EP.17 From Formulas to Formation: Abstinence, Sexual Fragility and Maturity with Dr. Jenna Mountain
Dating and Desire PodcastShow Notes
Bridgett and Lauren sit down with Dr. Jenna Mountain, a sex therapist and educator who works at the intersection of faith and sexuality, for a conversation that gently rewires how many of us were taught to think about abstinence. Jenna brings both clinical experience and a deep love for the church, and she does not shy away from the places it has gotten things wrong. Together, they explore what it means to make sexual choices from a place of conviction rather than control, and what healthy formation actually looks like. At the center of the conversation is a quiet but important distinction. A choice rooted in your own values feels different in your body than a rule handed to you by someone else. Jenna names the way purity culture often produced sexually fragile adults, people who learned to avoid their own desire rather than engage it with maturity. That fragility shows up later in dating, in marriage, in the way people relate to beauty, attraction, and their own embodied lives. The work, she says, is becoming someone who can stay connected to your body, your faith, and your discernment all at once. Her framework moves us from formulas to formation. Formulas tell you exactly what to do and promise a guaranteed outcome. Formation invites you into the slower, more honest work of knowing your convictions, understanding your own development, and choosing in alignment with what you actually believe. In this view, abstinence can absolutely be a healthy choice, but only when it is fully yours. The goal is integrity, wholeness, and the kind of sexual maturity that is not waiting on a wedding day to arrive. For anyone dating, this conversation reframes what real readiness looks like. What to pay attention to is whether your sexual choices are forming you into a fuller, more grounded person or quietly keeping you small. The invitation is to engage rather than avoid, to ask better questions of yourself and the people you date, and to build the kind of self-trust that holds steady whether you are single for another year or another decade. Move with clarity, trust your discernment, and let your convictions feel like your own.
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Connect with Jenna Work with Jenna in either counseling or coaching Join her email list Instagram TikTok Facebook Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:
🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → RECLAIM Cohort 📓 Free Guides and Ecourse → Instagram → Website
💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Book a Dating Clarity Call We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing → Instagram → Website
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