“i’m not sick enough” – your eating disorder’s biggest lie | the recovered-ish podcast ep. 4

Episode Description Audio only this week — my phone broke, so no video version. Our first real mini-sode. This one came out of a conversation with my Quasi-Recovery Exit alumni group about why rest is so uncomfortable for so many of us in recovery. If you feel like you have to earn your rest the same way you once felt you had to earn your food — that's not a coincidence. I get into where that wiring comes from, what pushing past your limit is actually costing you, and the challenge I want to ...

Episode Description I've been putting this episode off for months, honestly because I've been scared to record it. I'm about to have a daughter, and ending the cycle of eating disorders in my family is one of the most important things to me. In this one I'm sharing where my head is at — what I used to think I had to be for her, what I actually believe now, and the specific things I've decided about how I'll talk about bodies and food in our house. It's a shorter one. She could arrive any day!...

Episode Description Almost twelve years into recovery, and a lot of what I once held as non-negotiable has shifted. Some of it through my own healing, some of it through years of sitting across from clients. In this episode I'm walking through six things I used to believe about eating disorder recovery and now think differently about: exercise, being "recovered," harm reduction, intuitive eating, recovery content, and keeping it all private. Some of these might surprise you. You might disagre...

Episode Description We talk about eating disorders in labs and vitals and weight. But when I look back at mine, the physical stuff was never the thing that woke me up. What actually got me was everything else it took — the dinners I sat through without being there, the party I ran away from, the year in New York where I never once let myself have a bagel, the photo of my nana and my sisters that I'm not in. In this episode I walk through those moments honestly. And then I tell you what each o...

Episode Description Almost twelve years into recovery and body image is still hard for me sometimes. Pregnancy has made it harder. In this episode I'm getting honest about where I actually am with it — and why "just be grateful for your body" has never been the thing that helps. I walk through a session of my own EMDR therapy, tracing my body image back to a memory from when I was about seven, and what came up that finally shifted something. Spoiler: it wasn't self-love. It was anger — pointe...