Show Notes
Dr. Reedy reviews what he considers to be the most important book written on the subject of child development and mental health. Alice Miller writes in her book, “Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery of the truth about the unique history of our childhood…we must try, in a long process, to discover our own personal touch, a truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. If we choose instead to content ourselves with intellectual ‘wisdom,’ we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception. The damage done to us during our childhood cannot be undone, since we cannot change anything in our past. We can, however, change ourselves. We can repair ourselves and gain our lost integrity by choosing to look more closely at the knowledge that is stored inside our bodies and bringing this knowledge closer to our awareness. This path, although certainly not easy, is the only route by which we can at last leave behind the cruel, invisible prison of our childhood. We become free by transforming ourselves from unaware victims of the past into responsible individuals in the present, who are aware of our past and are thus able to live with it. Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that it no longer exists.
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More from Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy
Should I fight for this marriage, or is it time to leave? In this talk, Dr. Brad Reedy takes up the question of discernment: how to know whether to divorce or to stay. He explains why divorce always needs to be an option. If leaving is off the table, then staying is not really a choice, and the intimacy a marriage needs cannot grow.
What does it actually mean to “hold space” for someone? In this talk, Dr. Brad Reedy explores containing: taking in another person with compassion, patience, curiosity, and non-judgment, especially when they’re hurting, dysregulated, or not making sense. Containing isn’t listening to someone being reasonable. It’s staying present with their pain, their defenses, their anger, and their irrational thinking, and letting them see the world the way they see it. We correct very little. And in that quiet, subtle way, a person is changed simply by having been understood. In this episode: Why a child’s sense of self is shaped not by what parents say, but by what they feel Why skills alone fall short, and why containing is built on our own inner work Listening by Capacity: a scale from “I can’t hear it right now” to accountability The barriers to containing: depletion, unhealed trauma, our own needs, self-righteousness, and the narcissistic wound Practical skills: staying silent, offering your body, holding discomfort, noticing your impulses, and getting really good at failing Why doing your own work is one of the most loving things you can do for the people closest to you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Brad Reedy explores artificial intelligence, self-help, and the difference between having information and doing our healing work. He explains that our relationship with AI is only as good as our mental health: we can use it to ask better questions and consider new perspectives, or to reinforce what we already believe. Drawing on his own experience and his work with clients, Brad discusses the limits of AI, why doing the "right" thing is not the same as healing, and why relationship remains at the heart of lasting change. The question isn't simply whether to use AI, but how we use it and what we expect it to do for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Reedy, interviews Finding You's coach and facilitator Beth Hillman. Beth shares her story of parenting a child struggling with substance used disorder. She talks about her approach and working with parents, emphasizing the need for self compassion and forgiveness for anyone working to support a struggling child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A Child's Greatest Burden