Show Notes
When your child prefers one parent, that stretch where they suddenly only want one of you — it's one of the most common and most misunderstood phases in early parenting. Most parents respond by accidentally gamifying it, and that's the exact thing that makes it worse.
In this podcast, a licensed clinical psychologist breaks down why treating "who do you want tonight?" like a contest backfires, and what to say and do instead so both parents feel valued, and your child learns that love isn't something you win.
Research on infant-parent attachment shows preference patterns are a normal, temporary part of development, but how parents respond to them determines whether the pattern fades or gets reinforced.
In this podcast: → The bedtime habit that's accidentally training your child to pick favorites → Why cheering for the "winner" makes preference worse, not better → The Interchangeable Parent Rule, and the exact words to use tonight → What to do when your child protests the parent they didn't pick → How this connects to raising a child who thrives long-term
Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better
More from Parenting With Psychology
Meet your baby first. Then buy. These are the baby registry must-haves from a clinical psychologist and mom of four: what to register for, five things to skip, and three to wait on. It's the list I sent my brother-in-law when he asked what to put on his registry.
How to stop toddler whining comes down to one instruction: answer the voice, not the whine. Whether it’s a snack, a toy, or five more minutes of screen time, this video gives you the exact two sentences to say the second the whine starts.
Whether you lean strict or soft, you've probably never been told which parenting style you slip into, or what the research shows happens to kids raised inside each one. This video walks you through the three you're most likely to land in, in plain language, with no shame attached and gives you the piece you've been missing: Reasoned Rules, the way into the style linked to the best outcomes for kids.
Is your child misbehaving at school and you don't know how to respond when the call comes in?
Learning how to build confidence in kids starts with a hard truth: the instinct to jump in and help isn't just harmless, it can quietly teach your child that they can't handle hard things alone. If your child refuses the puzzle above their level, hides when it's their turn, or gives up the second something gets tricky, this is the pattern behind it.