39. Mum Hacks: It Feels Like Cheating. It's Worked for Six Months.

Only 5% of the most-watched ADHD videos tell you what to do next. The misleading ones get millions more views. You’ve saved hundreds of them. They all say the same thing: that’s me. So does social media make ADHD worse? A listener asked me exactly that, and halfway through asking, she lost her own train of thought. I get into the question underneath it. Not what the reels make you feel, but what they’ve actually changed. Plus a 10-minute sort for the saved folder on your phone that you can do tonight. And why one piece of anonymous feedback changed the whole direction of this podcast. New here? Start with these episodes More on moving past ‘that’s me’: ADHD and Survival Mode: How to Stop Trying Harder and Actually Thrive (with Rachel Few) The lipoedema surgery I mention: The Real Cost of Lipedema Surgery in Australia References Sieferle, K., Guidi, T., Dorr, F., & Bitzer, E. M. (2025). Quality and perception of ADHD content on TikTok. JMIR Infodemiology. Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and ADHD: a cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313 All the top rated episodes sorted by topic 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group 👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox Mentioned in this episode: Free Resources Free Resouces

Have you ever looked at your two children — one whose needs are loud, out front, impossible to miss, and one who just gets on with it — and quietly told yourself the second one's fine? Have you ever not gone looking, because who goes hunting for a problem in the child who seems okay, when the other one is taking everything you've got? The quiet one learns to need nothing at all. And it can cost her for years before anyone notices. Emily Jade O'Keeffe was that child — the good girl next to the brother everyone could see — and she didn't spot it in her own daughter until someone else did. RESOURCES & REFERENCES Free Resources The Quiet Exclusion Kit — for the child who copes, complies, and slips under the radar — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/ After Your Diagnosis Kit — for the grown 'good girl' who's just realised it was her too — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mum-after-diagnosis-kit/ Paid Resources ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — for the one who learned to need nothing, working out what she actually needs now — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-reset-workbook-values-energy-planning-for-adhd-mums/ ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/ Related Episodes ADHD and Marriage: We Separated for 18 Months. Then He Got Diagnosed — with Emily Jade O'Keeffe — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/husband-adhd-diagnosis-saved-marriage/ Uncovering the Subtle Traits of Autistic Daughters — with Eliza Harris — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-62-uncovering-the-subtle-traits-of-autistic-daughters/ About the Guest Emily Jade O'Keeffe is a Gold Coast broadcaster who's been number one on breakfast radio for years (102.9, weekdays 5–9am), and she hosts her own podcast, Move Over Mama, with her 14-year-old daughter Millie — interviewing people about who they were as teens and what shaped them. She grew up the eldest of five in a neurodivergent country-town family, and came to her own diagnosis as an adult, after her husband and children. https://www.moveovermama.com/ 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313 Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group 👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox Mentioned in this episode: Free Resources Free Resouces

She mentioned a friend called Kel. That was it. That was the whole thing. Twelve seconds, and you'd filed her under no vacancy, decided your kids didn't match, and worked out she already had a Tuesday person. Then the term ended and you didn't sign up again, and she probably has no idea any of it happened. This episode is about the forecast you make in the first few seconds, and whether it was ever true. Related Episodes Every RSD episode in one place → https://tr.ee/RSD Navigating School Pick-Up & Social Settings — how ADHD and autistic mums read social situations, how neurotypical people do, and how to bridge the gap → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/surviving-school-pick-up/ References: Erhardt & Hinshaw 1994; Blachman & Hinshaw 2002. 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313 Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group 👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox Mentioned in this episode: Free Resources Free Resouces

Nine good comments in the performance review. One 'area for growth'. Three days later you can still quote the one, word for word. You couldn't name a single one of the nine. That's ADHD rejection sensitivity, and the usual fixes don't touch it. Don't take it personally. Keep a praise folder. You've tried. There's a reason the nine never land, and it's not that you're too sensitive. More episodes on RSD If this one hits, listen next: Why You Can't Accept Kindness: Masking, Surface Acting and the Wall That Blocks Love In Free Resources Available here References Mylett et al. (2026). Social camouflaging in adults with ADHD. Research in Neurodiversity. McKinney et al. (2024). Camouflaging in neurodivergent and neurotypical girls. JCPP Advances. Wicherkiewicz & Gambin (2024). Camouflaging, life satisfaction and depression in women with ADHD. J Autism Dev Disord. Swann, De La Ronde & Hixon (1994). Authenticity and positivity in marriage and courtship. JPSP. Kwang & Swann (2010). Do people embrace praise even when they feel unworthy? PSPR. 📬 Listener Questions & Community 🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice) Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead. Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313 All the top rated episodes sorted by topic 👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group 👥 Receive the episodes in your inbox Mentioned in this episode: Free Resources Free Resouces

You did Pilates every week for a year. Then you bought the reformer so you'd never have to drive there again. You haven't done Pilates since. Now there's a new idea that won't leave you alone, and it feels exactly like the last one did on day one. So how do you know if this one's real? That's the ADHD hyperfocus question a listener sent in. She's been a teacher for 27 years. For the last few years something's been building in her: she wants to start a neurodivergent-affirming school. She's even gathered a small group who want in. But she's asking whether it's her real direction, or just another collection of ADHD ideas. I didn't feel qualified to answer that. I've moved house more times than I'd like to admit, and I once had a magnificent pros and cons list for a move to acreage. Every reason on it was true. Two years later, we're moving back to the beach. So I went looking for a better way to tell a hyperfocus from a real passion than checking how strongly you feel it. The feeling is where most of us go first. It's also the one thing that can't give you the answer. There's the graveyard of hyperfocuses: the garden beds, the online course with no modules done, the podcast that got two episodes. Most of us read that pile as a verdict on our character. It might be the most useful data you've got. Then there's the advice ADHDers get about new ideas, like 'finish what you start before you start something new'. That one was never going to work for a brain that makes this many ideas. And there are three tests to try before you quit the job, or buy the gear. Related episodes: When You Keep Starting the Same Thing – And It Never Gets Finished Tis the Season to Overspend: ADHD Mum vs. Impulse Shopping