AUTISM TRANSLATION GUIDE: 10 things partners need to understand

Are you working a job you love—or staying in one that’s slowly making you miserable? This week, Rich and Rox dig through their entire career histories: first jobs, bad bosses, promotions, burnout, quitting, career pivots, failed dreams and the strange ways neurodivergence shaped what work did and didn’t suit them. Rox talks about going from thriving in fast-paced service jobs to feeling completely out of her depth in a graduate accountancy role, before eventually leaving banking for music; Rich reflects on spending 20 years at Barclays, the managers who shaped him and what finally made him change direction. It’s really about career shame, starting again and the idea that job-hopping, quitting or getting it wrong doesn’t mean you’ve failed—you might just be collecting the pieces that eventually lead you somewhere that fits. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove CHAPTERS 00:00 The Career Graveyard 01:24 Rich’s first job at Sainsbury’s 03:52 Rox starts “Helping Hands” 06:06 Rox’s first proper job 09:27 Rich becomes a manager at 19 13:27 Why ADHD can make interviews easier than the actual job 14:49 “Something was missing in me” 16:06 “You need to go home” 18:59 Rox moves into banking 21:28 Mixing up BUY and SELL on a trading floor 22:32 Loop Earplugs 23:22 Rich’s life at Barclays during the credit crisis 25:22 The bosses you never forget 27:55 Rox starts writing songs 29:21 Leaving the bank for music 30:33 The record label collapses 33:30 Starting again in Amsterdam 34:31 The beginning of ADHD Love 35:13 What old jobs still teach you 37:47 “Every wrong turn was actually a right turn” 38:55 Why messy career paths are completely normal 39:45 Rich’s forgotten childhood dream 42:10 Final thoughts

Are you tired all the time, even when it feels like you haven’t done much? This week, Rich and Rox unpack ten everyday things that can drain their neurodivergent batteries: masking, disrupted sleep, sensory overload, basic self-care, hyperfocus, social hangovers and the effort of feeling everything so intensely. Rich reflects on the exhaustion of pretending all day at the bank and why losing his routine has made looking after himself harder; Rox explains why everyday tasks rarely feel automatic, her brain switches on the moment she wakes up and an exciting plan can become an exhausting commitment. It’s really about the effort other people don’t see, recognising when you’re running on empty and giving yourself permission to rest. Along the way, there’s a dispute over bedroom boundaries, an unexpectedly deep dive into golf balls and a shared decision that the next activity should probably be a nap. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

Your partner turns up late to a date. Red flag, or ADHD? They correct every tiny detail in your stories. Red flag, or autism? This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox play Red Flag or Neurodivergent, working through ten dating behaviours the internet loves to call toxic and asking what's really going on underneath. Most of it comes straight from their own relationship. Rox has forgotten their anniversary more than once (one year she apologised with a song on TikTok) and used to go eight hours without a text during songwriting sessions. Rich shuts down mid-argument, corrects her stories because "I don't need to be right, I just need it to be right", and admits he's disgustingly neutral when she's venting about someone who's upset her. They also get honest about a recent wobble where Rox felt Rich didn't fancy her anymore, and how one awkward conversation fixed it. The takeaway: neurodivergence explains a lot, but it doesn't excuse everything. A partner who listens, talks and adapts is the real green flag. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

This week on LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox sit the Great Adulting Test: 20 questions pulled from Reddit and the internet about what actually makes someone a functional adult, with producer Max keeping score. Rox lost her licence in her 20s for running red lights, thinks "important mail" means her skincare deliveries, and has 350 unread WhatsApp chats. Rich has never paid a bill late in his life but will not do small talk with strangers, full stop. Neither of them knows their bank balance within £100, and nobody can agree who actually booked the dentist. It's ADHD vs autism at its most petty, and one of them wins comfortably. Keep score at home and let us know in the comments. Get our book THE CHERRY TREE THEORY http://linktr.ee/cherry.tree.theory Listen to the audiobook https://linktr.ee/CHERRY.TREE.AUDIOBOOK 20% off Loop Earplugs: https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove

Shame doesn’t say you did something bad. It says you are bad—and that belief can quietly ruin your whole life. This week, Rich and Rox confront ten things they’ve struggled to forgive themselves for, including addiction, debt, divorce, executive dysfunction, parenting mistakes and feeling like they’d wasted their lives. Rich shares the darkest consequences of his gambling addiction, while Rox opens up about the shame of being unable to manage basic tasks and believing she couldn’t trust herself. It’s raw, occasionally brutal and somehow still funny—because your worst mistake doesn’t have to become your entire identity. 20% off Loop Earplugs: ⁠https://www.loopearplugs.com/adhdlove CHAPTERS 00:00 The difference between shame and guilt 01:38 “I can’t let anybody see how I live” 03:03 “What’s that smell?” 05:03 “My mistakes are unforgivable” 05:50 Rich’s gambling addiction 07:30 Why everyone needs a redemption story 08:13 “I’ve wasted my life” 11:02 “I’ve failed in relationships” 14:03 “I’m a terrible friend” 16:06 Loop Earplugs 17:08 “Why don’t I want to be touched?” 18:40 “I can’t trust myself” 21:27 Being an emotionally unavailable father 23:23 “I’m scared I’m a bad parent” 26:13 Shame about autistic sensitivities 27:41 Final thoughts