Show Notes
Ever wonder why you keep getting stuck in the same soul-sucking relational merry-go-round and can’t get off? Why you feel like you're starring in a never-ending soap opera you didn’t audition for, but somehow you’re the villain for wanting out? I sat down with Gwendoline, a longtime member of Flying Free and Flying Higher, to talk about her epic butterfly transformation. We're talking cycles of chaos, religious gaslighting, and the sneaky little acronym that kept her trapped in marital misery: FOG (fear, obligation, guilt).
Key Takeaways: If it feels off, it probably is – Chaos, fights, and emotional whiplash aren’t just "normal marriage stuff." They're red flags. Your body knows before your brain does – Tight hips, tension, and dread? Not random. That’s trauma. Love isn’t a magical fix-all – You can love someone and still need to leave them. Track the truth – Emoji mood calendars and journaling helped Gwendoline see the pattern she was gaslit into ignoring. You are the rescuer – No knight in shining armor is coming. Just you, your big-girl panties, and God on a divine co-rescue mission. Leaving is hard, but worth it – Healing takes time, but the moment you step out, your real life begins. Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Get a FREE chapter of Is It ME? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, along with the companion workbook for that chapter, by going to flyingfreenow.com. I'll also send you the Freedom Letters. (Also free. 😉 ) Related Resources: Want to listen to more survivor stories? Check out “Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth’s Story” and “Out of the Poisoned Pond: Jennie’s Story.”
More from Flying Free
My pastors told me that what I was experiencing for over two decades wasn’t serious enough to be called “abuse.” They said I had to be physically hurt for it to cross the line of “hard marriage” to “abusive marriage.” Their beliefs kept me spinning in a turmoil so great that I thought a lot about ending my life.
Today we welcome back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez to celebrate the release of her brand new book, Legally Ending Love, and to walk us through exactly what every woman needs to know before they file for divorce.
Today I’m going to tell you about the last of the three books I picked as the most life-changing for me so far. I was nervous to write this episode because the book is controversial in some circles, and even I was afraid to read it many years ago. I expected to confront all kinds of lies and heresies (this is what I was taught at my church!)
This is the second in a 3-part series where I’m sharing the top three books that have changed my life. Last week I talked about the book A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman. This week I will talk about Altogether You by Jenna Remiersma. And next week…well, you’ll have to come back then to hear me talk about a VERY controversial book in conservative Christian circles, but WOW did it absolutely do a number on my chronic fear, shame, and anger. But for now - let’s dive into a book that helped me make sense of the contradictory thoughts I struggled with every single day. “I can totally do this!” “I could NEVER DO THAT!”
A lot of people got mad at me when I started to change over ten years ago. They got so mad, they booted me out of my church and my family. In this episode, I’m going to tell you about a book that changed the way I parent, lead, and show up in my own life.