Phone Addiction Has Reached Its Final Form

Madonna has ass lasers. Sex robots are getting skin. Paris Fashion Week looks like the final boss battle of Western civilization. And somehow Marlon Brando eating Burger King in his backyard feels like the healthiest thing we discuss.

This week, Dave and Austin discover what happens when a man puts a queen bee where absolutely no queen bee belongs — and somehow turn it into the origin story for the worst superhero ever created. Also in this episode: Donald Trump Jr.’s trip to India, a slaughterhouse employee with the most terrifying answer imaginable, a man building an increasingly disturbing backyard training facility, firefighters straight out of a silent movie, childhood sleepover pranks, a catastrophic Jasmine makeup tutorial, the worst police escape attempt ever caught on camera, and the argument for making a hyena the official mascot of the show.

This week, men pay for toe toast, a literal Foot God, men hanging blocks of cheese from places cheese should never be attached, masculinity camps, catastrophic internet stunts, the glory days of McDonald’s supersizing, distracted drivers filming their own crashes, and Austin’s deeply unfortunate encounter with a gym hot tub that eventually had to be filled with concrete.

Dave and Austin are back, and somehow society got even weirder while we were gone.

This episode has everything: AI babies writing poetry from the bottom of the ocean, a man apparently volunteering his genitals to a swarm of bees, the ongoing desecration of My Girl, a nightmare circus bunny, Popeyes chicken getting seasoned in a way absolutely nobody requested, strange internet prophets, political campaign videos, and enough evidence that the internet may have finally cooked all of our brains.