Show Notes
S1 E28 Unraveling Maria In this wide-ranging and deeply insightful conversation, Kara and Maria explore what happens when personal discovery intersects with law, ethics, culture, and belonging. Maria was 53 years old, standing in her kitchen, when a DNA test result upended everything she thought she knew about her identity. Raised in a deeply Catholic family, with a Filipino immigrant mother and an Irish American father, Maria’s life had always felt coherent, until a test revealed she was half Ashkenazi Jewish.
SHOW NOTES Kara and Maria discuss: Receiving unexpected DNA results and the immediate unraveling that followed Confronting parental secrecy and navigating a mother unwilling to engage The search for, and eventual relationship with, her genetic father How late discovery reshapes identity, faith, and cultural belonging The legal and ethical risks of consumer DNA testing, including privacy and insurance concerns Misattributed parentage and the broader policy gaps affecting NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people Sobriety, trauma, and the importance of support when facing life-altering truths The tension between truth-telling and protecting family secrets
Maria brings both personal vulnerability and professional insight as an attorney, offering a perspective that goes beyond individual story into systemic impact. Her experience led her to write Before and After the DNA Test, a comprehensive guide to the legal, medical, and ethical realities many people never consider before “spitting in a tube.”
Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.
At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.
For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Unraveling Me
S1 E51 - Unraveling Chris & Mary Chris grew up knowing he was adopted—and knowing his genetic family. His parents shared celebrations, built relationships with one another, and made room for everyone in his life. He calls it “integrated adoption.” But even with that openness and connection, Chris struggled with feeling slightly different everywhere he went. Recognizing the grief connected to his adoption brought a question he hadn’t known how to ask: “Is it okay that I feel this way?” His raising mother, Mary, answered without hesitation: “Of course it’s okay.”
S1 E50 - Unraveling Corey & Kendall Kendall always knew he was adopted. His parents welcomed his questions, and when his adoptive mother died, his father showed him the name he’d been given at birth. Kendall was ten. He searched through phone books, library records, and adoption registries, and petitioned the court three times for his sealed records. Years of dead ends left him believing he might never find his genetic family.
S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanage in India and raised in a white Catholic family on Long Island. She always knew she was adopted, but for most of her life, she gave little thought to the identity, culture, and history she had lost.
S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his own family.
S1E47 Unraveling MP MP grew up feeling like the odd person out. He looked different from his brothers, struggled to connect with the man he believed was his father, and was repeatedly reminded that his interests, personality, and appearance did not fit the rest of his family. At 13, he unexpectedly learned that his parents had married after he was born. That first crack in the family story left him wondering what else he had not been told.