Show Notes
In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Austin and his wife Becca share how traumatic sexual experiences shaped their views of sexuality, secrecy, and control, and how that led Austin to pornography addiction. Austin describes hiding his compulsive porn use and masturbation due to fear and shame reinforced by religious shame, then later relapsing on his mission, engaging in digital relationships and sexting, and facing a highly shaming disciplinary process, including being labeled a “sexual predator,” disfellowshipped, and shamed by a therapist. Becca recounts being excluded from the process while engaged to be married, not learning full details years into marriage, while also navigating her own trauma and intimacy struggles. Through supportive therapy, Warrior Heart Boot Camp and Heart of a Woman Retreat, vulnerability, and surrendering to God, the two begin healing, rebuilding trust. Austin reaches nearly six months sobriety; they emphasize shared recovery, communication, and “Broken Together” as their song. Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]
Timestamps: 00:43 Meet Austin and Becca 01:53 Austin's Childhood Sexual Grooming 03:25 Porn Exposure and Control 05:23 Shame Culture and Secrecy 08:02 Becca’s Sexual Abuse 14:10 How Trauma Shaped Sexuality 15:37 Vulnerability and Early Disclosure 19:08 Mission Struggles and iPad Temptation 24:34 Confession and Church Discipline 28:29 Disfellowshipped and Silenced 29:03 Therapy That Shamed 30:41 Becca Left Outside 35:34 Marriage Under Pressure 39:28 A Bishop Who Got It 41:15 Finding Real Therapy 43:44 Warrior Heart Breakthrough 47:26 Healing as a Team 50:55 Rock Bottom to Surrender 56:40 Broken Together
More from Unashamed Unafraid
In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, the hosts discuss the “parts of ourselves” we want to kill—especially in sexual addiction recovery—and argue that shame-driven repression and white-knuckling only make things worse. Austin shares how growing up in a conservative culture led him to hide, berate, and try to “kill” his addiction, until he learned to face it with compassion: acknowledging the wounded, trauma-shaped part of himself without feeding compulsive behavior. The group explores identity, pushing back on making “addict” a permanent label, emphasizing being a son of God while distinguishing healthy desires from dark distortions. Using images like “hugging the cactus,” NF’s song “Running,” shadow work, and even Harry Potter, they describe confronting triggers, understanding what behaviors protect us from, and replacing shame and isolation with love, support, therapy, and faith. Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps: 00:43 Killing Parts of Yourself? 01:20 Austin On Shame 02:45 Hugging The Cactus 03:57 Labels And Identity 05:44 NF Running Trauma 09:23 White Knuckling Fails 09:57 Harry Potter Love 12:00 Triggers And Warfare 15:33 Shadow Work Advice 18:08 Closing And Wrap
In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam and Josh Bring back Michael from the Heare Bros (returning from a prior episode), who recaps his a spiritual/somatic session where he cast out the “accuser,” broke through a core belief of worthlessness, and felt transformative light and truth, then explains healing as increasing awareness, grieving wounds, and choosing connection over relapse. He discusses the process of healing and explains holotropic breathwork as a tool for accessing deeper consciousness, releasing pain, and connecting breath with spirit and God’s name, and offers resources for his Utah sessions and Hear Bros retreats. Connect with Mike: https://thelightinus.org https://hearebros.com/ Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps:
In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts discuss healthy, non-compulsive sexuality in recovery and emphasize that sex isn’t the problem—shame is. They share experiences of growing up with little guidance, early sexual curiosity and experimentation, exposure to pornography in the internet age, and how silence and shame intensified addiction. The conversation reframes sexuality as sacred and God-given, meant for connection and creation, while warning that misuse can damage relationships with God and others. They stress normalizing frank, respectful conversations, creating safety and boundaries in marriage, and seeking help through therapy and resources like Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. They explore six types of intimacy, explain how unmet emotional needs become sexualized, and challenge listeners to ask what sex means to them and if married, what their spouse hears when they request sex. Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps: 00:43 Is Sex The Problem? 01:04 Early Shame And Silence 03:46 Internet Porn And Shame 06:10 Talking With Kids 08:14 Sex Sacred Not Secret 11:23 Healthy Sex And Humor 13:32 How To Start The Conversation 15:22 Resources And Cultural Shame 17:25 Utah OnlyFans Joke 17:49 Therapy Reframes Sex 18:56 Five Month Reset 20:29 Asking Without Shame 22:58 Six Types of Intimacy 26:06 Needs Behind Desire 31:11 Safety and Boundaries 34:27 Receiving Pleasure 35:23 Sex Reveals Healing 36:52 Challenges and Wrap Up
In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts welcome Reuben Aiton, founder of Arise & Heal Recovery, who shares his background in addiction recovery coaching and his focus on helping teens and LDS clients move from external “kindling” motivations to internal, heart-based reasons for change. Reuben discusses his own story, including a pituitary tumor that delayed puberty, later struggles with pornography, and learning that sobriety can exist without true healing. He explains addiction as a disconnection issue where pornography is a “medication,” emphasizing connection with God, self, and others to raise awareness rather than fighting thoughts with more thoughts. Reuben describes a panic and claustrophobia crisis on a plane that led to new insights about stillness, surrender, and processing emotions without fixing them, and he outlines practical “primal” movement drills and daily habits to reboot the frontal lobe and reduce shame-driven relapse cycles. Take advantage of Reuben's resources here at https://ariseheal.org/ Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] 01:56 Meet Reuben Aiton 04:05 Why Teens Are Hard 06:06 Kindling Versus Log 08:24 Porn Is Not Problem 10:43 Reuben's Recovery Story 16:49 Panic Attack Flight 20:46 Alligator Thought Spin 22:53 Turning On The Light 25:21 Shame And God 27:44 The Atonement Is For You 29:04 Breaking Shame Goggles 30:20 Identity And Limiting Beliefs 32:34 Integrating Parts And Resistance 34:51 Process Emotions To Heal Beliefs 36:22 Urges As Pain Signals 43:46 Surrender Not Willpower 49:35 Resources And Contact Info 50:33 Eye Of The Tiger Wrap
In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam, Chris, Joshua, and Austin discuss sexual addiction recovery and why healing requires honesty, transparency, and coming unto Christ rather than hiding behind a so-called “noble lie” that hiding the truth somehow protects others. They praise Austin’s courage for disclosing a relapse after seven months and explore how lying creates unmanageable pain, escalates into a destructive web, and erodes trust in marriage by forcing a spouse to live in an untrue reality. They emphasize that sobriety without transparency becomes “white knuckling,” recommend reaching out to brotherhood first after relapse to manage shame and take accountability without excuses, and note rare cases where disclosure may require professional guidance. They challenge listeners to identify where they don’t feel safe and take responsibility for creating safety rather than continuing to lie. Make a donation and become an Outsider! Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Check out our recommended resources Want to rep the message? Shop our MERCH! For more inspiration, read our blog Do you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps: 00:43 Podcast Welcome and Banter 01:21 Relapse Courage and Noble Lie 02:08 VeggieTales and Pinocchio Lies 04:39 Why Lying Feels Safe But Isn't 05:50 Transparency Builds Recovery 06:32 Spouse Reality and Betrayal 10:31 Accountability and Brotherhood 12:34 Disclosure Safety and Coaching 14:22 Shame Versus Shaming Quote 16:35 Create Safety and Challenge 18:21 Call to Action and Wrap Up