Show Notes
Welcome to Episode 10 of The Tortoise, the podcast (plodcast!) that digs deep into the possibilities of slow. You can listen to the podcast right here, or if you’d prefer, subscribe via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite pod-dealing platform. If you’re new to The Tortoise — Welcome! Thank you for coming over! — you can sign up to the newsletter below to make sure you don’t miss an episode of the pod, and you’ll also receive a slow-living letter in your inbox every Thursday-ish. The Topic: Top Ten of 2023 Back in the days of The Slow Home Pod, we used to record a ‘Top 10’ episode at the end of every year, where we would list some of our favourite moments, experiences, places, films etc. It felt like a nice excuse to look back, and a relaxed way to wind up. So, we decided to bring it back this year for The Tortoise. Before we get into our Top Ten lists though, Ben and I spend some time reflecting more broadly on the year — lessons we’ve learnt, successes and failures we’ve had. We started out with fairly measured expectations, “2023: just don’t suck!” and overall, I think we achieved that, which actually feels good considering how low the bar was in the first place! Perhaps unsurprisingly, we both struggle to keep our answer succinct as we dive into our Top Tens, but it was a lot of fun to try. Listen in as we walk through our favourite: * TV show * Small detail * Movie * New destination * Book (you know I failed to limit this one) * Discovery * Album * New listening (podcast or otherwise) * Meal * Experience It’s a fun thing to do together, and we’d love to hear your own Top Ten list for 2023. As Ben says, it also gives us loads of ideas to check out next year (I think many of my book selections come from you, so thank you!) Do you have any stand-out favourites? The Links Below is a list of links discussed in today’s episode. If I’ve forgotten any, please let me know in the comments: * The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune * Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo * Nightbirds by Kate J. Armstrong * Isles of the Gods by Amie Kaufman * The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson * Holly by Stephen King * Fairy Tale by Stephen King * Blurry Vision by Shred Kelly * Too Hot for Gravy by Seamus McAlary * Rat Saw God by Wednesday * Ecstasy of Gold by Ennio Morriccone * Rise Up (orchestral version) by The Fat Rat * How Other Dads Dad by Hamish Blake * Matildas vs France penalty shootout * Join The Tortoise community on Substack * Subscribe to the podcast in your favourite app (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, etc) We’re taking a break now, which means no new podcast episode in January, but I have scheduled a couple of posts to come out early next year. One on values and one on defining our 1% experiments. I hope they arrive in your inbox at a time that feels full of possibility and curiosity. Thank you again for your support this year as we launched this new, unedited, slice of life plodcast. We had no idea if anyone would enjoy it, and seeing the response has been brilliant. We can’t wait for next year. (Well, that’s not technically true. We’re in need of a break. Then we’ll be back!) Wishing you and yours a restful, restorative, joyful break. Brooke and Ben xx
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit brookemcalary.substack.com/subscribe
More from the tortoise & the hare
In this week's episode, Brooke & Ben explore the duality of selfish & selfless. They get a little word-nerdy as they look at the different definitions and explore the traits of a truly selfish person. They also explore the relationship between selfishness, selflessness and self-care, why single-mindedness (and by extension, neurodivergence) can read as being self-absorbed, before Ben quizzes Brooke on…shellfish. They also talk about: * why children and teenagers are often self-centred * periods of life when we’re more likely to be selfish * unaddressed resentment * why knowing our personal values can help manage the balance * the line between self-love and self-absorption * QUIZ: name that shellfish! Thanks for listening! Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com
Whether it’s food, beauty products, or the state of our home, describing something as ‘clean’ also implies there is ‘dirty’, an idea that carries a lot of guilt and shame. In this week’s episode, Brooke and Ben dig into a new duality by looking at food, home, green-cleaning and more. Ben talks about the brosphere — specifically the rise of ‘clean eating’ and its impact on boys and young men — and Brooke talks about her conflicted feelings on individual responsibility versus industry accountability. Ben also shares his honest take on Brooke’s hardcore green-cleaning and no-shampoo hippie eras, as well as the tidiness of their house as a barometer of mental well-being and why the internet will never agree on how often to clean the walls. They also talk about: · dropping their standards · why kids can be a balancing influence on all-or-nothing thinking · using righteous anger to fuel our enoughness · making small changes in the face of systemic problems · quality versus quantity and how a bit of fussiness isn’t a bad thing · the painful gap between the why and how of things · knowing when a fight is worthwhile and when it’s not · the importance of language around food and health and why men and women experience it differently · what it means to be ‘houseproud’ · QUIZ: how often do you need to clean a ____? Thanks for listening! Links: Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com Become a paying supporter of ttath and get double the episodes! Weekly shows delivered straight to your inbox for just $8AUD/month or $80AUD/yr. If video is your jam, subscribe to our YouTube channel @thetortoiseandthehare Access the full, human-made transcript here Credits: the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production. Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary Edited by Ben McAlary Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic
Prompted by a listener question, this week’s episode is about Brooke and Ben’s relationship with alcohol and how it’s changed over the past five years. Brooke shares why she never really wanted to use the word ‘sober’ to describe herself and how healing helped her let go of rigid ideas on drinking vs not drinking. Ben discusses the role drinking culture has had on his life and why he thinks other countries do it better than Australia. They also talk about wasted days, the toll drinking takes and the flip-side: the high cost of complete restriction. It’s a vulnerable chat but it feels important to share. They also discuss: - their respective relationships with alcohol — then and now - Brooke’s experience with quitting — why, how and what she told people about it - what was lost and gained - how learning to have fun sober has been a game-changer - the physiological effects of alcohol and why Brooke used it as a social crutch - why moralising could have a negative effect on their family - how to step back from a restrictive mindset and soften the language we use - why we still do things we know to be “bad” for us - the difference between preferences and non-negotiables - what Brooke and Ben would tell themselves 10 years ago Thanks for listening! Links: Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com Become a paying supporter of ttath and get double the episodes! Weekly shows delivered straight to your inbox for just $8AUD/month or $80AUD/yr. If video is your jam, subscribe to our YouTube channel @thetortoiseandthehare and watch today's episode Access the full, human-made transcript here Credits: the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production. Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary Edited by Ben McAlary Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic
In today’s episode, Brooke and Ben dive into different ways of thinking — open and closed, fixed and fluid and whatever exists in between. They discuss their different approaches to rule-following, how they deal with opinion chameleons and why finding common ground is one of the most effective ways to have a constructive conversation. Ben also explains why he loves playing the devil’s advocate (and why Brooke finds it infuriating!) and finishes with a hard-hitting question: rigid or flexible lollies — which is better? They discuss: hypersensitivity Brooke’s EMDR experience dealing with narrow-minded people chameleon opinions and why they’re so confusing rule-followers vs rebels improving cognitive flexibility how to engage different opinions without losing your mind why hope hurts sometimes the great lolly debate: rigid vs flexible Thanks for listening! Links: Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com Credits: the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production. Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary Edited by Ben McAlary Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic
When it comes to age and youth, body image takes a beating at both ends. Can we find a gentler way through the years? In today’s show, Brooke and Ben discuss the duality of wrinkles & pimples — i.e. the visible elements of youth and aging — and how they are literally in the middle of it right now, with both wrinkles and pimples (and grey hair and stiff backs in the morning). They discuss: - changing body image in their mid-40s- why gender-affirming care (including hair removal, plastic surgery, make-up and hormone therapy) should be accessible to everyone- the changing role of body image for boys and men over the past decade- what our faces and bodies are actually for- the billionaires who want to live forever and go to great lengths to avoid aging Thanks for listening! Links: - Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com - Become a paying supporter of ttath and get double the episodes! Weekly shows delivered straight to your inbox for just $5AUD/month for a limited time- If video is your jam, subscribe to our YouTube channel @thetortoiseandthehare Credits: - the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.- Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary- Edited by Ben McAlary- Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio- Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic