Show Notes
Can you actually have it all, or is that the exact belief that's making you feel like you're failing?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa, a double board-certified plastic surgeon, mom of three, and the internet's most unfiltered voice on modern motherhood. We get into the myth of doing it all, the impossible standards placed on working parents, and why the "good mom" checklist most of us are measuring ourselves against was never built for the life we're actually living.
We talk about:
Her definition of being a good mom, and why she refuses to be graded on how she cuts a cucumber
Going into labor in the middle of surgery, and the brutal reality of maternity leave in medicine
Being mistreated at work while pregnant, and why she wishes she'd stood up for herself sooner
Meeting her husband and being radically honest about her goals from date one
Why the burden of self-sacrifice still falls on mothers, and what it actually takes to change that at home
Quality time versus quantity of time, and what she learned from watching her own parents
The soccer game she missed and the conversation that came out of it
Why women get judged for having help, and what her husband says when she spirals about it
If you've ever felt guilty for wanting a career and a family, or like you're constantly being judged no matter what you choose, this conversation will change how you see it.
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Follow Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa: [add her @drdhivyasrinivasa / https://avarawell.com/]
#AMillennialMind #MomGuilt #WorkingMom
00:00 Intro: the pressure to be a good mom02:27 Welcome, Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa03:10 Who is Dhivya?04:17 What actually makes a "good mom"?06:43 The fake metrics we judge parents by09:16 The guilt of wanting to work21:14 Going into labor in the operating room26:15 Maternity leave in medicine is brutal28:20 Mistreated at work while pregnant37:21 Meeting her husband: radical honesty on date one43:29 Why alignment matters more than perfection45:55 Men, self-sacrifice, and equal parenting55:12 Quality time vs. quantity of time1:00:20 Reacting to viral "you have to be in the office" takes1:04:36 The miseducation of sons1:11:24 Confidence modeled by her parents1:13:46 Dealing with mom guilt: the soccer game story1:19:39 Feeling misunderstood as a parent1:21:13 Advice for women judged by their mom or mother-in-law1:28:44 Hiring help and letting go of the guilt1:30:57 Why women get judged for having nannies1:34:18 Her husband's take: "let's just get the help"1:40:26 Next episode preview: attachment styles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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