Show Notes
We’re often told we’re in the midst of a post-Covid “loneliness epidemic”, but what exactly does that mean? Loneliness is a profound condition that goes right to the heart of being human - it’s certainly more than just being alone, and often it isn’t something that can be addressed by just “getting out more” or volunteering at the local hospital. This week’s guest Dr Sam Carr became interested in attachment theory, and was then drawn to seek a deeper understanding of people who lacked attachment. He embarked on a study of loneliness that will be shared in his forthcoming book, All the Lonely People. Andrew and Sam discuss types of loneliness - existential, the loneliness of a difficult relationship, objective vs subjective loneliness - and look at different ways to address it, including the Jungian path of finding solace and direction in our dreams. If You’re Looking for More…. You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50. This week supporters will hear: ⭐️How internet porn affects romantic life ⭐️Three things Sam Carr knows to be true. ⭐️AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Attend Andrew’s couple’s retreat near Berlin in June 2026 or men's retreat in April 2026: details here Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools Read Andrew’s new Substack newsletter The Meaningful Life, and join the community there. Sam Carr’s book All the Lonely People can be preordered here. Read some of Sam Carr’s articles for theconversation.com: Loneliness, loss and regret: what getting old really feels like – new study Parenting practices around the world are diverse and not all about attachment How internet porn affects romantic life Why mourning a pet can be harder than grieving for a person Are you a shark or a teddy? How understanding conflict styles can help you overcome fights with friends and family Andrew and Sam discuss The Men on My Couch by Brandy Engler. You can find it here. Andrew also mentions other episodes of this podcast, including How to be Resilient with James Hollis and Being a Mother with Lisa Marchiano. Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall
More from The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall
Family secrets can live on for generations, shaping our lives in ways we may not recognise or fully understand. In this episode Andrew talks to Dr Galit Atlas, author of Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma about how our struggles in life are linked to the emotional inheritance we receive from our families. Dr Atlas is a psychoanalyst and clinical supervisor in private practice in Manhattan.She is a clinical assistant professor on the faculty of the New York University Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy & Psychoanalysis and faculty at the National Training Program (NTP) and the Four-Year Adult training program at the National Institute for the Psychotherapies (NIP) in New York City. Dr. Atlas has published three books for clinicians and numerous articles and book chapters that focus primarily on gender and sexuality. Her New York Times publication “A Tale of Two Twins” was the winner of a 2016 Gradiva Award
Child Proof Your Relationship. You love your children but if you focus too much on their needs and exhaust your relationship, that helps no one. From 40 years helping couples make better marriages, I know that many couples lose their way when they become parents. Day to day issues about getting them of to school in the morning and managing bedtimes can also disguise deeper conflicts about different parenting philosophies. It means that many couples arrive in my therapy office with lots of unresolved issues that are driving them apart. Lisa Bruton has a masters degree in integrative counselling and psychotherapy and an advanced diploma in couple’s therapy. She is a Mindfulness Facilitator and a guest tutor at Oxford University. Her speciality is helping couples not only be better parents but better partners too.
Love and relationships are already complicated, but they can feel even more so if you’re living with a mental health condition. This week author Allison Raskin talks about her experiences with OCD, and how overthinking can be managed in relationships and dating. How do you talk to a partner about your mental health? What is the difference between having valid concerns and catastrophising? What can you do if you’re overwhelmed by negative thoughts? Allison Raskin is a New York Times bestselling author and podcaster. Her latest book is Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression. She also has a highly successful YouTube channel, Just Between Us, and has worked as a screenwriter for Netflix, MTV and 20th Century Television.
One of the toughest challenges in a relationship is being able to forge our own individual selves. And it isn’t always something that gets easier over time. Our ability to create a strong separate self independent of a couple relationship is strongly influenced by how we grew up, and what our relationship with our parents was like. In this episode Andrew talks with psychosexual therapist Juliet Grayson about the question “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? Juliet Grayson provides extensive training courses and workshops for therapists, including training in attachment informed couple therapy, creative writing in the therapeutic encounter, and the Pesso Boyden system of psychotherapy. Her website hosts many informative webinars, covering numerous topics including shame, death and relationships.
When women and men argue, women can often be more comfortable in expressing their feelings of hurt and anger. Men can feel distressed by this strength of feeling, and may pull away emotionally. They may feel a very strong urge to occupy the ground of rationality and objectivity, which in turn leads their partner to push harder, desperately seeking emotional connection. Dr Avrum Weiss is a US-based author and psychotherapist specialising in the internal lives of men. His writing and his work with couples help men and women understand each other more deeply and build a stronger connection. In this episode Andrew and Dr Weiss discuss the emotion of anger and how our childhoods can influence our adult experiences of it. They share insights from Dr Weiss’ book Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men’s Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships , and look at how men and women can better understand each other’s internal world.