Healing Our Inner Child In Service to Conscious Parenting - What Does That Look Like?
Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious ParentingShow Notes
What can happen when two friends (who happen to be therapists) support each other to explore wounds and triggers with the intention of becoming a more loving parent? What does the process of tracking our triggers back in time look like? What does it mean to love the child we once were? In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea supports Cara as she navigates recent feelings of low-level anxiety, gently guiding her through these sensations using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. Together, they uncover how Cara’s current worries around parenting link back to her inner child’s past experiences, where autonomy was frequently disrespected. As Cara witnesses her 2 year old now, who was assigned female at birth, growing into an independent young person, she feels echoes of her own confusion, fear, and vulnerability from childhood. Through their candid conversation, Rythea helps Cara see how these unprocessed parts of herself are reawakened in her parenting, leading to worries about her child’s safety and independence that are, in fact, deeply rooted in her own experiences. This powerful episode delves into the complexity of parenting while carrying unhealed parts from our past, revealing how these fears and anxieties often stem from the ways we were left alone or felt afraid in our formative years. Listeners will resonate with the theme of self-compassion as Cara and Rythea explore how parents can become more aware of when they’re projecting past experiences onto their children. They also discuss practical strategies for recognizing and calming these inner parts, helping listeners to parent from a place of clarity and presence rather than reactivity and fear. Key Takeaways: - How IFS parts work can help parents separate their past experiences from their current parenting challenges. - Understanding how unresolved childhood feelings can fuel anxieties about our children’s independence. - Tools and strategies to recognize when fears about our kids are rooted in our own experiences. - The importance of self-compassion and curiosity when exploring inner parts and past wounds. Tune in for an episode that will leave you feeling understood, inspired, and ready to bring greater mindfulness into your parenting journey. -- It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck Book with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapy Book with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession
More from Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting
S3EP23 — Content Advisory: This episode discusses healing from childhood sexual abuse. While co-host Cara is on maternity leave, Rythea welcomes in Season 4 with a solo episode. Rythea weaves in and out of her horrific upbringing, her loving relationship with her daughter, the temporal news of the release of the Epstein files and how it is impacting her at this time. As she shares more about her abusive childhood and how she copes, she links her experiences to parenting and helping other parents. Not only does Rythea draw parallels to details within the Epstein files to her own life, she also offers a bright light of hope, showing that unfreezing past wounds can—and inevitably will—lead to a more free, full, and beautiful experience of life. Rythea doesn’t sugar coat how difficult recalling suppressed memories has been (which are still happening to this day), but amidst a deeply difficult topic of abuse comes a passionate and inspired message of healing. In this loving and generous episode, Rythea talks to you like a friend, allowing her vulnerability to lead her (and you) through questions and answers that cut to the core of what it means to be conscious, awake, and fighting the oppressive systems we live in, as a parent and as a person. Key Topics Unfreezing past wounds Suppressed memories Healing from a traumatic childhood Breaking the cycle to generational abuse
S3EP22 — We are joined by Amy Niemczyk, a parent (just like you!) whose family dynamic has drastically shifted since adopting the non-coercive, collaborative parenting philosophy. This is an excellent episode for parents who are searching for concrete tools for navigating kids’ physical expression (like biting) and resolving sibling struggles. Amy and her partner are the parents to four young children who have been on this journey for just over three years. Amy shares how she struggled with letting go of screen time control as her seven year old autonomously navigated balance, and how she turned toward love and not shame to work through weeks of her three year old pinching her. Her stories go deeper than the parent-child dynamic, seeping into the sibling relationships as well. Rythea and Cara are moved by Amy’s earnest and heart-felt admission of the changes she’s experienced with her children: how removing authority from her parenting paradigm revealed a deep love both with her children and within herself. Key topics: The tornado faze Guiding kids toward their autonomy Collaborative parenting as a model for repair after rupture Non-coercive parenting as a deep act of self love and personal healing Resources mentioned: Vivek Patel Rythea’s Facebook Parent-Support group Rythea’s parent-mentor sessions Cara's Relationship Toolkit
S3EP21 — How do attachment wounds impact our ability to see our children as separate from us, and even from our own parents? We discuss the incredible, unconscious urge to replay our attachment pains onto our children, and what it takes to recognize (and change) those impulses within the non-coercive, collaborative approach. Join Rythea and Cara as they get vulnerable about their personal attachment histories and current struggles as parents. They go deep about self-love and the challenge to heal after a childhood of broken attachments. Rythea offers a powerful parenting tool she calls “The Psychic Apology” where parents can take accountability through intention and visualization. Cara discusses life with a free-feeling toddler and how to recognize covert blocks to healthy attachment. Key Topics: Attachment to our caregivers is a survival need Can we REALLY heal our attachment trauma? Attachment styles and its relation to Internal Family Systems Resources Mentioned: The Will to Change by Bell Hooks Vivek’s Parent-Support group Rythea’s Facebook Parent-Support group:
S1 EP7 re-release — We dive into a Q&A format addressing two thought-provoking questions from our listeners. Question one comes from a non-parent who comes to terms with the ways in which their own parents hurt them. Many of us grapple with the realization that our parents may have unintentionally or intentionally hurt us in the past, but the decision to confront them as an adult is a complex one. We share our insights on whether it's the right time for one listener to tackle this emotionally charged issue. Drawing from our experience as therapists, we discuss the potential benefits and risks of such a conversation. Question two, we discuss another listener’s question around effective ways to apologize and reconnect with your child after moments of rupture where we feel we’ve acted out of alignment with our values. We provide practical tips for repairing the parent-child relationship and explore what a sincere, relationship-focused, and deeply meaningful apology looks and sounds like. Stay tuned for more Q&A episodes in Season 4, and write us your questions at [email protected] Key Topics: Confronting parents about past harm: timing, risks, and potential benefits Navigating the complexity of deciding whether or not to bring up a painful history with your parents Therapist insights on healing past wounds without re-traumatizing yourself Repairing connection with your child after rupture What a meaningful, values-aligned apology to your child sounds like in practice Practical strategies for rebuilding trust and modeling accountability between parent and child Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck Book a mentor session with Rythea https://calendly.com/rythea Connect with Cara https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/ We (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited. We are committed to featuring guests from diverse lived experiences to reflect the realities of a broader parenting community. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our work. Rate & Review: Your feedback helps us reach more families who are parenting with presence, resistance, and love. Let us know what this episode stirred in you.
S2 EP1 re-release: Let's talk coparenting relationships and collaborative parenting! Joined by Rythea's partner Will and Cara's husband Sanjay, the conversation unfolds into a heartfelt exploration of parenting dynamics and philosophies. Sanjay and Will offer unique perspectives on parenting, bringing diverse backgrounds and value systems to the table. Together, they share their personal journeys into the realm of non-coercive parenting, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs encountered along the way. Listeners gain insight into the reasons behind Will and Sanjay's embrace of non-coercive parenting as a guiding philosophy. Drawing from their own experiences and upbringing, they reflect on how traditional parenting models shaped their worldview and the pivotal moments that led them to explore alternative approaches. You'll hear about the nuances of non-coercive parenting, with Will and Sanjay candidly discussing the toughest aspects of adopting this mindset. From confronting societal norms to reconciling with their own upbringing, they offer a raw and honest portrayal of the obstacles faced on their journey. Tune in to this heartfelt and illuminating episode of YKDS to discover what it's like for non-mothers to parent in a way that challenges convention and nurtures connection!