How to Make Friends When You Don’t Drink

Okay, real question. Have you ever wanted someone to grab breakfast with, or take a class with, and then realized… you honestly don’t know who you’d ask?

Yeah. Why is making friends as an adult so damn awkward—and where are you supposed to meet people?

It gets even weirder when you quit drinking.

You might still love your friends, but you don’t want to spend every Saturday night watching them get drunk.

You want people you can laugh with, and conversations you’ll actually remember the next morning.

You just have no clue where those people are hiding.

And if you’re an introvert like me, someone telling you to “just put yourself out there” probably makes you want to throw your coffee at them.

I get it. I love being home. I need a lot of alone time.

I will never be the girl who walks into a room with her hand out, ready to chat everybody up.

But I’ve also learned that when I’ve gone days without talking to a real human, I need connection too.

And I had to learn how to do that without alcohol.

In this episode, I take you back to my early days in AA, when my anxiety was so bad I’d grab the corner seat and slip out early so nobody could talk to me.

I wanted so badly to stay sober and be comfortable, but I was doing everything I could to be invisible.

So I made a deal with myself to start changing my patterns, and my first step was a lot smaller than starting a conversation.

I also had to admit something kind of embarrassing: people weren’t approaching me in life because I wasn’t approachable.

Head down, sunglasses on, earbuds in, nose in my phone. Apparently that doesn’t say “come say hi.” Who knew? 😂

I’ll tell you how I made two friends, one from my gym and one from a tarot class (yes, really).

We’ll also talk about where to meet people, what to actually say, how you go from “hey, good to see you” to “want to grab breakfast?”, and what to do when someone says no.

You don’t have to turn into an extrovert.

You just have to let people get to know you.

And then you can go home and put your sweatpants on. 💛

Links mentioned in this episode:

Sober Society Membership: addictionunlimited.com/membership

Book A Call Here: addictionunlimited.com/call

Related Episode: Guaranteed Results When Your Social Life Is Stalled

Follow me on Instagram: @addictionunlimited

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited

Prefer to read instead of listen? Here’s the full transcript of this episode.

Hello, my friend. Welcome back to another episode of the Addiction Unlimited podcast. I’m your coach, Angela Pugh. Today we’re talking about something that can feel surprisingly difficult when you quit drinking: making friends. Because where the hell are adults supposed to meet people? You’re a grown-up. You have responsibilities and routines in a life that’s already pretty full. You’re not sitting next to somebody in school every day or

Living down the hall from a hundred other people who are also looking for something to do on Friday night. And when you take alcohol out of the picture, you may realize you don’t know what your social life looks like anymore. Maybe you still love your friends, but you don’t want to spend every weekend doing the things you used to do together. Maybe you want someone to have breakfast with or go for a walk, take a class, or have a conversation you’ll actually remember the next day.

You want connection. You just don’t know where to start.

Angela (01:23.47)

And if you’re an introvert or you’ve relied on alcohol to feel comfortable around people, the advice to just put yourself out there probably makes you want to throw something. So today we’re going to get more specific than that. Where do you go? How do you get past the anxiety? What do you say? And how do you build friendships without the liquid courage of alcohol, turning you into an outgoing person who wants to talk to everybody?

And I promise you, this is all possible because I am an extreme introvert. And if I can figure thi