Now Yous Can't leave | The Golden Hour #175 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Chris and Erik get into toddlers renaming everything in the house, a Turkish word for the sadness that shows up inside happy moments, and why comics never really turn their emotions off. The guys debate a hot take that being a stay-at-home mom with help isn’t that hard (single working moms excluded), and the word “overstimulated” catches strays. Chris clears up the Turning Point mix-up and talks about comedians who only become your friend once you’re famous, the performative posting that follows a pile-on, and the internet’s “guilty until proven guilty” rule. Plus Tom Cruise running makeup with a stopwatch, the right way to cook an egg, whether Waymo wipes out rideshare jobs, a Gen Z stat from Playboy, and a Basic Instinct rewatch.

Erik is back from the premiere of Behemoth!, Tony Gilroy’s new movie starring Pedro Pascal, and tells the story of a 20-year-old extra asking Pedro if he’s “been in stuff.” Chris and Erik also break down a TikTok dating coach whose advice includes carrying a dad joke book into Barnes & Noble, Erik explains how he ended up four books deep into an audiobook series about a house full of horny monsters, and Rick Glassman calls in mid-show. Plus: blocking haters vs. hiding them, the Flagrant fallout, how to become a bestselling author, Erik’s suit battle with Rachel, Harry Potter, Dan Brown, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Chris and Erik talk about SiriusXM turning the Raw Dog channel into Sebastian Maniscalco’s channel and why comics shouldn’t be blaming Sebastian for getting cut, a Russian barbershop haircut in New York, how New York and LA never fully bounced back from Covid, gas prices, Trump’s comments about Los Angeles and San Diego, why some politicians won’t do long-form podcasts, the viral cook-your-own-steak restaurant, whether everything is really more expensive, creepy bedtime prayers, kids in the bathtub, how having kids rewires your brain, intrusive thoughts, Jeremy Renner wishing he had his bow, a P Diddy moment at the Tropic Thunder wrap party, upcoming tour dates, and much more!

Chris and Erik get into casino towns in Oklahoma, whether the casino is as guilty as the degenerate gambler, and why sex work is the one business where the customer is always wrong. They review Primetime, Resident Evil and Backrooms, rave about Robert Pattinson as Chris Hansen, and pick apart Monster's take on Lizzie Borden. Plus political yard sign season, Elliot Page's latest magazine cover, how the country flipped its opinion on Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson's new show Brothers, a Harry Mack freestyle that will not end, the Guinness record for longest freestyle, AI scam calls, and an insurance company calling home about an Uber crash that never happened.

Chris and Erik open with Bitcoin regret and a time machine dilemma: kill Hitler, or buy 10,000 Bitcoin at a dollar? Erik recaps his weekend at Mohegan Sun, from a 75-minute massage that went wrong in the first few minutes (and what the protocol is for walking out of one) to a craps table full of old-school Italian guys straight out of Casino, passing the dice to Charlie. Chris explains "Bond," the secret eighth day of the week. The guys also get into The Handmaid's Tale and why some true stories, like Girl in the Basement, maybe shouldn't be made into movies.