue. On the 22nd of October, she transferred. Augie arrived nine months later. He is nine weeks old, already looks entirely like his donor, and has Claire's blood type — and that, apparently, is it. At 36 weeks Claire moved from Sydney to Orange to live with her parents for the year — her mum is a midwife, lactation consultant, and child and family health nurse, which turned out to matter enormously in the first weeks of breastfeeding. She'll move into her own place in January, set up a home daycare, and take Augie to Bali in between. She's the first to say she's more capable than she thought she'd be. In this episode: