
š¦ Your Baby Isn't a Newborn Anymore: Breastfeeding Changes at 3ā6 Months
Spill the Milk Breastfeeding PodcastShow Notes
Just when you think you've finally figured out breastfeeding⦠YOUR BABY CHANGES THE RULES! š Your baby used to breastfeed for 20 minutes, and now they're done in five. They used to fall asleep at the breast, and now they're popping off to look at EVERYTHING. They used to nurse every time you offered, and now they're turning away. They were sleeping longer stretches, and suddenly they're waking up at night again. And what happens? Mom starts questioning EVERYTHING. "Nicki, I think my baby is refusing the breast!" "Nicki, are we having a nursing strike?" "Nicki, is my milk supply dropping?" And one of my favorite questions to ask is: "Are they refusing the breastā¦or are they just not hungry?" Because those are two VERY different things! In this episode of Spill the Milk, we're talking about something I wish more moms understood: Your baby isn't supposed to breastfeed at five months the same way they did at five weeks. Babies grow. They develop. They become more aware of the world around them. And breastfeeding changes right along with them. We're talking about: š¦ Why breastfeeding changes around 3ā4 months š¦ Why YOUR BOOBS ARE BORING! š (How are you supposed to compete with a ceiling fan?) š¦ Why shorter, more efficient feeds can be completely normal š¦ Distracted breastfeeding and why your baby suddenly wants to look at EVERYTHING š¦ Breast refusal vs. simply not being hungry š¦ What a true nursing strike can look like š¦ Why your baby may no longer fall asleep after breastfeeding š¦ The four-month sleep regression and why night waking doesn't automatically mean low supply š¦ How your baby's comfort and regulation needs change š¦ Why softer breasts don't automatically mean less milk š¦ When feeding changes are normalāand when I want someone to take a closer look And we're having a bigger conversation about something moms really need to hear. At some point, I need you to start TRUSTING what you've learned about your baby. You've spent months learning their cues, their personality, and what a good feeding looks like. Don't let one new behavior convince you that you've forgotten everything you know. Sometimes breastfeeding isn't falling apart. Sometimes your baby is just growing up. š¤ And remember, I'm not saying every feeding change should be ignored. Poor milk transfer, concerning diaper output, growth concerns, or persistent breast refusal deserve attention. Different doesn't automatically mean dysfunctional. Come hang out with me on Patreon! My Patreon Village gets early access to episodes, bonus conversations, Q&As, practical resources, behind-the-scenes content, and a community where we can keep talking about what feeding a baby actually looks like in real life. The podcast is where I share the education. Patreon is where we get to hang out a little more. š¤ š¦ Join my Patreon Village: https://www.patreon.com/BabyWhisperer?utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan I created my Go With the Flow Breastfeeding Guide and Journal because breastfeeding isn't supposed to look exactly the same from the newborn stage through the first year. Your baby changes. Your breastfeeding relationship changes. And I want you to have a resource to come back to as you navigate those changes. Good information. Practical guidance. More confidence. š Get your copy on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0eaKhuBn š Baby Whisperer Nicki: https://babywhisperernicki.com My goal isn't to convince you to breastfeed. That's your decision. My goal is to support your decisions with education and compassion. Nicki Davis, RN, BSN, IBCLC Baby Whisperer Nicki Helping Families Feed with Confidence. š¦ š¤ WANT MORE SPILL THE MILK?š GO WITH THE FLOW
More from Spill the Milk Breastfeeding Podcast
š¦ Breastfeeding Survival Tactics for the First Few Weeks | Spill the Milk Season 2, Episode 4 Those first few weeks of breastfeeding can feel like absolute chaos. You just had a baby. You're recovering. You're exhausted. Your hormones are everywhere. You're trying to figure out this brand-new little humanāand meanwhile, everybody has an opinion about what you're supposed to be doing. How often should baby eat? How long should they stay at the breast? Should you wake them? Should you pump? Is your milk āinā? Is the latch good enough? Why do they want to eat AGAIN? Can we please give momsāand babiesāa minute? In this episode of Spill the Milk, I'm giving you the breastfeeding survival tactics I wish every new mom knew before she started doubting herself. We're talking about: š¦ Why skin-to-skin shouldn't end after the golden hour š¦ Why colostrum IS milk š¦ Why you don't automatically need to breastfeed AND pump š¦ Why hand expression can work better for those tiny amounts of thick colostrum š¦ Why pump output is NOT a test of whether you have milk š¦ The learning curve of latchāand why neither you nor your baby needs to be perfect at it š¦ Normal newborn weight loss and why context matters š¦ Why my newborn rule is āWhen in doubt, guess hungerā š¦ Why I want you to stop timing the damn feed š¦ Second-night cluster feeding and why it doesn't automatically mean low supply š¦ What diapers can actually tell us š¦ Why I want everybody to LEAVE. THAT. BABY. ALONE. when they're peacefully feeding š š¦ And why I do NOT recommend swaddling your baby while breastfeeding I'm also talking about the difference between normal newborn behavior and something that really does deserve assessment. Because āThis is normalā should reassure you. It should never silence you when something doesn't feel right. And maybe most importantly: You are not supposed to be perfect at breastfeeding on Day 1. You're learning your baby. Your baby is learning you. You're both going to get better with time and practice. The first few weeks aren't about doing breastfeeding perfectly. They're about learning your baby. š¤ šļø Episode 4 airs Friday, October 9. š¤ PATREON EARLY ACCESS ā OCTOBER 7 Patreon members with early access can listen beginning Wednesday, October 7, before the episode releases publicly on Friday. Patreon members also get bonus conversations, Q&As, practical resources, behind-the-scenes content, and a community where we can keep talking about what feeding a baby actually looks like in real life. The podcast is where I share the education. Patreon is where we get to hang out a little more. š¤ š¦ Join Baby Whisperer Nicki on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BabyWhisperer?utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan š GO WITH THE FLOW I created my Go With the Flow Breastfeeding Guide and Journal because I don't want you trying to remember everything you've ever been told about breastfeeding while you're exhausted, recovering, and learning your baby. It's a resource you can come back to when you're sitting there at 2 a.m. wondering, āIs this normal?ā š Get Go With the Flow: https://a.co/d/0eaKhuBn š Baby Whisperer Nicki: https://babywhisperernicki.com My goal isn't to convince you to breastfeed. That's your decision. My goal is to support your decisions with education and compassion. Nicki Davis, RN, BSN, IBCLC Baby Whisperer Nicki Helping Families Feed with Confidence. š¦
Okay, friends⦠Iām a little spicy in this one. Actually, Iām pretty pissed. š„ Tongue-tie revisions have become one of those breastfeeding conversations where I keep asking myself: How did we get here? Iāve been helping breastfeeding families for more than 20 years, and I remember practicing before it seemed like every breastfeeding problem led to somebody looking inside a babyās mouth for a tie. Now a mom can post online: āMy nipples hurt.ā And within minutes: āHave you had your baby checked for a tongue-tie?ā WHAT?! Nipple pain tells me we need to assess the feeding. It does NOT automatically tell me something in your babyās mouth needs to be cut. In this episode, weāre talking about the rise in tongue-tie diagnoses and revisions, internet advice, babies being revised before leaving the hospital, repeat procedures, informed consent, potential complicationsāand something we donāt discuss enough: The baby. How many people need to put their fingers in this babyās mouth? And because a baby canāt tell us, āEnough,ā shouldnāt that make us MORE thoughtful about what weāre doing to their body? Iām also sharing two cases from my own practice that have stayed with me. This episode is NOT anti-frenotomy. Some babies with symptomatic tongue-tie may benefit from one. What Iām against is jumping from: āBreastfeeding isnāt workingā ā āYour baby needs a revision.ā Before we cut anything, I want to know: š¦ Has someone watched an ENTIRE feeding? š¦ Has Mom been taught how to improve the latch? š¦ Is baby transferring milk and gaining appropriately? š¦ What is diaper output telling us? š¦ What is Momās milk production doing? š¦ What other causes have been considered? š¦ What FUNCTION is the frenulum interfering with? š¦ What are the benefits AND risks? š¦ What happens if we waitāor if the procedure doesnāt work? A visible frenulum is not automatically a feeding problem. Finding a frenulum is not the same thing as finding the cause of the feeding problem. Iām not anti-procedure. Iām pro-assessment, pro-informed consent, and pro-baby. Before we cut anything, ask: What problem are we actually trying to solve? š BEFORE YOU REVISE If a tongue-tie or lip-tie procedure has been recommended for your baby, I created Before You Revise: The Parentās Checklist Before Saying Yes to a Tongue-Tie or Lip-Tie Procedure to help you understand what should be assessed, what questions to ask, the potential benefits and risks, and when it may be time to slow down and get more information. š Get Before You Revise: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0HKDJNK95 š¤ WANT MORE SPILL THE MILK? Come hang out with me on Patreon for early access, bonus conversations, Q&As, resources, behind-the-scenes content, and our community. The podcast is where I share the education. Patreon is where we get to hang out a little more. š¤ š¦ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BabyWhisperer?utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan š https://babywhisperernicki.com š RESOURCES & FURTHER READING American Academy of Pediatrics ā 2024 Clinical Report https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/154/2/e2024067605/198022/Identification-and-Management-of-Ankyloglossia-and Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine ā Position Statement https://www.bfmed.org/assets/Anklyloglossia%20position%20statement%202021.pdf American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry ā Frenulum Policy https://www.aapd.org/research/oral-health-policies--recommendations/managment-of-the-frenulum-in-pediatric-dental-patients/ JAMA Otolaryngology ā Feeding Evaluation & Frenotomy Rates https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaotolaryngology/fullarticle/2737712 The New York Times ā Inside the Booming Business of Cutting Babiesā Tongues https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/health/tongue-tie-release-breastfeeding.html My goal isnāt to convince you to breastfeed. Thatās your decision. My goal is to support your decisions with education and compassion. Nicki Davis, RN, BSN, IBCLC Baby Whisperer Nicki Helping Families Feed with Confidence.
Somewhere along the way, the breast pump went from being an incredibly useful tool to something breastfeeding moms started believing they have to use. And I have questions. šš„ Since spending more time talking with moms on social media, Iāve been surprised by how many are nursing their babies and pumpingānot because theyāre returning to work, separated from their baby, or exclusively pumping, but because theyāve been told they need to pump to āprotect their supply.ā And every time I hear that, I want to ask: Protect your supply from WHAT? š In this episode of Spill the Milk, weāre talking about the new pumping culture and all the extra work we may be giving breastfeeding moms without ever stopping to ask whether they actually need to do it. Weāre getting into: š¦ Why directly breastfeeding your baby can be enough š¦ Boob, bottle, and pumpāand why they donāt automatically all have to go together š¦ When pumping actually makes sense š¦ Why some moms end up owning multiple pumps without ever being taught how to properly use the one they have š¦ Returning to work and planning for bottles š¦ Freezer stash culture and the pressure to collect more and more milk š¦ Why pumping extra can sometimes create problems you never needed in the first place And yes, we need to talk about those freezers packed from top to bottom with breast milk. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of milk you worked hard to collect. But seeing someone elseās freezer stash without knowing the context can quickly turn into another breastfeeding expectation. Suddenly, youāre doing two jobs: Youāre feeding your baby AND youāre feeding your freezer. Friends, moms already have enough jobs. Iām not anti-pump. Iām not anti-bottle. Iām not anti-freezer stash. Iām anti-unnecessary work for moms. š„ The breast pump is a tool. Sometimes itās incredibly helpful. Sometimes itās essential. But it is not a requirement for being a successful breastfeeding mother. So before you add another pumping session, buy another pump, or decide you need another 100 ounces in your freezer, I want you to ask yourself one simple question: WHY am I pumping? Because the plan should match the reason. š¤ Want more Spill the Milk? Come hang out with me on Patreon! Patreon members can get early access to Spill the Milk episodes, plus bonus conversations, Q&As, practical resources, behind-the-scenes content, and a community where we can keep talking about what feeding a baby actually looks like in real life. The podcast is where I share the education. Patreon is where we get to hang out a little more. š¤ š¦ Join Baby Whisperer Nicki on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BabyWhisperer?utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan Nicki Davis, RN, BSN, IBCLC Baby Whisperer Nicki Helping Families Feed with Confidence. š¦ babywhisperernicki.com
Welcome to Season 2 of Spill the Milk. š„ And fair warningāyou may notice I'm a little spicier this season. After more than 20 years of working with moms and babies, I've become pretty protective of you and your feeding goals. I'm not here to convince you to breastfeed. I'm here to help you understand what's happening, make informed decisions, and fight for the feeding experience you want. And sometimes that means I have a few things to say. š We're starting Season 2 with something I see all the time: moms who are terrified they aren't making enough milk. We have more breastfeeding information available to us than ever before. We can track ounces, minutes, feeds, diapers, sleep, pump output, freezer stashes, weight, and just about everything else. Then we open social media and see another mom pumping eight ounces, a freezer overflowing with breast milk, or a baby following a picture-perfect feeding schedule. But here's the problem: You're seeing the data. You're not seeing the context. In this episode, we're talking about supply anxiety, pump output, unrealistic expectations, conflicting breastfeeding advice, social media comparison, and why one numberāor one TikTokācannot tell you the whole story of a breastfeeding relationship. Sometimes we need to stop staring at one feed, one pump session, or one number and zoom out. How is your baby doing? How are you doing? What does feeding look like over 24 hours? And is there actually evidence that something isn't workingāor are you afraid because your experience doesn't look like what someone told you breastfeeding was supposed to look like? Your baby is an individual. So are you. Let's look at the whole picture. š„ Spill the Milk with Baby Whisperer Nicki Nicki Davis, RN, BSN, IBCLC Helping Families Feed with Confidence. š Visit Baby Whisperer Nicki: babywhisperernicki.com
What if some of the most common breastfeeding advice isn't helping moms at all? In this episode, we're talking about the things we need to stop telling breastfeeding mothers. From "feed 8ā12 times a day" and "don't feed your baby to sleep," to "pump to see how much milk you have" and "just push through the pain," we're taking a closer look at where these messages come from, why they can be misleading, and what evidence and normal infant behavior actually tell us. We'll cover topics like: Feeding by the clock vs. feeding your baby Why "full feeds" aren't as simple as they sound Normal night waking and cluster feeding Why pump output doesn't measure your milk supply The problem with routine triple feeding Pain during breastfeeding Tongue tie referrals Feeding to sleep And more... My goal isn't to shame parents or healthcare providersāit's to replace fear and rigid rules with practical, evidence-based information that helps you better understand your baby and trust your instincts. Whether you're expecting your first baby, currently breastfeeding, or supporting a breastfeeding family, this episode will help you separate breastfeeding facts from breastfeeding myths. Connect with me: Find my breastfeeding classes, virtual consultations, podcast episodes, and resources here: https://linktr.ee/babywhisperer77 If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with another parent who could use evidence-based breastfeeding support.