Show Notes
When I started my business, I wanted to create spaces where every single person felt seen, heard, and like they truly belonged . It sounds so beautifully simple on the surface, doesn't it? But as we all know, making sure people feel heard at work can get incredibly messy . This week, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with a peer of mine from grad school, Daniel Newton, an Associate Professor at the University of Iowa, whose research on workplace engagement is quite literally out of this world . He's spent years studying how people speak up and stay engaged, working with everyone from corporate teams to actual astronauts aboard the International Space Station . Now, I always say that if an astronaut floating in zero gravity can feel ignored by Mission Control, it's okay if your team is struggling to communicate during shift changes ! Daniel and I shared some great laughs about the black box of office suggestion boxes (which usually just collect dust and some very chaotic notes) and how we can all become better allies by lifting each other's ideas . Key Themes from the Conversation Even Astronauts Struggle to Feel Heard. Feeling heard requires more than just listening. Speaking up requires responsive action or transparent feedback . When leaders or institutions fail to act, it creates a sense of being ignored, even in high-stakes environments like space exploration . "I worked with an astronaut that literally shared an idea with Mission Control and they didn't do anything, so he had to say it again, and then again. Even people that train for years and years, and have the complete trust of NASA, even they don't feel heard in their work sometimes." – Daniel Newton
The Power of the Newcomer Perspective. People often hesitate to speak up because they are new, young, or feel like an imposter . However, fresh eyes bring the highest level of creative disruption and innovation to long-standing, status-quo systems . "The newcomer perspective is really valuable because you're gonna see things differently. And so we may hesitate to speak up because we feel like we're too new." – Daniel Newton
Problems Drive Action, While Ideas Risk the Back Burner. Voicing workplace problems creates an immediate sense of urgency that forces management to respond and implement solutions quickly . The paradox is that while problems get fixed, proactive and creative new ideas are often pushed aside . "Creating urgency means that managers respond faster, and the company is more likely to implement and resolve those problems. But the downside of that potentially could be that new, yet important ideas get put on the back burner." – Daniel Newton
AI as a Useful Sounding Board, Not a Human Replacement. Artificial intelligence serves as a fantastic, low-stakes rehearsal partner to build confidence before pitching ideas . While AI excels at optimizing usefulness and efficiency, human input remains essential for true originality and novel thinking . "AI-generated ideas were really good with the usefulness component. But the humans were really good at the originality component. If we're generating new ideas, we need the human in the loop." – Daniel Newton
The Power of Indirect Framing (The "Midwest Nice" Strategy). For those who struggle to be blunt, framing an idea or problem as a collaborative question lowers defensiveness in dominant leaders and invites them into the solution rather than putting them on the defensive . "Have we thought about X? Or might we consider doing this? Being indirect, asking or speaking up in the form of a question is helpful because it didn't put leaders on the spot. They don't feel as threatened." – Daniel Newton
One Actionable Takeaway To help an idea land successfully with a dominant supervisor or to ease your own anxiety about speaking up, frame your insight as a question (e.g., "I wonder if we might consider..." or "Have we looked at...") rather than a direct mandate . This invites collaboration,
More from Allyship in Action
If you have ever caught yourself second-guessing how you navigate a delicate conversation around race at work, trust me, you are not alone. This week, I had the absolute joy of sitting down with the brilliant Dr. Evelyn Carter, social psychologist and author of Was That Racist? We geeked out over the fascinating science of human behavior, laughed about our shared moments of awkwardness, and got real about why true inclusion requires us to drop the polished corporate scripts. Dr. Carter brings a refreshing blend of research-backed clarity and vivid personal storytelling that makes you feel both deeply challenged and surprisingly hopeful. We talked about how bias sneaks into our everyday micro-behaviors, why the traditional business case for diversity falls flat, and how we can empower the next generation to stand firm in their values. Unconscious Bias Leaks Into Physical and Social Spaces. Even when we do not consciously endorse biased beliefs, implicit social cognition leaks into our non-verbal behavior, influencing how we interact with others and navigate shared spaces. "Those feelings of disgust, those feelings of wariness come through in the way that we decide what we want to physically keep close to us or not. We often opt for comfort over discomfort."
By the time the fourth quarter rolls around, most of us in leadership are running on coffee, sheer willpower, and a quiet prayer that our calendars don't spontaneously combust. We rush to cross off every single goal set in January, regardless of whether our teams actually have the bandwidth left to carry it. In my latest chat with the incredible Dr. Jolander Headley, we unpacked why this year-end frenzy is a recipe for disaster and how we can lead with a lot more intention and a lot less chaotic exhaustion. We laughed about our own high-octane DISC profiles, because it turns out two driven, influential leaders in one room can produce some serious sparks, but the core message was clear: if you want to retain your best talent and build a workplace that actually lasts, you have to lead yourself first. That means taking a deep breath, dropping the perfectionism, and asking ourselves what truly matters before we ask our people to do one more thing. Key Themes Prioritization Starts with Self-Awareness: True alignment begins when leaders drop the denial and look inward to understand how their own behavior and blind spots impact the rest of the team. "You cannot improve what you refuse to acknowledge... If you can't lead yourself well, it's challenging to lead others well. So you want to lead yourself well. Start with self-awareness." Retention Decisions Are Made in Q4: The end of the year creates heightened anxiety and prompts employees to evaluate their career trajectories, making it critical for managers to reassess workloads rather than pushing teams to the breaking point. "As quarter four approaches, retention risks can increase. This is a time that leaders push their teams to accomplish every remaining annual goal that had been established, regardless of capacity, forcing burnout." Shift to Sustainable Performance Over Burnout Culture: Building an enduring organization requires sustainable leaders who create proactive burnout prevention models and focus on intrinsic motivators like autonomy and personal growth. "Employees will increasingly expect their organization to demonstrate that high performance can be maintained without chaotic exhaustion. We cannot build sustainable organizations without developing sustainable leaders." Prioritization Activities to Do with Your Team: Managers need to create space for intentional recalibration, such as evaluating team bandwidth, throwing "stay celebrations" to recognize current value, and carrying non-critical tasks into the next year. "The idea of a stay party is that you're giving the flowers while they're still there. Eelebrating the progress of the organization without being complacent." Actionable Takeaway for Listeners: Set aside 60 minutes this week for a Q4 Priority & Capacity Audit with your team: review every remaining annual goal together, identify who is quietly becoming the go-to person for everything, and explicitly choose at least one low-impact project to pause or carry over into the new year. Follow Dr. Jolander Headley at https://jolanderheadley.com/
Every now and then, a book comes along that completely stops me in my tracks. My conversation with Dr. Corinne Low—Wharton professor, economist, and author of Having It All—was one of those instances where data validated everything so many of us feel daily. I loved blending storytelling with hard research as we unpacked why so many high-achieving working parents feel so exhausted. As a working mom myself, hearing the data prove that working mothers today spend more time with their children than stay-at-home mothers did a generation ago was a massive aha moment. We realized the progress made for women in the workplace hasn't been matched by a revolution for men at home, leaving us playing with half a deck of cards. Together, we explored how shifting our workplace norms, setting clear boundaries, and reimagining partnership roles can build a system that actually works for everyone. Key Themes Why the Workplace Is Not Working for All Genders. The traditional workplace model was built around an outdated era where employees relied on a stay-at-home partner to manage home life. While women have made huge strides entering the corporate world, men haven't experienced a parallel revolution at home, leaving working women disproportionately burdened by domestic labor. "We had a gender revolution for women, and we did not have a gender revolution for men. We are showing up as equals in the workforce, but men are not showing up as equals at home."
Scott Curran is a social impact lawyer, advisor, and educator who spent ten years in the All-Star game of global philanthropy at the Clinton Foundation . When I sit back and look at the wacky headlines and persistent headwinds in our world right now, it can be really easy to throw up our hands . But Scott brings us right back to the science: human beings are naturally wired for good, and our brain chemistry practically throws a party of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins whenever we do something kind or even just watch someone else do it ! Scott candidly shares how a middle-of-the-night couch conversation with his wife turned into a mission to give away a decade's worth of hard-earned tools to help leaders scale their impact . Purpose isn't just a fluffy concept. Purpose drives profits, sparks employee joy, and connects us to our shared humanity . Key Themes & Highlights Humans Are Science-Backed and Wired for Good. Human beings are fundamentally built for reciprocity and community care . Despite negative news cycles, basic brain chemistry releases feel-good neurochemicals whenever we give, receive, or observe acts of kindness .
Positive psychology researcher and author Michelle Gielan joins us to dive into two qualities I think about a lot: optimism and resilience. Early in my career, I used to think being optimistic meant slapping a smile on my face, grabbing a venti iced coffee, and pretending everything was fine, even when a project was burning down around me. (Spoiler alert: it doesn't work!) Real optimism isn't about ignoring the mess. As Michelle reminded me, it's about taking a realistic assessment of the present while holding onto the belief that our actions matter. We laughed about closet optimists, shared a few messy real-world stories, and unpacked how these mindsets work hand-in-hand to transform our workplaces. Here are the key themes from our conversation: Optimism vs. Resilience: Traditional optimism is the general expectation of good outcomes, whereas resilient optimism is grounded in deliberate behaviors that keep us hopeful when our plans face real-world testing. "Optimism is basically an expectation of good things to happen and resilient optimism is optimism that stays strong when it's tested."