3 Reasons You Feel Awkward Instead of Sexy

Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com Have you noticed that as you get older, what used to turn you on just isn't working anymore? In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist Heather Shannon welcomes Suzanne Noble, host of Sex Advice for Seniors, for a candid conversation about sex after 50. Together, they explore changing desire, menopause, erection concerns, and the belief that your sex life has an expiration date. Suzanne shares her experiences with intimacy in later life, from navigating physical changes to building anticipation and getting creative with pleasure. We discuss why adapting your approach can help you feel more confident and less pressured, how to ask for what you need, and what getting older has taught Suzanne about her body and relationships. Expect practical ideas, honest stories, and plenty of humor. In this episode, we get into: • Myths about aging, sexual desire, and when people supposedly stop wanting sex • Suzanne's experiences with vaginal estrogen and testosterone, and advocating for care • Changing arousal patterns and why anticipation, touch, and scheduling can help • Erection concerns, performance anxiety, and pleasure beyond penetration • Adapting to mobility challenges with positioning, pillows, and creativity • Body confidence, communication, and giving yourself permission to take your time • Dating younger men and how Suzanne's relationship priorities have changed Connect with Suzanne: Website and podcast: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com Social accounts and resources: https://linktr.ee/sexadviceforseniors Curious about coaching with Heather? Explore working together: https://HeatherShannon.co

Get 50% off Beducated where you can learn the skill of great sex! Use promo code HEATHER for your discount: https://beducate.me/heather Want expert help figuring out what’s getting in the way of your sex life? Sign up for a Quickie Assessment with me for personalized guidance and a clearer direction forward: https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/pZLVQLgG/checkout ABOUT THIS EPISODE Feeling sexually frustrated or rejected in your relationship? In this solo episode of Sex for Couples, I’m breaking down three common mistakes I see men make when their female partners have less desire—and how those approaches can accidentally make connection harder. We explore why physical and emotional safety matter for female desire, how mental load and resentment can affect intimacy, and what it looks like to help your partner feel understood and supported. Your sexual needs matter, too. I share how to express them without turning sex into a negotiation, obligation, or another item on your partner’s to-do list. We also explore how repeated rejection can create a scarcity mindset, why low libido often has several overlapping causes, and how to move toward more confidence, curiosity, flirting, and fun. The goal is a sexual connection you both genuinely want. In this episode: Why emotional safety extends beyond physical boundaries to feeling heard, respected, and free from sexual pressure. How unequal mental load, decision fatigue, and a “project manager” dynamic can get in the way of desire. Practical ways to take initiative and share responsibility without making your partner assign every task. Why bargaining for sexual contact can create obligation and negative associations with sex. How to communicate your sexual needs and feelings while staying curious about your partner’s experience. What a sexual scarcity mindset looks like—and how to start rebuilding confidence when you’ve felt unwanted. How stress, health, hormones, relationship dynamics, and daily routines can overlap to affect libido.

Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz to discover what could be keeping you stuck—and where to start: https://TheBetterBedroom.com What do you do when your partner comes out as asexual and you have a high sex drive? How do you get in the mood when life feels like an endless to-do list? In this listener Q&A episode of Sex for Couples, I’m answering your questions as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. We explore mismatched desire, different ways to experience intimacy, and how to stay curious about your options when your sex life takes an unexpected turn. I also discuss how hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can influence libido—and why hormones aren’t the whole picture. Plus, I share my advice for building a satisfying relationship from the beginning, including talking openly about sex, maintaining your individuality, and bringing more playfulness into your connection. Whether you’re navigating a desire discrepancy or simply feeling too busy for intimacy, this episode offers starting points for less pressure and more connection. In this episode, we cover: Navigating a relationship with an asexual partner, including conversations about boundaries, sexual needs, and shared intimacy. Why persistent, painful arousal deserves medical attention—and exploring the emotional needs that can accompany a desire for sex. Making room for intimacy when you’re overwhelmed, with mental foreplay, responsive desire, and small moments of connection. How menstrual cycles and life stages such as breastfeeding and perimenopause can affect sexual desire. Talking about sexual preferences and giving feedback in a positive, playful way—including trying a “kissing lab.” Keeping curiosity and attraction alive through individuality, novelty, emotional honesty, and a shared willingness to grow.

Want your partner to take charge in bed, but struggle to actually let go? Or curious about being dominant without feeling like you’re playing a character? In this episode of Sex For Couples, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon welcomes professional dominatrix and erotic leadership expert Kimi Inch to explore conscious kink, dominance and submission, and building sexual confidence through connection. Heather and Kimi unpack why trust, self-worth, and relationship patterns can get in the way of surrender—and how to explore BDSM with more curiosity and less pressure to perform. Through real examples from her work with couples, Kimi shares how to develop an authentic dominant style, communicate sexual fantasies and boundaries, and use a verbal rehearsal to discover what excites you both before trying it in the bedroom. Key takeaways: Why being in charge all day doesn’t automatically make surrender easy in bed. How trust, self-worth, and unresolved relationship dynamics can affect dominance and submission. What subspace and Dom space can feel like—and why both partners need to let go in different ways. How erotic leadership uses presence, responsiveness, and creativity to build connection. How to use a kink checklist to discuss desires, boundaries, and sexual compatibility. Why talking through a fantasy before acting it out can build anticipation and clarify what feels good. How short play sessions, check-ins, and permission to make mistakes can take the pressure off exploring kink.

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com. Tired of the all or nothing sex cycle? Learn how to enjoy intimacy without pressure, even when your energy is running low. If you feel like every affectionate moment needs to lead to intercourse, you might be trapped in an all or nothing sex mindset. This pattern often leaves partners feeling exhausted or disconnected, as it narrows the definition of what intimacy can be. This episode is for anyone who wants to break that cycle and find more room to breathe in their relationship. Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon explains how to build intimacy without pressure, helping you explore diverse forms of intimacy that do not require high energy or a high libido. By shifting your focus away from the performance of intercourse, you can start reclaiming your sexual experiences and finding connection in the small, everyday moments. Subscribe for weekly relationship insights, and comment if you have felt the pressure to perform in your own relationship. Want Heather to be your sex and relationship coach? Request your free consultation call here: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite