Hiatus announcement and Caitlin Part 3!

Lila's behind bars! And while Steven rides to the rescue to spring her from jail, Lila's supposed best friend and her sanctimonious twin truly do not care that Lila has just been charged with FIRE BOMBING A RESTAURANT. They're more concerned with splitting up her and Steven. Steven is willing to sacrifice his internship to prove Lila's innocence - and he might just have found some crucial evidence that could clear her name. If only he weren't so annoying when he tells her about it... Meanwhile Devon, our least favourite orphan, finally reaches Sweet Valley - and reunites with someone from his past. Sadly, not Pete.

Just when we thought we couldn't hate Devon Whitelaw any more than we already did, he manages to outdo himself in the second half of this terrible book. He's serving as Pete and Linda's go between, but when a casino patron is robbed, Devon starts wondering where Pete gets all his jewels. Is trouble in store for our favourite grifter? Meanwhile Liz is unspeakably awful, Jessica is preposterously angry and as for Lila... well, let's just say we did not expect what happens in the book's final scene. All this and a LOT of people chuckling (seriously, just wait for the stats).

We regret to inform you that an alarming amount of this book is devoted to the least sympathetic teenage orphan in literary history, Devon Whitelaw. Having insulted service industry workers and deprived himself of sleep and food for no good reason, Devon hits Vegas where he miraculously finds his black sheep uncle Pete by just...wandering around casinos. Despite being an actual grifter with a touch of OTG, Pete is far too good for Devon and is our favourite character in this book. Meanwhile, back in Sweet Valley, the DA's office continues to be wildly unprofessional, Jessica turns on Lila and Steven finds out about a traumatic incident from Lila's past that we never thought would be referenced again. All this and a Cara Walker reference! Remember, if you can help us expand our SVU collection, which we would really appreciate, you can see what we need here and mail us at [email protected]: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wgq5a-0C3zoTC065tOzJmSkI2kNBBe2K38Hu8jn8qg8/edit?usp=sharing

At this stage, we really thought we couldn't be surprised by Sweet Valley's approach to law enforcement and detective work. But then we learned that the only person investigating the crime scene at Fowler Crest, which was almost burned to the ground by an unknown arsonist, is... Steven Wakefield. Yes, who better to figure out how and why a fire started than an 18-year-old intern? And that's just one of the many preposterous things that happen in the latter half of this book! As an increasingly worried Lila starts to wonder if the arsonist is still after her, she and Steven get closer - but he's not totally convinced of her innocence. Meanwhile Jessica proves herself to be a surprisingly good friend, Liz and Todd continue to be deeply annoying, and Devon is betrayed (although he's so insufferable we simply can't be outraged on his behalf).

At last, we're back in Sweet Valley! What with Flair and the Chateau, it feels like we haven't seen the SVH cafeteria in months, but the gang's all here this week, and there's only one topic of conversation: the fire that just destroyed Fowler Crest! Yes, after a sorrowful Lila burns her love letters from Bo while home alone one night, she wakes to find her home in ablaze. She assumes it was an accident - but the DA's office is sure it was arson, and, for some preposterous reason, they enlist none other than Stephen Wakefield to investigate the case. Why? Don't ask us, we've given up hoping for any semblance of logic from the Sweet Valley justice system. Meanwhile, Pob II: The Revenge, aka Devon Whitelaw, is making his way across the country and being absolutely insufferable.